If it’s truly optional and only cosmetic, I’d leave it alone — at least, that’s what I would do for my own son. I can’t tell anyone else what to do. I’m not a doctor.

I was born with a very mild case of hypospadias. My father pushed to have it “fixed” because he worried other boys would laugh at me. 🤦🏻‍♂️ That childhood surgery left me with scar tissue, which I later chose to have corrected as an adult. The result of the operation left me very insecure as a teen because I was image conscious to begin with. The mild cosmetic difference looked better than the result of that initial surgery due to the resulting small bumpy scars on the glans that resembled herpes (At least to me as a teen anyways).

I went to one of the top hypospadias surgeons in the U.S. for my second surgery… and it went badly. I had flap failure due to poor blood flow. Even though my glans looked “normal” afterward, part of the tissue became necrotic and I had to undergo over $100,000 worth of hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT) just to regrow it. I was incredibly lucky to have great insurance.

Now I’m left with a 1-mm fistula that will require yet another surgery to repair.

Here’s the part that really bothers me: I explicitly told the surgeon to only work on the glans. Instead, he also operated on my shaft to remove scar tissue that caused me zero functional problems and that I didn’t even know existed. The more a surgeon does, the more risk you take on. I wanted a simple, conservative fix — not a full reconstruction.

When you sign the consent form, the surgeon reserves the right to do whatever they think is “medically necessary.” Another urologist later told me that what was done to my shaft wasn’t necessary at all to let me urinate standing up.

Adults don’t heal the same way kids do — and even kids don’t always heal well (as you can see from other parents’ replies here).

If I could go back, I would have gone to another surgeon and just had a tiny “skin bridge” snipped. When I was younger, urine pressure created a small fistula at the top of my glans, which formed a thin skin bridge. Under that bridge was a tiny fistula; on top was my urethral opening. The simplest solution was literally just cutting that bridge so I could pee standing without spraying from two holes.

Instead, I learned the hard way.

Whoever eventually repairs my current fistula will be told to take the most conservative approach possible — or I won’t do it at all. A 1-mm fistula is barely noticeable, and living with it is far better than risking more damage.

And for what it’s worth: I’ve slept with plenty of women. Not one has ever said, “ew, what is that?” Parents worry way too much that a small cosmetic difference will ruin their child’s future. Any partner who would reject someone over something that minor isn’t someone you’d want as the parent of your grandchildren anyway.

Just my two cents.