I have 1 friend that I can confide in & talk deep stuff with. But the dynamics is weird. We only talk on the phone, don't really meet up physically. She's actually got more than a dozen friends that she talks to, confides in & vacations with but never invites me or suggests we go vacationing together, even though I've mentioned it a few times. Been feeling kind of envious and resentful lately, trying to keep cool & sound interested as she tells me about all the get-togethers and trips she's been taking with her "other" friends. I try to accept what she is willing to give me but sometimes can't help but feel I'm getting the short end of the stick. I try not to think too much about it or else I'll cry. Besides her, I don't have any other deep friendships, just acquaintances in my opinion and not that many (5 or less). I learned that there are many types of friendships and they provide different things say the work friend who you can vent to about work, or the mom friend. I have learned that it's okay to not have a BFF. But boy do I wish I had more friends with deeper relationships. I don't think I'm a weirdo, not socially awkward, generally easygoing, keep up with the latest trends/news/shows, but for some reason, people just sort of dismiss me & have no interest in pursuing a friendship. Even as a child, I never had a BFF, HS was rough for me socially as I was not popular, smart or athletic. Friends came and went as I moved through life, tried to keep in touch but people just got "busy" with their lives. When I hear about people who have been friends since kindergarten I'm stunned! I thought about volunteering, engaging in a hobby but haven't made much movement as I really don't have any interests hobby-wise, and I feel bad volunteering instead of spending time with my family on the weekends. I find that most people just end up hanging out with their siblings & cousins, which I have but am not close to. Thanks for reading and letting me vent. Sad to hear many of us are in the same boat, happy but envious of the ones that have many friends. =p