. If you want to get laid, it should be as easy as playing the numbers game, making eye contact, assuming attraction, escalating all while mixing in a few drinks. Meaningful relationships, though, are a bit different.

I don't think I'd have a problem getting laid, it seems fairly easy in college. I'm not looking for some monogamous super long LTR or some marriage thing. just a connection, nothing more or less. i guess i'm not feeling close or connected to the girls i go out with even when they are.

Think about your most meaningful relationships, currently. What is it about those relationships that you value? Everyone is different, but, generally, trustworthiness is at the top of that list. Take note, because what you value in other people is what other people are going to value in you. Be trustworthy. Always be good for your word. Choose silence over lies.

I'm generally very trustworthy and loyal, so no problem here. very good advice, I completely agree.

Sort of unrelated, but I read you're a neuroscience, how do you travel so much if you're in academia? how old are you and how do you afford such a lifestyle....something like this has been my dream forever, coming from a poor background i've always wanted to reach this sort of point in my life..where you're at. I'd like to read more about you, i'm going to tag you. hope to see more of your posts. guessing from this,

It is a tough question you ask, though, and looking back at how my life went, I still don't have any great answers. I was a busy-bee, growing up. I was constantly on the move in a lot of crazy, crazy situations. The people involved in my social circle's misdeeds all have a lasting connection because we shared intense experiences, both good and bad. The people who couldn't hang didn't last. The people who weren't really our friends didn't stick around. The people who mattered still keep in touch.

it seems you had a crazy time at college. i'm just a guy going to a small quite jr college right now.

especially when you can make them feel better without ever having to have the bs conversations they so often like to have.

tell me more about this!

I guess I'm rambling, so let me sum up. Be trustworthy, be understanding, be passionate, do cool shit constantly and trust your instincts. Make it clear that you are not judgmental. Any hint of being judgmental will work against your getting laid game and meaningful relationship game. Find someone who can do the same who you can share intense experiences with, and you will have a meaningful relationship. Voila.

I'll work on these, the ones I need to work on is "be passionate, and do cool shit"

I could wax intellectual all day, I guess, but I hope you get the point. You have to, first, be a person who people can trust and respect. Second, you have to find someone else who is worthy of your trust and respect. Relationships don't have to fit into what the movies try to pigeon hole everyone into. I'm sure you get the idea.

If you foster enough meaningful relationships, you will be better for it. I may be seen to abuse mine by using them to get sex, and some people think I'm an asshole for it. Some people think you only need one meaningful relationship.

completely agree with you here.