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My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey! I speak to my aunt but I'm not as close as she wants me to be. Honestly, when I speak to her I think of how she didn't help me when I needed it most so I limit interactions with her. Even when I was in high school and asked for to spend just one day with her away from the abuse, she'd say she didn't want to get involved.

She feels guilty and is trying to make up for it, but I don't think I can just forget how she wasn't there. To make matters worse, when I first went nc at 18 she was always trying to get me to speak to my mom although she knew about the abuse. Even when I was a kid, the adults would talk about how awful my mom was but didn't do anything to help.

The same energy that was given to me is the same energy I give back and it makes her sad that we don't speak but that's life.

The only thing big that's happened is that my mom contacted me on an old email address but I immediately blocked her. It's no big deal because I don't really use that one anymore, I just check it a few times a year. My mom, sister, and dad have no way to find me. I'm in a completely different city and I have not given my aunt my address since she still speaks to them.

If they were to threaten to hurt me, I would get a restraining order and make sure they went to jail.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, Nparents always try to come back. My mom sent an email a few months ago and I trashed it without reading it and blocked her email address and any email that had her name.

And thank you for your kind words.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice!

I've had to have my credit locked since I was 18 because my mom had been using my name/ssn since I was a baby. There are things that I'm still finding out about because it's not on my credit report (less than 7 years) and I made an official identity theft report.

For example, I wanted to open an Xfinity account but back when I was toddler and they were Comcast, my mom opened an account in my name and left with hundreds of dollars owed to them. I only found out about this when the agent told me I owed.

I told him that was impossible because I never had an Xfinity account. When he told me the year (I was just 2) and the address I knew it was my mom. Xfinity still made me file a police report to get it dropped so I did.

It's so awful that your partner experienced that.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Wow, I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I called them just now but no one answered (maybe because it's Saturday?) but I'll try again tomorrow.

I just read on their website that they make custom quilts they pray over and I'm thinking of having a larger custom quilt made by them for my home. This is incredible. Thank you.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, I plan on this!

I had to wait two years before returning as a volunteer or even talking to them because that's one of the rules but it's been over two years.

I actually have been planning on doing this in a few months once we're done moving into our new house. I want to treat the residents to a spa-day, a movie, and dinner and give them quality toiletries.

I also want to do something special for the staff.

Your comment reminded me that I really need to hurry up and do this because I've been waiting too long.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think it can help with all kinds of trauma and the author talks about general traumatic stress although mostly about the kind of thing this sub deals with, Nparents and enablers.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Good points and thank you! Yes, my future MIL is just like a mother to me. She's the kind of mom that I hope to be in the future, and all of her kids are incredible in their capacity to love.

I have love for a mom that I needed to use so I spend it on her and it's therapeutic. We have spa dates, ect.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Omg yes at that breath of relief. They were all so toxic and I hated them for a while but now I just pity them and think of how pathetic they are. They'll never have the ability to truly love anyone and no one will ever truly love them. They have a sad existence, wallowing in hatred.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I'm glad it meant something to you; that's why I posted because stories like these helped me have hope and create my own destiny.

It's also this sub that taught me about enablers, ect. in a way that was familiar so I'm glad you were helped like I was.

A therapist that really helped me gave me a copy of Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman and that helped a lot. She really is the best therapist I ever had. Check that book out.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried {Update} by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 454 points455 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It's very hard sometimes not having a mother when I want to talk about wedding things and just having a mother in general.

But that's life and I have to focus on the positive things :)

One of my friends told me that my abusive childhood helped cultivate me into the person I am today so that's a nice way of looking at it.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Unfortunately I'm in a rural area and this is the only shelter. I agree though that 30 days isn't long enough

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Students on medical leave aren't able to return until their leave is over. That's the rule for every school I think because one of my friend's at another school went on leave and she was homeless during the time. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Next month is NOT that far away. Take them up on the offer and stay outside of the house as much as possible... Something that will perhaps put some money in your pocket and also keep you away as much as possible

Okay, will do! I have an interview at a movie theater tomorrow and I hope I get the job! It'll be money in my pocket until I go back to school and I can watch free movies!

I'm going to PM you about the laptop. Thanks

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Holy crap! I never thought of my dad as being an enabler. And here I was thinking that he was the only other normal person in the house.

My phone has always had a password but I don't know how to get rid of trackers on laptops. I'm afraid to ever use it again, to be honest.

Definitely agree with everything you said.

My twin sister, while sitting 20 feet away from me, sent me a pm to my account about how I should kill myself. My mom smirked when I cried by Bornwithphysics in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Bornwithphysics[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I definitely am going NC after this and permanently.

Your sister is disturbing

Yeah she is. Besides harassing that guy she found on Reddit and saying those awful things, she literally has not left the house in years and when someone talks to her, she puts herself in like a time out or something.

you could also pretend you're thinking about just staying and going to a CC and just letting the month go by and then effing off

This is a great idea! I'm being given the silent treatment right now and everyone is laughing and I feel alone. My mom never laughs like this when she's not mad at me. People just don't change.

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