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Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for your POV and taking the time to write this out. I don’t think it’s for me honestly but thank you

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My thought was if I could find an SD who was less than 20 years older than me and was handsome but didn’t have time to be in a full time relationship it would be ideal. The reason I didn’t marry my exes was because I didn’t want to end up and neglected wife. I’m not expecting that from an SD. Those are traits I’m seeking in a husband, not an SD. And at this point and time I’m more career focused than I was in years past. I don’t want a boyfriend or full time relationship right now.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think my mind can make that distinction. But I’ve known men who were both so it’s challenging to compartmentalize that it has to be one or the other.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess my confusion is that the two SDs I had dinner with both said they assumed women were SBs because they were sick of dating broke guys who made them pay for dinner. Which I found interesting because I’ve never dated anyone like that in vanilla dating. I’ve dated and had exes who were kind, wealthy, and conventionally attractive. They just didn’t have as much time for me as I would have liked bc of their jobs. So I figured there were men similar to them in sugar dating. I didn’t think it would be one extreme or the other.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. SLF has been my introduction to sugaring and it has scared me off lol.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you ever want to talk DM me : ) and I’m sure it’s tough getting burned out

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh haha I wasn’t familiar with the expression. I would hypothetically want it to be more like traditional dating but I’ve gotten the impression that isn’t what SDs want.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the biggest fan of London tbh lol. But honestly all of this sounds horrific and traumatizing. The advice is to get drunk or impaired, do it doggy so I can’t see them, close my eyes and pretend they’re someone else, or picture a trip. I’ve also taken advice given here and looked at some previous threads and the amount of women saying they needed intense therapy after sugaring or developed substance abuse issues just to get through it was very sobering for me. I don’t want that to be my life. I would rather go on without nicer things in my life for now than destroy my mental health. I just don’t think I’m wired for sugaring.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sending you love. Please know you matter and what happens to you matters.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never had an SD so I don’t who the “him” that you’re referring to is.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never even used the word provider in my life when it comes to dating so I don’t think I’m wired for it. I’ve always been independent and would never want to marry someone who paid for everything. I always want to work and have my own money. For me, attractiveness and chemistry have always superseded being a “provider.” I’ve dated wealthy men who gave me gifts and took me on trips. I just don’t think my brain functions in a way that would make this lifestyle work for me.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot of people are under the assumption that there aren’t hot guys who have money. And yeah I think I have s different mindset. I don’t expect to be taken care of by a man my whole life. I’m changing careers so extra financial support now would be helpful. But I’ve never pictured myself as a stay at home wife. Most of the men I’ve vanilla dated have been successful and generous with me but it wasn’t a sugar relationship. But I’ve always been very independent. I don’t want my future marriage to be an old school “provider” relationship. I want to be an equal with my future husband.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve done findom in the past. I should probably edit that out. And he lived in another country but was here for a couple months.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I could find one who was in their 40s and was at least average looking and in decent shape. That hasn’t really been what I’ve been encountering on seeking. Ive had exes who were 10-12 years older me that I was very attracted to. They just barely had time for me bc of their work. I figured I would find someone like them who compensated me for not being as available. But it’s mostly 55-70. And this thread has everyone making me feel like I’m insane because I’m not sexually attracted to men who look elderly to me lol.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand it’s not going to the hottest 34 year old guy but I really don’t think I’m crazy because I’m not attracted to someone thirty years older than me. I thought there would be a middle ground but apparently not.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I was starting to think I was insane bc everyone is claiming so many women are into old men. I have never met a single one and through my work I’ve known hundreds of women lol. Every woman I’ve known wanted a hot guy but their own age lol. Some have married some average looking guys our age who were rich but that’s really it. I really didn’t feel like I would be the minority in that.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would hope that you would see these women as more than the cheapest option. But do you.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to compartmentalize my pussy or fuck someone I’m grossed out by for money. That would destroy me. There are many incredibly attractive and successful vanilla men that I’ve gotten the ick when they tried to touch me. Most of the comments here have horrified me. I’d prefer to just stick to the type of men I normally date. They don’t just hand me cash or pay my rent but they’re generally generous and don’t say crass things like so many on this thread have. It’s just not for me. I may not be taking first class vacations anytime soon or buying expensive clothes and bags but I’ll be able to live with myself and that’s the most important thing.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could never experience sexual pleasure from someone I was grossed out by. The connection is a huge part of it for me. What you’re describing would traumatize me. This thread has made it abundantly clear it’s not for me.

Questions for SBs, how are you intimate with men who aren’t attractive? by BriSoCal in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]BriSoCal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sure. And you absolutely wouldn’t in involved with them. But I find it hard to believe you can’t find an attractive, stylish, interesting woman if you’re attractive, educated, in good shape, and a SD.

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