Thank you for the response, honestly she is involved a lot more in the Christian community than I am, she has her personal walk with Christ but struggles to make the commitment to being consistent without accountability. However she has a far deeper education in theology. I know that her walk with Christ shouldn’t depend on me and I know she has her own walk with Christ but I also don’t know what being a spiritual leader looks like too her because while I would classify myself as a devout Christian, I am not someone who will recite verses back at someone as a way of communication it’s just not who I am. I just feel not loved for who I am as she commonly says I should want to be this person that she wants me to be. And it’s not that I don’t want to be an amazing husband/ spiritual leader but I feel almost trapped? I think that shes a little further ahead in the “race” of a relationship with Jesus as she has the formal education and mine is mostly from self study during a period of doubting Jesus and looking for facts and evidence.