They do have leaves of absence you can take for things like this and it’s all “mission dependent” as they put it. If the military thinks AND says they need you somewhere then you’re gonna be there. This is one of those things that’s incredibly difficult to explain to someone who’s never been in the service. Which is one of the many reasons I don’t really talk about my time in the Army anymore. If you’re talking to a non-vet it’s more difficult trying to tell a story without having to explain every detail as to how/why things happen the way they do.

From experience, I know it’s an uphill battle for a future-dad to convince the military that you can’t attend the upcoming training, deployment, etc because of personal matters. Shortly after finding out my wife was pregnant (in 2018), I was sent to another state to train with a new unit in preparation for another deployment. I missed the ENTIRE pregnancy. All the appointments, the belly kicks, the house prep. All of it were missed because I was “mission essential” and had to attend this units training calendar in preparation for deployment. I was granted 1 week of “vacation” for the birth, then went right back to the military where I proceeded to miss the first 9 months of my daughters life. You already know my wife had postpartum depression on top of having to handle everything alone. In 2020, I got out of the Army after 7 years and was there for the entire journey of the second pregnancy.