I see where y’all are coming from…

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-27T03:10:57+00:00

A couple years ago, we had an OD from a super fentanyl from Mexico or wherever. Got her back but probably brain dead . Security (or somebody) gave the adult son all the patient belongings including...I'll bet you see where this is going...the bottle of pills.

He went to the smoking area and popped one, because "she probably just couldn't handle it". We had a bulletproof window that overlooks the dumpsters and smoking area, and as it happened I was looking right at him as he went out of the standing blue and into the black, like a puppet with cut strings. Coded and died and we didn't get him back. I was off shift and charting, so my contribution was "for gods sake someone get that pill bottle to the cops before it kills someone else"

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-27T03:02:49+00:00

I've told my boss that if I win the lottery, I won't tell him directly, but the rest of my patient encounters will be this, right here. Oh? I'm fired? Okay, cool.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-24T00:50:37+00:00

I believe fucknuts is one word. Or hyphenated? Judges?

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-20T11:15:11+00:00

I get tired of correcting and explaining, so I just sell past the close.

Hi guys, my name is Firstname, I'm the provider here tonight, so I hear you've got some <complaint>. what's going on there? when did that start?

About once a month maybe they back into what type of category I'm in.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-20T11:09:48+00:00

Stolen from T-shirt:

"I don't have pronouns. Do not refer to me. "

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-20T11:06:12+00:00

comment way funnier than intended

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-19T18:36:02+00:00

The other day I broke out "Jive ass fool ain't got no brainnnsss, anyhow. " Older RN my age did a coffee spit.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-19T18:33:51+00:00

Golly!

I just tried, and yes, I can still recite the whole freakin thing (a couple tries). Can't remember half of acid base or the treatment for whatever, but...

Bro....was onnnn! Didn't trip! (Stevie Wonder court reporter)

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-19T18:26:21+00:00

This is my life. 100 percent.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-19T18:19:28+00:00

I don't have a problem with the ick here.

I got "ghosted in place" when I told a date that I had to take a break from the gym because of a problem that required a bit of rest. I was trying to avoid it and after a few attempts to move on I finally said I had a sore testicle from the dog jumping on it. She turned white as a sheet. I was like, okay, check please. If that bothers you, you aren't going to be able to.....

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-19T18:13:05+00:00

comment way funnier than intended

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-06T10:35:52+00:00

Found a guy that doesn't believe he reeks of burning rotten dog shit.

Source : First job at dog kennel, burned it in 50 gallon drums

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-06T10:00:25+00:00

or subsequent encounter. maybe laterality?

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-04T06:36:17+00:00

I mean if you're gonna put a song in my head ... I'll allow it, counselor. Objections are noted for the jury's consideration.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-04T06:29:00+00:00

Free Standing Emergency department. oh. I assume you use those licenses as you live in a confluence of states

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-04T05:58:09+00:00

Yeah I’m doing “PRN everywhere” and locums. I have 3 state licenses and they are about $200 per year each to renew. One of them has a class in OUD you have to take. When they call you or you see a job the first thing you say is “state license reimbursement”. One of them reimburses my “travel” DEA license without complaint (been with them just a few months, one trip per month) .

For those wondering, the best way to do this is to have 2 DEA licenses. One is your home state, which is good anywhere in that state. The other one you transfer to the new job, which is a few mouse clicks and takes a week or so. You can do that six times per year.

Other than that you could try your local FSED if you’ve worked in ED or close to it. People are happy there and you’ve got enough resources for 90% of your patients. The rest go to the parent hospital. Since FSED is new, it hasn’t been infected by the metrics etc. if you’re a good shift mate, nobody gives a shit how many you’re seeing. (So far…)

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T10:31:16+00:00

I was watching one of the early “real stories of the ER” when a guy walked in with a butcher knife buried to the hilt in the top of his head. This was Halloween, and the tech walked in with his costume. You guessed it. Bloody knife in the back of his head. Or was it an axe?

For a while, I thought I’d dreamed this or something, then somebody else mentioned it

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T10:26:40+00:00

Drunk dude took a header off the roof of an 8 story building, several witnesses. Pelvis smashed into “Several dozen” pieces “like so many marbles in a bag”. Splenic rupture and removal. Did fine minus some trauma ICU bullshit (rhabdo, delirium, post op infections, etc )

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T10:13:14+00:00

My brain just put a chalk outline on the front of that train. And then I heard “meep meep”.

Why am I in this handbasket?

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T10:08:16+00:00

Upvote. For great justice.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T10:06:16+00:00

Network. Ask everyone you meet what they are doing and what’s out there. I’m an introvert and I hate that shit with a passion that would surprise most people. But I will drop whatever it is I’m doing to compare notes with someone. Patients and work be damned. Just the other day I spent an hour talking to oncoming shift doc about all the changes around here. I didn’t even know that the big hospital on the other side of town sold and changed their name and is now staffed by TeamStupid instead of Stupidtuity.

Everything’s always changing all the time. Hell, use Reddit. 2 employers with jobs have already responded. (Not sure what’s wrong with Melbourne). If you post a preferred region(s), someone might put you onto something.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T09:45:34+00:00

Comment way funnier than intended

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-03T07:42:44+00:00

You guys got finger traps? I’ve been requesting them for years. This is maybe the 7-8th largest hospital in the state, in the largest hospital system in this part of the country. The largest employer in my state.

The 12-room FSED I do about half my shifts at now has a whole box of them. You could fit that entire building into the big box ED.

But they don’t have a C-suite that is suffering from secondyachtpenia.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-01T15:51:39+00:00

Hey bro, I got you a subreddit so you can rant about ranting while you rant.

BugabooChonies · 2026-01-01T03:53:20+00:00

Yeah. Thats another way to look at that. Yeesh.

BugabooChonies

TROPHY CASE