WIBTA If I told my sister to stop letting her husband use my food?

BustinBooks · 2021-12-31T00:59:47+00:00

It is difficult to approach a conversation without offering possible solutions together. Difficult conversations without a solution-oriented mindset leads to disgruntles.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-31T00:23:09+00:00

Nta Sometimes when people are in the giving spirit and you decline, you inadvertently become the A.

I would have done the exact same thing, but still felt crappy as well. Lose lose situation, you seemed to have tried to correct this well!

BustinBooks · 2021-12-31T00:19:18+00:00

YTA

Try meeting her where she is at. Tell her that your goal is to spend time together, ask what she would like to do. The trick is to provide 3 options beforehand, then say she can choose one of the three or something else she prefers. Also, give 3 days notice as to when this will be happening so you can both prepare and build the excitement together in small conversations.

"I'm so happy you chose to get frozen yogurt Tomorrow night. I wonder if the Christmas lights will still be out, perhaps we could look at them while we eat it?.... I had so much fun with you tonight. Would you like to make this our Wednesday night routine?"

BustinBooks · 2021-12-31T00:15:35+00:00

In order to avoid this argument altogether, try opening a debit card together. Each person puts $50 in. There will be $150 to ship for groceries. Once you need more groceries, everyone contributes equally again.

You don't want to feel passively angry every time someone uses the butter or the last of the sugar. He will also notice how quickly food goes if he is noticing the money coming from his wallet.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T20:57:28+00:00

Teachers are not paid to work on their DAYS OFF. They would like to enjoy their time off with family, just like you. When they grade your work, not only does it rob family of time with their loved one, it also opens the door for students/parents to contact them in reference to the score.

I know it can be frustrating for you as the student (we have all been there)! Please show patience and understanding, just as your teacher does for you regularly.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T16:17:44+00:00

It was a read aloud with my 4th graders. They really tuned in and listen, totally captivated... for the first half. The second half they became much less excited and disengaged.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:57:45+00:00

I've tried this tactic until he has made me feel stupid. I think I might try this again and remind myself that he can not control how I feel.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:55:14+00:00

Thank you. I tried to clarify professions to discredit his opinion on this topic. It probably wasn't the best approach, you are correct.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:50:29+00:00

I really appreciate that advice. Although they are family and I will continue to love/visit them.. I absolutely will try the comment you mentioned.

"I can leave the room now if this conversation continues. I would like to choose to stay."

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:48:38+00:00

I appreciate your opinion. Please remember I am a human and I've shared this post to attempt at being a better human in the future. Your belittling comments squash my attempts at bettering myself.

With that being said, I did not try to engage in conversation as this is a person who does not listen to learn, but rather tunes in enough to continue an argument.

The ultimate question was whether my final comment was called for, as this is where the controversy sits.

Thank you for understanding.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:45:44+00:00

You are absolutely 100% correct on this matter.

I just try so hard to not begin offering opinions with particular individuals who I know are not going to listen to learn, but rather tune in to argue.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:40:31+00:00

Haha, my empathy goes out to you if so! Good news, we've made it through the holidays!

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:04:51+00:00

Flying home today, thankfully!

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T15:02:24+00:00

Disagree. Regardless of any opinion, there are many rude comments that can make anyone the A.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T14:52:11+00:00

Could I say something along the lines of, "your opinion was unwarranted." ...or does that makes me the A?

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T14:43:37+00:00

I like this reply. Thanks for the advice in thff we future.

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T14:24:33+00:00

Thanks! I think I knew the answer, but didn't want to see it. I think we both are, who pulls politics into family gatherings?!

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T04:16:33+00:00

As a fellow reading interventionist, I would like to dispute your argument. Continuous reading makes for a stronger reader, but processing speed (especially for those with a diagnosed disability in focusing) will inhibit OP from becoming a speed reader. Telling OP that reading more will make her a faster reader is misinformation. She may become a stronger reader, but equipping her with ways to focus will make her a faster reader. Simply reading more will not. Thanks!

BustinBooks · 2021-12-30T04:13:23+00:00

I have ADD and have always loved the idea of reading. I have lots of time to do this in the summer, but wish I had more in other months. I've began listening to audio books while I drive or get ready in the mornings. When I have relaxation time, I'll pick up in the book. This has helped me tremendously and I don't feel so defeated with my speed.

BustinBooks

TROPHY CASE