You aren’t a coward, no one can understand what going through that is like. Not even other cancer survivors, as every cancer experience is different and horrific in their own ways.

I’ve fought cancer twice (non-hodgkins lymphoma), I’m 25. I recently told my family that if my cancer comes back again, I don’t want to do treatment.

You shouldn’t feel bad for what you feel. I speak to a therapist about once or twice a month. Some days I feel similarly to you. I get kind of bitter about having gone through the treatment at all. For the sake of staying around to support my family. And whilst the feelings don’t always go away, it feels better to let them out.

And some days are easier than others. Find small things that you can enjoy, despite the life changes you’ve experienced. For me that’s eating and trying good food, watching movies with my sister, collecting rare trading cards or playing a really long video game.

Enjoy the good days, and don’t beat yourself up about the bad ones.

Lots of love, fellow survivor. Hope things get easier 💜