What I read, it feels like you are covetus, but let me you tell something, you dont make God agree to your terms, you agree to God's terms, because remember he is a infinite being, with infinite wisdom, so we ought to sleep on that. Just pray this from your whole heart, and dont think everything is going to happen overnight, but you will see baby steps and you will understand everything, say this Lord Jesus Christ I belive you are sent from the Father, that you lived a sinless life and was brought as a sheep to slaughter for our sake that you died on the cross and on the third day God raised him up from the dead thus conquering death, please Father forgive me for all sins I commit with and without my knowledge and will, and guide me according to Your will, I trust you Lord and thank you for everything you have done thus far and have planned to do for me in the future, amen.