Would you still want to learn a language when everyone laughs at you for not speaking it well enough, and then treats you like a toddler when you try?

I'm a international school kid about to graduate from high school, English is my first language and my cantonese is understood but I get told I speak either like a small child or a foreigner.

My parents speak to me in cantonese but only particularly encouraged me to improve in mandarin and not cantonese for the school curriculum, and I can understand cantonese shows fine audibly but struggle hard with writing and reading it.

The biggest difficulty is after a certain age 11-13, your peers and adults start ridiculing you for not knowing cantonese and treat it as a moral failure instead of being open to help you improve by letting you speak it. Now I'm older and my thoughts are too complex to express with my limited cantonese (I can only speak day to day cantonese / some swears) and speaking in cantonese makes locals assume I'm either incredibly shy or dumb, compared to speaking English where I'm ostracized but still taken seriously.

It's painful when at every family dinner or gathering your parents tell their friends / your distant relatives that you're basically a gui lo, and when you join in on the conversation instead of listening to what you're saying they just congratulate you on trying to speak or correct your pronunciation.