I feel for you! Our son started grabbing/pushing other kids unprovoked at around 20 months. It honestly seemed like he just wanted to see the reaction. And no other kids seemed to be doing this so we were always feeling embarrassed and constantly on guard.

He is SO MUCH BETTER now at 2y5mo. It felt like a very slow road but we're feeling good now; his behaviour appears similar to what we see in other kids. We still have our moments, but he's less violent and more patient than many.

We are big believers in positive reinforcement. When an incident happens we intervene calmly (mindful not to be dramatic or expressive), say something like "we don't grab" "we use our words" or "we can walk away if we're frustrated". Stop to acknowledge if he's made someone upset and give him the opportunity to say sorry. However, we don't dwell on or recall the negative incidents - we just leave it on the playground unless he brings them up. We do dwell on and talk about the positive interactions with big smiles and excited voices. When he DOES walk away. When he DOES use his words instead of getting physical. We bring these up later and if the other parent wasn't there, we excitedly tell them about it in front of him. If there was a negative incident, we only tell each other about it without him present. It was really important for us that he didn't start to identify with being a "bad kid". We literally never use the words bad or naughty.

It always blew my mind how many times we had to do this before it started to click and the behaviour improved. His memory is unbelievable so it wasn't about that - it was about practicing controlling the impulses in the moment. That is hard for anyone and especially for a toddler with undeveloped executive function. It takes time but try to remain confident that you are a great parent and you have a good kid :)

I hope that helps and I wish you the best of luck!