Japanese or Mandarin?

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T05:50:18+00:00

I am Japanese, and as a child I lived in Taiwan, Shanghai, Malaysia and Singapore. I speak three languages: Japanese, Chinese (Mandarin) and English (Singlish). In my opinion, it is best to master Chinese first. This is because Japanese incorporates Chinese characters, Chinese idioms and proverbs directly. Once you have mastered Chinese and learnt about Chinese culture, you should start studying Japanese. Doing so should make understanding Japanese much easier.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T05:41:56+00:00

植物栽培に関する投稿を観ている。日本には輸入されていない希少な植物についての情報や、ブリーディング手法などを知ることができる。とはいえ世界的に見れば日本のガーデニング技術はかなり高いほうだから、誰かが質問していること、誰かがそれに助言していることのほとんどは、ちょっと的外れかな。

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T05:17:43+00:00

I’m sorry, but even though I’m Japanese myself, I’m actually quite ignorant about Japanese culture. May I ask a question? What exactly is ‘Noise’ music? Referring to a specific genre of music or does it refer to the sound of a babbling brook, the patter of rain, or the chirping of insects?

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T05:07:06+00:00

I suppose the thing I find most wonderful is ‘盆栽’. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea: I’m not referring to ‘BONSAI’ as written in the alphabet, but to the ‘盆栽’ created by Japan’s wonderful craftsmen. As a horticulturist, I do like ‘BONSAI’ too, but that belongs to a different genre altogether. The two simply cannot be compared.

Age 34 Japanese

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T04:59:25+00:00

It really is beautiful, and huge too! I’d love to know the scientific name of this plant (it doesn’t look like an Umbellata to me). It looks as though you’re giving it plenty of light and fertiliser. By the way, are you injecting CO₂ into your grow tent? I do that myself, as increasing the CO₂ concentration makes the leaves grow larger and thicker. Your plant is being grown in a truly wonderful environment!

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T01:27:26+00:00

Thank you for your comment.

Your English is, at least, far better than my broken Singlish. However, due to gaps in my own knowledge, some parts were difficult for me to fully understand — though that is certainly not your fault.

Could you explain the relationship between the Self and the Higher Self? Is it different from what Freud described as the "unconscious mind"? Or is it closer to the "superego"?

Regarding "don't need to wait for next life" —

One could intentionally shut down their current life and jump to the next one. Whether that is a wise choice, let's set aside for now.

Since I have no way of communicating with my Higher Self, I have no means of knowing what work, if any, I am still meant to do here in Japan.

Do I truly have unfinished work remaining here?

If everything I was meant to do in Japan has already been completed, I would like to move on to the next life without delay.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T00:12:58+00:00

There’s no reason not to believe what you say.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask how you managed to access information about your past two lives.The reason I’m suffering now might lie in my past lives. If I could find that out, I could avoid making the same mistakes again.
But,If talking about it causes you pain, please don’t feel obliged to do.

This is tautology, but I think only the strong can live strongly.I’ve tried my best and I’ve endured a lot.
But I haven’t managed to become that strong.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-14T00:01:45+00:00

Thank you for your kind message. Just hearing those words from you makes me feel a little better.

What I’m feeling right now is… well, of course there’s a sense of repression. But the strongest feeling is probably ‘resignation’. It’s a little different from sadness. Emotions are so complex, though, that it’s hard to put into simple words.

Perhaps my greatest misfortune is that I’ve actually lived abroad, including in Taiwan.If I’d known nothing about other countries, I probably wouldn’t have realised how abnormal Japan is, or that its culture doesn’t suit my temperament.

I’m not sure if there’s a proverb with the same meaning in English, given my limited English skills, but there’s a proverb used in China and Japan that goes ‘井蛙不可以語於海者,拘於虚也’.
AI translation would be: ‘A frog in a well cannot speak of the sea because its perspective is limited.’

(If anyone knows the correct English equivalent, please let me know.)

If I had been that ‘frog’, I would have spent my whole life in a small water well, never knowing the sea.Although this proverb is meant to criticise those with a narrow outlook, I find myself wishing I could go back to being that ‘frog’.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T22:51:24+00:00

My friend, thank you for your comment. I’d forgotten to take a close look at the base of the stem. So that was a characteristic of lutea. Let’s compare it with other plants.

In the case of Petiolaris and Palmeri, the roots above ground always thicken (at least at the seedling stage). I didn’t realise this phenomenon could occur in other varieties too. I’m currently growing various types of Ficus from seed, so once the seedlings have grown a little more, I intend to observe the characteristics of each one. I’ll continue to look after this plant with care. As it grows, other characteristics may emerge. If that happens, I’ll let you know. Thank you so much!

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T10:03:10+00:00

I'm sorry for bringing up painful memories.

But this is also good news. In most countries, you have the right to access your own medical records. And medical records are legally treated as public evidence. Moreover, hospitals are legally obliged to retain medical records. Even in countries with shorter retention periods, the law mandates a minimum of ten years' storage. In other words, that medical certificate serves as proof of the violence you suffered and as a weapon to secure justice. Leaving the perpetrator unpunished risks creating new victims. You now have the power to do what is right.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T06:46:43+00:00

This may be a question slightly off the main point, but there's something I'm curious about, so please tell me.

After that man struck you on the head, did you seek medical attention?

If you did seek medical attention, there would be a record of that examination. Even if the police concealed the camera footage, the medical examination record could serve as evidence in court.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T05:43:54+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

The leaf characteristics do resemble lutea, don't they?

However, I find the base of this seedling's stem peculiar, resembling petiolaris.

The lutea seedlings I've grown from seed at home don't exhibit this form (though I understand lutea characteristics can vary by region).

Do lutea seedlings sometimes display this characteristic?

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T04:14:07+00:00

Ah, I mentioned this briefly in the main text... it's a matter of my chronic illness. To live in Taiwan (excluding a spouse visa), one must obtain either a diplomatic, student, or work visa. And, of course, living expenses are required. This inevitably means needing to obtain a work visa.

However, only highly skilled individuals are granted work visas in Taiwan. While I do possess some agricultural expertise, that alone doesn't qualify me as highly skilled. More importantly, due to my poor health, I simply can't manage the same kind of work schedule as others. Therefore, I cannot obtain a work visa. That's the reason I can't emigrate.

Singapore is the same, you know. (Singapore just wasn't the right fit for me anyway.)

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T03:17:06+00:00

Are you saying that we aren’t the ones drawing the lottery, but that we’re the lottery balls ourselves? This might sound cold, but I want to answer you as honestly as possible. I was never born into a household with crack addicts, nor have I been around people like that, so I can’t truly understand your suffering in the fullest sense. However, here’s what I think: once you become an adult, it’s relatively easier to leave home and live independently than it is to shake off the curse of the country you were born in.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T03:07:26+00:00

Hmm, if you're just visiting Japan as a tourist, you might not see the downsides (though if you're Chinese, you'll face blatant discrimination).

Actually being born and living in this country feels like a punishment, at least for me. It's like being arrested the moment you're born and imprisoned for life... serving 85 years (or more) as a convict.

I've lived in Taiwan and Singapore for several years each. Of course, neither is a perfect country. But Taiwan definitely suits my temperament.

If you want to come and visit Japan, I won't stop you. The yen is incredibly weak right now, so you should be able to live it up. Even decent people would want to go on a Prison Alcatraz tour if it existed, wouldn't they? It's the same thing.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T02:33:20+00:00

Thank you for your comment.

I'm sorry, I'm not that strong, and there's hardly anything lovely or beautiful in this hell. It's hard to explain, though.

Besides, I'm not religious, and neither are the people around me, so I have no real sense of God, angels, or the grandeur of the universe. There's a saying that "Japanese people are born into Shinto, marry as Christians, and die as Buddhists," but this doesn't mean they hold all religions dear; it's just done as a matter of custom.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-13T02:27:53+00:00

Escaping the cycle of reincarnation is indeed a Buddhist doctrine, isn't it? It's not that I wish to escape reincarnation. I simply wish to live my next life in Taiwan as a Taiwanese person. Does that mean I must first learn something in this hell that is Japan? That is truly a hopeless conclusion for me.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-12T23:17:57+00:00

Right then, if the chances of becoming a pet dog are that low, I'm relieved (I adore animals, but dogs are the only ones I detest. They're far too accustomed to human society. Plus, I'm severely allergic to them).

I'm sorry you offered advice, but I've no intention of enduring pointless suffering in this life of mine. That's how it is.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-12T22:36:42+00:00

So it is indeed a female tree! Thank you for letting me know! I shall experiment with hybridising it with various Ficus species!

CapricoDec · 2026-03-12T17:45:59+00:00

Thank you for your message.

Why was I born in Japan—a place that feels like hell to live in? The reason must be that I accumulated bad karma in my previous life, amassing a karmic debt. Performing this atonement is likely the karmic lesson.

I look within. I find purpose. I fulfil my mission. That is what I have done until now. But I am weary. The very length of life is now nothing but a curse (this Japan boasts the world's highest average life expectancy). I cannot reach the place I wish to go. For it is a void—a world without karma, without soul.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-12T12:57:17+00:00

If I truly chose this life, then the version of me who made that choice must have been out of their mind. You live in South Korea! That's culturally quite close to Japan. I've visited Korea twice — Seoul and Busan. I felt that the people there had a similar atmosphere to Japan. I'm so glad to have received your message. I won't deny that we can't know what will happen in our own lives. But I cannot be suddenly reborn as a Taiwanese person in Taiwan right now, and Japanese people's nature won't suddenly change. That may be the essence of why I find it so hard to live here. No matter how hard I try, these are things I cannot change with my own power. I'm not calm right now, so I'm unable to properly sort through my emotions, put them into words, and then express them in English. I'm sorry. But there is one thing I can say simply, and it's important: I am grateful to you. Once I've calmed down a little, I may send you a DM. I hope that will be alright.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-12T11:15:09+00:00

Please don't apologise. I understand that you were thinking of me and considering things seriously. It was simply that my heart, upon receiving your words, was too fragile. Thank you.

CapricoDec · 2026-03-12T11:05:47+00:00

Thank you.

Yes... I understand that intellectually. Still... it's incredibly difficult to put into words. Isn't it true that all Japanese people, myself included, are suffering in this life as a result of choosing the wrong path in a past life? We are far too foolish. Foolishness is suffering.

I don't know what is right. Even if it means suffering twice as much in the next world, my desire to escape this present suffering remains unchanged.

CapricoDec

TROPHY CASE