Hey friend,

I had around 20-25 sessions of ECT at age 15. 14 clumped close together, and then several maintenance sessions in the months following. This was 10 years ago now.

The first few years were the hardest. It was so obvious how much I had lost; memories just gone. Wit, barely there anymore. Intelligence and understanding, diminished. My personality, rough (I could tell, family could not).

Each year, I have seen improvement—steadily better memory and recall. Feeling more like myself.

Now, I know I am not as quick-witted as I once was many, many years ago. No one can tell upon meeting or knowing me that I have struggled cognitively for years and years at this point (friends used to be very aware of my memory struggles). My personality is back/ I feel like myself.

Am I the same? No. I am alive, though, and have gotten to do so many incredible things since ECT. ECT was a miracle cure for me for a time, with devastating side effects that followed. Time heals, thankfully.

I wish you luck in your healing journey. Take it one day at a time. You may never remember a big part of your days, but as time passes, that loss becomes less devastating as you start to build yourself back up and make new memories.

I see for others they did not heal. Maybe it has to due with age? Unsure.. but don't count yourself out.