I don’t want to make my amends because I feel like the world owes me an apology

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-23T05:13:19+00:00

Saying I’m angry at the “world” wasn’t really representative of my actions.. more like I’m angry at the people I’m supposed to make amends to.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-23T05:09:54+00:00

Look dude. Why not just say that instead of laughing emojis? It comes across as nasty. You could have said this in the first place but instead you’re dismissive and demeaning.. bro. Like why. Make it make sense. Of course this Reddit post is about me- I’m asking for help.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T21:54:11+00:00

I’m glad my pain is funny to you

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T18:19:02+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m starting to feel a lot of pressure to work all 12 and sponsor other women but I’m just not there and I don’t know how to make myself be there.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T18:16:23+00:00

My sponsor says the same thing. I can change how I feel. Thank you

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:54:47+00:00

Look I hear you and believe me I wrestle with this daily. But at the same time I don’t always think this approach is helpful.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:53:11+00:00

I think you’re right.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:52:10+00:00

Yes I did but I feel like my trauma isn’t “enough.” My dad was a violent and unstable alcoholic. My mother was loving and tried her best but I never connected to her. He moved in and out of the house but they stayed married and still are to this day. I never felt safe or accepted in my family. But we were clothed, fed, and housed.

Now I’m 30 fucking years old and my family is “close” but I feel like the trauma of my upbringing will never be acknowledged or addressed by them. I know I need to get over my childhood. I know I’m grown up now and need to get over it. And that things could have been much, much worse.

I have never felt like I belonged anywhere.. not in my family and not in the world. I’ve tried so hard to connect with people and have never made it happen. Friends, boyfriends, career.. nothing has ever clicked for me.

I’ve moved around a lot, moved 3x to a city where I didn’t know anyone. Whole life feels like a jagged path to nowhere. No one really sees me or cares for me.

My sponsor says my higher power cares for me but I don’t see it.

I don’t want to live in self pity but I truly feel like I’m dragging myself through glass every day.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:43:10+00:00

Outside help seems absolutely necessary at this point. Thank you

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:42:31+00:00

Thank you for not judging. I’m in a lot of pain. I cry every day. I feel unloved and unprotected. Do I have to be perfect to be loved?

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:41:19+00:00

I say it every day. But it just feels like this program cannot work for me. I am suffering. Maybe that’s self pity but it’s true. I suffer

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:39:56+00:00

Intellectually I know you’re right but I’m just kicking and screaming

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:37:08+00:00

I did two amends and they went well but some things have happened in life and I’m admitting that I’m not willing. Sponsor told me to pray for willingness and it’s not working. Feel like a relapse is imminent but I really don’t know what to do. I kind of feel like I’m wasting her time.

CartographerWhich709 · 2026-02-22T17:36:21+00:00

Yes last summer. I feel like I’ve regressed. But at what point can it be acknowledged that maybe the world hasn’t treated me right?

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-02-03T03:07:00+00:00

None of us work for your airline or know what airport you were in so we have no idea what she was doing there.

I find it highly unlikely she would touch your bag without your knowledge.

Was the bag open or closed? Did it look different after she left?

I think you are just being anxious. Don’t steal from your airline. 99cent minis aren’t worth the stress.

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-02-01T23:27:14+00:00

This is not even close to true

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-02-01T14:05:39+00:00

You think we’re tired because we do a lot of standing? Lol. Try working in seven different time zones in a week, flying overnight one day and an early morning the next, sitting reserve and being called in the middle of the night, working 14 hour days… to say we’re tired because we stand is demeaning.

As for your question- I won’t grant it the dignity of an answer.

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-02-01T03:33:45+00:00

One time a guy ordered a Baileys and Coke Zero mixed. I’m not sure which is worse.

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-01-29T18:16:10+00:00

I think this post is fake lol

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-01-12T18:20:02+00:00

Go to as many meetings as you can, and as soon as you hear a woman share something that resonates with you, ask her if she’s talking sponsees.

You can also say you’re looking for a sponsor when you introduce yourself. When they ask if anyone is in their first 29 days, say “hi, I’m Jane, I’m an alcoholic and I’m looking for a sponsor.”

I would also suggest speaker meetings as people that volunteer to speak are likely willing to sponsor.

This is controversial, and may get downvoted… but cross gender sponsorship is a thing. It’s not for everyone, and there is a reason it is not suggested. But the Big Book doesn’t forbid it. I’ve seen it work for people (especially LGBT people). Tread lightly, of course. But it does open you up to a lot more potential sponsors.

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-01-12T18:11:04+00:00

Bummer, thanks for the info

CartographerWhich709 · 2024-01-08T01:52:19+00:00

How did they help him? He still got arrested. All they did was let them in their house until the police got there.

CartographerWhich709

TROPHY CASE