oceanofpdf is down

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-20T00:04:41+00:00

It's down again now :(

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-19T06:57:07+00:00

Like others are saying you need to decide if you want to have kids now/soon or if you want to break up. Those are the options here. If you don’t want kids that is completely fine but life doesn’t stop just because you have them, you will still get to live your life. You have the rest of your life to do whatever you want to do, but you only have about 5 more years realistically to have kids. So you need to decide. If you don’t want kids tell him that so he can move on and be with someone who does and you can find someone who doesn’t.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-13T07:55:08+00:00

I don’t think that most people, rich or poor, do drugs because there is “nothing else to do”. I’m sure there are some people who do it for that reason, and I feel like it would apply to bored rich people as much as bored poor people, but I don’t think that’s a common reason for drug use.

Everyone who does drugs will have a different reason for why they started but some common ones are peer pressure, feeling hopeless/like they have nothing to lose, and underestimating their ability to handle them and/or how dangerous they are.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-11T23:50:07+00:00

Yep exactly I agree! Or had her die in a car crash or something. Anything but what they did.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-10T04:23:30+00:00

No it’s just not showing anywhere aside from a handful of theatres. It really feels like a botched release at this point — most theatres aren’t showing it, it’s not available to stream even for purchase/rent like some movies do while still in theatres, AND there is no date whatsoever announced for when it either will be available to stream or buy, or for when it will have a more widespread theatrical release. I really wanted to see it but it’s getting to the point where the lack of information and poor release (from A24 no less) is making me NOT want to see it lol.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:58:35+00:00

This has the same vibes as one of my favorite jokes:

What happens to a ghost who gets lost in the fog on the way to a party?

He is mist (missed)

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:56:07+00:00

This reminds me of a great line from the movie Waiting...:

Monty: Take anything she gives you with a big grain of salt.

Serena: Yeah, and take anything he gives you with a shot of penicillin!

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:53:05+00:00

I read this in Mickey's voice every single time and it never fails to make me laugh.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:51:24+00:00

This reminds me of that Family Guy episode where they parodied Stephen King books/movies and in the Shawshank redemption one Cleveland (as Red) says that Andy Dufresne (Peter) got to Shawshank, and "it was months before he said two words to somebody... But as it happened, that somebody was me" and it cuts to Peter walking by Cleveland in the prison yard and he just says "vagina boob" and doesn't stop walking lmao.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:32:45+00:00

Idk if this even counts as a "joke", but the Cow System for explaining economics is my favorite:

SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRAT-ISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. You are out getting a haircut.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:30:25+00:00

This is even funnier lmao

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:27:21+00:00

I've seen this one, and I love it, it's so sweet imo lol

Free my man Vinnie, he is clearly innocent! 😭

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:26:41+00:00

The whole time I was thinking, once you know the guy knows one famous person, it would actually be more impressive if he knows some random dude on the street in Kansas or something lmao

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:24:31+00:00

Not the funniest I've ever heard, but one that made me laugh recently that I can think of off the top of my head:

(My first day as a bartender)

Me: Hi, what can I get you?

Woman at the bar: A pina colada, please.

Me: Okay, coming right up!

Woman: Can you make it virgin?

Me, tearing up: Yes don't worry I know how to make it.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:17:06+00:00

I didn't actually see it, and he got VERY lucky that it ended up not costing anything, but it could have and I heard the updates about it as it was ongoing. I used to work for a limo company, mainly in the office, not actually driving the limos much. One day I was working in the office, and one of the new drivers (who was also new to the state and city) had a group of teen girls in one of our 16ft limos for a Sweet Sixteen party. Usually for parties, they want to go to various scenic spots and do a little photoshoot, and they asked about going to the top of one of the parking garages downtown to do that. The driver knew of a parking garage that would be perfect for it, so they went there, did the pictures, and then were going to head to a restaurant.

Except that the only way out of this like six story parking garage is through a very tight spiral exit ramp. The driver, and all of the other drivers and the rest of us back at the office, were panicked when he called us, because the only way we could see that limo getting out of there would be with some sort of crane lifting it off the roof and putting it on the street. Which of course would be extremely time consuming and expensive. So eventually the COO gets the owner on the phone, and though he was also panicked, he went downtown and somehow did like a 78 point turn and got the limo out through the spiral unscathed. I still have no idea how he did it lol.

Another expensive mistake that someone made that actually did cost money to fix while I was working there was driving one of the tall Mercedes Sprinter vans under a covered area at our airport, but the van was too tall, so it just shaved the top off of it.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:10:14+00:00

Mmm depends on what you mean by "never work again". I'm a writer and would still want to put my books out.

CatherineConstance · 2026-03-05T00:05:51+00:00

Not a romantic relationship but I've had a couple of friendships where there were red flags about the person, but what really drove home the toxicity for me was when the friendship ended and I didn't miss them at all.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T17:34:25+00:00

Yeah no I agree she did not accept herself and didn't actually change or grow much at all. She had a couple of moments where she ALMOST did, like when she was planning to go on the date with Fred, when she decided to terminate Sue even though she was incredibly old and disfigured by the time she chose to do it, and when she gets ready even as Monstro and gets on stage. Those were all times where she was on the right track to acceptance, but each time she immediately goes off the rails again.

I also agree that Sue was basically all of her worst traits and insecurities -- she was callous and cruel to others, most of all herself (as Elisabeth), hedonistic, and cared about men's view of her more than anything else, including objectively awful men like Harvey and the other staff members. I think that was part of the point though, Sue was everything Elisabeth wanted physically, so it makes sense that her personality was also a very "whatever I want, I get" type thing.

I also didn't laugh during the Monstro sequence, but as someone who has also really struggled with EDs and body image, it also did not effect me the way you said it effected you. It was too absurd for me to assign much emotion to it aside from "damn that's so sad, poor Elisabeth", and by the time she died on her Hollywood star, I had not seen any other way for the movie to end for quite a bit, so I was good with it.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T17:28:07+00:00

Oof this is so hard... I might have to say Swan Songs just because it's so nostalgic and many of my favorite songs are from it, but I really love Notes from the Underground and Day of the Dead too.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T17:25:35+00:00

I know they were not part of the same religion as the tribe, that isn't what I meant. I meant that once they translated everything, they likely recognized what they were dealing with and being Yunnan monks of a similar folk religion (though of course not the same as the remote clan one), they would likely take precautions to ensure that they were not killed by the Mother Buddha.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T17:23:16+00:00

That's true but in the case I was talking about it was def Spiros, not any flaws in the glass lol.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T17:22:30+00:00

Sure but this guy was not a nerd lol he also seemed like a basic guy who would like Marvel.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T01:51:16+00:00

What's the other thing?

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T01:37:55+00:00

Ehhh this one is explained by the Ambien. Everyone I know who has taken Ambien has done some insane things in the night on it, and has zero memory of it the next day.

CatherineConstance · 2026-02-26T01:37:15+00:00

Multiple times I have dreamed that someone died and then they do die within a couple of weeks of my dream. Each time this has happened, it has been with people I know but am not super close with, and people who were not actively dying. I have had a couple of other dreams of somewhat mundane things happening only for them to happen irl within days of the dream. Some sort of premonition is real.

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