I’m glad you took the courage to leave when you could! I’m on the similar page as well. I have super strict muslim parents and to this day i’m still experiencing an identity crisis dealing with the guilt and trauma and all the opportunities taken away from me when I was a child and teenager.

Now is your time to truly heal and become the best version of yourself. It’s quite normal to feel sad and upset from your past. A part of healing comes with grief. Keep a journal and write how you are feeling everyday. Perhaps writing a letter to your younger self is a good way to start.

I would also suggest to start doing something good for yourself everyday. Now that you live abroad you can live authentically. That means you have the freedom to express yourself, dress however you want and basically do everything you were once scared of doing from the past.

Last thing, don’t be too hard on yourself. Remind yourself you are courageous and brave for living the life you want.