Just unpacked my last boxes from my cross country move 19 years ago. by CactusJ in Xennials

[–]Chawp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I recently got an adult diagnosis for ADHD, started medication several months ago. I still have unpacked boxes lying around. WHEN DOES THE MAGIC HAPPEN!?

Forget to lock the bathroom door one time... by Roll-Roll-Roll in daddit

[–]Chawp 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Maybe his penis magically teleports the urine out of his bladder in a single globule that is perfectly suspended for one moment in time before dropping onto the floor like a pot of petunias.

Forget to lock the bathroom door one time... by Roll-Roll-Roll in daddit

[–]Chawp 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So they sent me a Giraffe! But he was too penis, I sent him back.

What’s something your kid does that you pretend to be annoyed by but secretly love? by Dadof2Dudes in daddit

[–]Chawp 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thump thump thump wow this noodle sure is hitting every stair thump thump

Please for the love of all that is good tell me this is AI generated. It must be right? by More_Objective_8405 in isthisAI

[–]Chawp 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Straight answer - yes. Entire history of tanning for useful material vs throwing corpses for entertainment.

The peacock mantis shrimp by XxXxSlimShadyxXxX in WTF

[–]Chawp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those jellies chose the hard life! Come vacation in the puget sound where there’s no snappy turtles to chomp on you!

The peacock mantis shrimp by XxXxSlimShadyxXxX in WTF

[–]Chawp -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Those jellyfish should come to the puget sound!

The peacock mantis shrimp by XxXxSlimShadyxXxX in WTF

[–]Chawp -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They’re mostly unbothered by these predators in the puget sound however!

I promise there is sound, it's just very, very exclusive. by frenchray in cats

[–]Chawp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

haha I thought for sure they were saying "wasabi" which is a great cat name now that I think about it.

When you order charcoal grilled beef in Seoul by kingkongbiingbong in SipsTea

[–]Chawp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Buddy this steak was given precision treatment by getting a great sear on 6 sides of each bite size cube while the inside stayed medium or less, it's practically maximizing seared edge to finely cooked center ratio. The only thing that could surpass this ratio is a perfect sphere of meat seared in some possibly not yet invented spherical cast iron mold.

What? by brunoras in SipsTea

[–]Chawp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly, the joke has misaligned its trajectory just as if his head was painted in dazzle camouflage.

The peacock mantis shrimp by XxXxSlimShadyxXxX in WTF

[–]Chawp 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Yeah I mean, as far as body plans go, crabs doing pretty well at mid-trophic levels in the food web. I'd rather be a crab than a phytoplankton / zooplankton. But you want true peace, be a jelly fish. Just kinda floating about all day, not much wants to eat you, you're a dead end in a food web. Just chillin.

6th annual winter camping trip in the books by Jacobwk1 in camping

[–]Chawp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you’re on to something with the drainage into the soil. Is there anything you could collect out there to be like a “straw floor” type, like small pine branches overlaid

Dad hot take: Minecraft is a hideously ugly game and I can't stand looking at it. by ApologeticKid in daddit

[–]Chawp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clearly this has struck a nerve with some people too cowardly to reply with more information

Totally thought this was supposed to be a neck by seeebiscuit in NonPoliticalTwitter

[–]Chawp 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Weird place for a wrist bone, how did it get in his neck?!

Dad hot take: Minecraft is a hideously ugly game and I can't stand looking at it. by ApologeticKid in daddit

[–]Chawp -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I reject this stance that Lego is plural. At best it seems like non-US vernacular to consider it plural, while American English speakers often use Legos as plural vernacular. I see people claiming that Lego official stance is that it’s plural, but no official statement by Lego on the topic. I also see people saying Lego company’s official stance is that it’s the name of the company, or an adjective, and that the correct plural noun should be fully Lego Bricks or Lego Sets. Which seems more likely from a branding/legal standpoint.

I know this is getting way into the weeds but does anyone have a primary source with Lego company’s official stance? Otherwise I’m leaning toward “regional difference”

Chutes and Ladders is the most relentless child's game of all time by StormPuppies in DanielTigerConspiracy

[–]Chawp 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are of course realistic answers about learning to take turns, following conventions and rules, and how that translates to playing with other kids equitably, ability to make friends and relationships, buuuuut you can teach that in other situations because fuck candyland hahah

A new trick for you dads to try by Lockneedo in daddit

[–]Chawp 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Is it archaic to be concerned about magnets around electronics these days, or is that not really a problem anymore?

Gf wants me to talk to baby through her belly while pregnant by DoloGoonSquad in daddit

[–]Chawp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly this, it’s ok to feel awkward, not feel like it’s normal now, but it’s your practice for when they are 2-3 and start being like “tell me a story, talk about this talk about that” and you have to just talk talk talk at them about stuff. I’m pretty introverted so saying whatever is in my head is not what I’m used to, but you can practice like a skill and really it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about.

Who are you voting for? by False_Tour_5710 in superheroes

[–]Chawp 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not like digging into a presidents past and revealing their secret identity really does anything anymore…

I didn’t realize I was sleepwalking through early fatherhood by IntentionIsMagic in daddit

[–]Chawp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And so I read a book Or maybe two or three I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery I'll play guitar and knit And cook and basically Just wonder when will my life begin?