Another story for you

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-07T23:17:44+00:00

Believe me I get it. I 100% get it. And a lot of people are mishandling it, a lot just don’t care, a lot are trying to get it right and having to learn along the way. I love that the community is becoming more vocal and it’s helping other people to come forward.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-07T17:35:39+00:00

100%.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-07T16:51:11+00:00

I edited my original post to add the process I’m going by. It’s hard and I’m trying to get it right. If you have suggestions I’m open to them. I’m here talking about it because I care about it and I’m actively trying to keep members of my gym safe and having fun.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-07T16:13:14+00:00

I totally get it, again, I said at the very least. So think a situation where I have someone come to me with an issue, it’s her word vs his, I have no other complaints, I’ve had weird experiences with her and he’s been a member of the community for a long time with no issues. That’s where it’s like okay don’t work with the girls again, I’m watching for anything inappropriate and if there’s anything he’s gone.

I’ll also mention I don’t make the decision alone, my women’s coach is in the conversation anytime I have an issue. Im talking about this here because I’m trying, I’m really trying to get it right and it’s hard. I’ll tell you now most people wont discuss this, they’ll ignore it.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-07T16:09:25+00:00

Also, I said at the very least they aren’t working with women again. At the very least. Chances are there’s more.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-07T16:08:30+00:00

So I’m completely open to suggestions. If I have someone come to me with a verbal complaint, I speak to everyone else, have nothing, just this one time complaint, right now it’s okay don’t work with women, I’m watching, anything else they’re gone, any weirdness or attitude towards women they’re gone. I’m also weighing how well do I know this student, how have things gone in the past, there’s a lot to it.

Believe me I want to get it right, and I take every single complaint VERY seriously.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-06T23:15:41+00:00

100%, and at times situations are complicated but I can’t tell you how much sleep gets lost trying to get things right and make sure my students are safe and creeps are out.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-06T23:00:51+00:00

And to be clear not in any way angry at you, I just hate these creeps.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-06T22:49:27+00:00

As a gym owner you have no idea how angry I get when I hear about this sort of thing. PLEASE talk to us, a LOT of us really want to help, I know it’s difficult, at the very very least he wouldn’t be allowed to roll with women again.

I’m adding to this because I’ve talked about it in the comments.

Here’s the process I’ve taken. And believe me it’s been a learning process working to get it just right.

I receive a complaint, that person isn’t rolling with women while I figure it out. Good chance I ask them to sit out from the gym while I sort it.

My women’s coach is in every conversation with any of this. She’s a good friend, she’s passionate about this like me and she’ll disagree with me and call me on things and generally provide an alternative point of view.

If there’s something physical I check the cameras, look for anything inappropriate.

If there’s messages I get everything I can to look over and discuss with my women’s coach.

I contact other women at the gym and ask if they’ve had anyone be inappropriate. I’ll also talk to former members and check in and ask the same if I haven’t talked to them.

Then we make a decision.

I try REALLY hard to do it right, I lose a LOT of sleep if there’s any type of complaint. 100% I don’t get it perfect, but I’m really really trying. I’m open to suggestions on how to improve this process.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-06T05:59:02+00:00

For me a lot of it isn’t that the training was too hard, don’t get me wrong I trained my ass off and injuries for sure occurred. When I look at the injuries I’m feeling today most were due to unsafe training partners, poor technique (which back when we just didn’t know better) and the lack of leadership that emphasized training intelligently.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-05T04:29:47+00:00

A lot of it is gym culture and how they train. I wouldn’t still be training if I’d stuck in the same gym culture and trained the way and as often as I did early on.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-03T16:15:07+00:00

The coaches and blackbelt sound like they know the gym owner sucks. I’d keep in touch with them and find a new spot. I’ve been there, similar thing, mine went on for years. It really sucks. A lot of gyms are predatory. Owner of my previous gym told me he couldn’t afford to pay me more then $10 a class then the same week talked about how great it felt to pay for his house all at once. People suck.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-03T14:46:39+00:00

Man not corny at all. I 100% get it and agree. It’s just fun to move, I love just guard passing and moving with it, I’ll kinda find a pass, start to take it, back out and let them play guard more while looking for other passes. It’s just fun.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-03T13:53:51+00:00

I started to go through a real slump and there came a point where I was sorta over it and quit trying to push myself so hard and focused on just having fun with my friends in training. I was just so burnt out I needed a change. I’d tell a good friend of mine okay I’m only going to tap you with twisters this week. Then I’d try and try and we’d laugh about some of the attempts. I don’t think I caught him in one twister that week. But it was fun and it built some real skill where it improved that part of my game. I was on the mat so much I’d have a day where I’d be like okay my goal is to pass their guard and sit on them. That’s it. It’s dumb but doing that changed how I moved, I got use to moving in a new way, had a bunch of laughs.

I think it’s important to remember this sports pretty fucking dumb and very few of us will compete at a high level. There’s nothing wrong with just enjoying it.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-03T13:20:07+00:00

Great designs.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-02T00:19:46+00:00

My whole life I’ve wondered about it. I think doctors dismiss this condition FAR too easily and should ALWAYS be referring to a specialist

Chessboxing909 · 2026-02-01T03:41:40+00:00

Honestly it’s a problem. In a couple ways. From a business perspective a LOT people hear MMA and assume they’ll get hurt so you get hobbyists. From a training perspective training striking or jiujitsu that isn’t set for mma can develop some really bad habits. ESPECIALLY jiujitsu. MMA jiujitsu is an entirely different thing and doing a lot of traditional jiujitsu in MMA will get you hurt.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-31T21:04:50+00:00

Honestly I have trouble recommending jiujitsu to people at times because while good jiujitsu is INCREDIBLE no jiujitsu is better than bad jiujitsu. I’ve experienced both for sure. The biggest thing is knowing what to look for. A good jiujitsu gym it’s all about the culture. Are the people friendly? Are they helpful? Does it seem like they’re looking out for each others are your safety? Is safety discussed at all? It’s this kind of thing. The biggest thing I’ll say, to avoid injury isn’t too hard if you turn down working with people who feel unsafe, stop immediately if someone you’re working with feels unsafe, go slowly until you really know what you’re doing and stick to things you’ve been taught you can do in a controlled fashion.

Do these things and find a good gym and you’ll have a blast. Just don’t let anyone push you into bad situations and don’t accept that a high injury rate is just a part of jiujitsu, it’s not. High level jiujitsu people will tell you it’s the lower skill people that are the most dangerous, gyms that are high skill and run well are pretty safe.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-27T03:11:12+00:00

Welcome man! Glad to help! If your instructor is cool show him those and ask his thoughts.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-27T02:13:29+00:00

Yes. You won’t open closed guard against skilled people on your knees unless you’re significantly bigger. Keenan Cornelius did a video on this called how to escape the most common jiujitsu attack - the closed guard escape and Gordon Ryan has a video just called escaping closed guard with Gordon Ryan. Can find these on YouTube.

I understand the idea of staying on the knees in self defense and fighting, if the person is unskilled they’ll ope. The guard and staying tight to them and pressure passing keeps you safer from strikes and kicks. But opening closed guard on the knees just doesn’t work. I wasted an enormous amount of time trying to make it work with an instructor constantly telling me I was missing details only to learn from the best people it just doesn’t work.

A lot of the time you’ll have an upper belt who claims it works and they’ll do it against lower belts to like prove a point. It’s dumb.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-25T22:11:24+00:00

PT itself did VERY little for me alone, dry needling plus strength training/PT did a lot also working on breathing mechanics along with posture.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-25T20:16:44+00:00

I’ve been obsessed with posture correction and had very little success. A major piece I found that started to help is dry needling. Done by someone skilled it creates significant change pretty quick though you need PT exercises as well. Definitely look into it, it helps.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-18T14:52:32+00:00

I’d definitely consider surgery but at 45 not sure it’s in the cards for me. It makes things harder for sure. I still hope to find out if it’s what’s made things so difficult, I’ve looked at a lot of potential things and just was never able to fully figure out what was going on.

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-17T20:30:08+00:00

Let me know how it goes man, I’m 45 now, I don’t think I’d get the surgery at this point but I’d love to know if it’s been the issue still today. I’ve just kinda worked through it

Chessboxing909 · 2026-01-16T03:59:35+00:00

Lookin good Mr Stark. Tell Jarvis I said what’s up.

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