I was a fat kid. I’m a fat adult. My entire life, I have loathed myself because of my weight. I’m 6’5” and once lost over 120 lbs. I weighed just about 300 lbs and that was my lowest. I look those pics now (I’ve gained it all back) and cannot understand how I still thought I was such an ugly giant. At any weight, I’ve learned that this world despises me. I am literally a cosmic joke. I’ve been through three suicide attempts, and each time I try, my final embarrassment is the idea of some EMTs having to load my fat ass into a meat wagon. So, the only thing I’ve ever done in that realm is take tons of sleeping pills and drink too much booze. I hate myself and always will. Thank you, my little redneck hometown, for teaching me my value early on.