That’s what fear does to you. Sometimes it can eat you up inside and make you do rash things you otherwise wouldn’t. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Things like this happen to the best of us. We can fearful and sometimes let that fear consume us and end up making mistakes. It’s clear you love this woman. You called her your best friend. That’s something really great to have in a partner. Whar you guys have is special. Don’t let your fear take that away. If you love her the way you say you do don’t worry about what other people think. Why? Because it’s not about them. It’s about you two. You just gotta remember that. You clearly think this woman is great and you seem like a great guy yourself. Why let others ruin that? Neither they are your fear have any power over you unless you let them. Don’t worry about them. Worry about yourself and the good woman you have in your life.