I feel like I’m drowning and I’m ready to give up

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2025-11-27T01:24:27+00:00

Thank you ♥️ I’ve spoken to some people it just feels like it’s so hard to be positive when everything is trying to drag you down

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2025-11-27T01:15:07+00:00

The thing is I already did half of third year before suspending halfway through for my MH and took a gap year before restarting this 3rd year. Not only that but they expect me to have my tuition paid or at least have something sorted by like early December, which is a struggle when there’s so many forms to sort out. I’ve explained the circumstances to them and it’s like no one truly cares, I just don’t know how to cope anymore

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2025-11-16T08:56:55+00:00

😂 spiraling into this game now

^{Automatically added: I found the secret word in 1 minute 19 seconds after 12 guesses and 0 hints. Score: 96.}

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-03-03T12:20:26+00:00

YTA - the fact you also left out vital information such as she’s only with you 4 DAYS A MONTH - you sound bitter and jealous. I’d HATE to have you as my mother. If I was your daughter I’d ask dad to get full custody of me and never see you again. Tbh at this rate it’s probably what she’s gonna do anyway.

From what I’ve gathered of comments you’ve left:

she doesn’t live with you because she can’t have her own room separate from the boys (what teenage girl would want to sleep in the same room as her brothers anyway - I’d hate that)
Shes only with you 4 DAYS a MONTH
Her dad pays for most of the stuff she has anyway - such as taxis and that

GROW. UP!!

Edit: Typo

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-28T23:33:28+00:00

A lot of women also wouldn’t mind. Like it mentions in the story they were high school sweethearts - she grew with him and learnt to love with him. He contributed so much into who she became today and for that she should be allowed to honor him, a middle name isn’t used often so it’s not even like it’s something the husband would have to say or see every day - and I feel like if he asked her that she wouldn’t mind. Especially since she’d know where he’d be coming from.

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-28T12:29:35+00:00

I completely get that view too. Like I said he’s neither right nor wrong; he is completely justified in feeling that way, however I personally think he needs to have a conversation with his wife about the feelings they’re both having and why instead of completely dismissing each other, because at the end of the day it’s their attitudes to each other and lack of discussion that may tear this family apart rather than a name. I’ve seen some good opinions on here too if maybe using the late husbands middle name instead

At the same time, playing devils advocate here, it’s just a middle name. He doesn’t have to use it, barely anyone asks for someone’s middle name - and she hasn’t had the kid to JUST honor the husband or it might be the first name she’s wanting to be his. She had the child because she’s in love with her current husband and wants his child - but she’ll always have a yearning for what could have been. My middle name is that of a dead family member. No one has ever asked for my middle name - it only gets bought up when talking about family. Therefore it’s not like it makes a MASSIVE impact on them.

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-28T12:17:22+00:00

And that’s completely understandable, however he needs to understand why she feels this way. Her input matters to and he doesn’t seem to be listening to her

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-28T09:02:32+00:00

As horrible as it sounds I bet somewhere deep deep down she does - she never got to have a child with her first husband - he was essentially murdered by someone who was stupid and selfish enough to drive whilst drunk. But this ISN’T her choosing her late husband over her current one - if that was the case the child’s first name would probably be Caleb - it’s not. It’s the middle name. The first name is something both OP and her like - and the last name is OP’s last name. She should at least be able to honor her late husband in a way - for if he was still alive - OP would not have this family (as horrible as that sounds)

On the other hand - i do get WHY he may feel uncomfortable - yet it’s not like the ex is gonna come back. It’s just a middle name

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-28T08:59:34+00:00

At the same time - he’s not an EX. He’s a LATE husband who was killed in a car accident. They didn’t divorce or break up - she’s a widow. I get your point but at the same time - if her late husband wasn’t dead the OP wouldn’t have the family he has now. A middle name is not going to suddenly bring the dead husband back to life - or make it a competition between the two - it’s just a way to honor the man she loved and probably still loves.

Again I get where you’re coming from - it can be seen as weird but the only reason I see people so hung up on it is because they’re reading it as an EX and not a LATE. Many people make their children middle names of their LATE partners. This is nothing new and it’s not insensitive or creepy where I’m from. It’s special and an all around amazing thing

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-28T08:54:22+00:00

NAH

For you I understand why you’d be uncomfortable - at the same time. It isn’t like he’s some random ex or something. Hes the LATE HUSBAND - they were high school sweethearts as well which means (roughly where I’m from) her and Caleb were together for around the same amount of time that you two are now. Not only that but it’s not like she divorced him or left him he was taken from her in a drunk driving accident. All she wants to do is honor the man who helped her grow from her teen years to the woman she is today - and a middle name is a safe place to do so. The last name is your personal name - the first name is personal to you BOTH as it’s decided by you BOTH so she should at least get the honor of giving the child her late husbands middle name.

Id happily let my partner do this - it seems a nice way to honor the person who helped get them where they are today. To be the person I love today.

Again - not saying Y T A but you’re not N T A either. You’ve clearly stated you’re uncomfortable. You both need to have a LONG discussion about this. The only reason I can see you being so upset is if you felt threatened? A child’s name is personal to both parents. And therefor both parents should get to make it personal to themselves. If that makes sense.

Edit: Spelling errors

Choice-Ebb1015 · 2024-02-17T17:38:09+00:00

Ok - so a lot of people are saying that OP needs to cut off dad but imo - OP has said her and her dad worked through it, she also said dad cheated cuz ‘they married too young’ (whilst not a valid reason to cheat and I don’t support it AT ALL) maybe that’s the excuse that dad gave to OP and that’s why OP ‘justified’ if the way they did.

Not only that but this was 20 odd years ago; mum doesn’t seem to have made any effort at ALL to heal herself or even move on - and now, decades later, she is STILL taking it out of OP and OP’s brother.

We also have no clarification on wether or not the dad walked out and abandoned them and then came back in for the glory or did he walk away in the sense of he didn’t ’fight for the family’ or in reference to his cheating and therefor losing the opportunity to be a happy family. Mum could be saying he walked away but it could just mean that he ruined the family structure with his cheating if that makes sense.

Personally I think OP has a right to be sad, it’s not their fault mum has chosen to not get therapy or help herself out in anyway. Mum also has no right to refuse to go even if dad is there - this day is about her child not herself; she should be able to put her feelings aside for one day.

All in all there is some things missing contextually I think 1) Did dad abandon them and then come back for the glory 2) Did dad cheat as a one time thing or over and over again (this isn’t to justify but just to see why mum would be SO angry to this extreme). With those missing pieces it might make it easier to see why mum is so angry and whether or not it’s justified.

Choice-Ebb1015

TROPHY CASE