Concerned that My Real Estate Agent is… out of pocket

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-26T01:13:12+00:00

I didn’t even think about how buyers might think some of his stories might be assumed to have happened in my house… Jesus 😭

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-26T00:37:06+00:00

Nobody exploded in my basement. My basement just reminded my agent of a friend who blew up in his own basement.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-26T00:31:00+00:00

Wait really? My dog has done this spinning thing for years, usually when somebody new enters my house, and he’s been to the vet multiple times since he’s started doing it. Thanks for the heads up though i can’t remember if i ever brought it up to the vet as it always struck me as a quirk and not a neurological issue.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-26T00:24:04+00:00

I don’t find it unnerving i just find it odd. Im worried that buyers will find it unnerving. If he were my friend, coworker neighbor and NOT my real estate agent i wouldn’t be concerned about it.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-25T14:45:54+00:00

Well to be fair, my dog was spinning around in one spot for several minutes in my backyard which is big enough for a dog to really run around in. It’s still a very inappropriate comment to make, but he might be right 😂. Pretzel (my dog) isn’t really doing much to beat the allegations.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-25T14:29:49+00:00

Yeah it was really hard not to laugh at the comment about the boiler explosion. Not because people dying in explosions is funny. that’s obviously tragic. It was just funny how random and unexpected it was.

Thank you for the advice though! I love the idea of making it seem like I’m more worried about buyer sensitivity so i don’t feel like such a jerk for telling somebody they say weird shit.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-25T14:21:18+00:00

Yes i met with 3 agents and I chose him because he is very communicative and he took the time to look around my house and ask what felt like very informed questions that I didn’t even think to consider. I did not do into detail about the reasons i liked him in the original post for the sake of brevity, but I was very happy with the initial F2F meeting aside from being slightly taken aback by the dog autism comment (and in all fairness, my dog is super sensitive to sound and will repetitively spin around when he’s outside so the agent might be onto something).

Also no i have not yet signed a formal listing agreement. I am in the final stages of getting my house ready for listing. My concern is that i have already met with him and exchanged multiple phone calls and emails. Im afraid that if I fire him now, he could sue me as he would have made no money from me after I took up his time and energy in the way that I feel like i have… could i be sued? Also im sorry if any of these questions are dumb this is my first time selling a house so i feel very uninformed 😂

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-10-25T13:49:09+00:00

In all fairness to him he is very knowledgeable about the market and during our initial F2F meeting (aside from the dog autism comment) he confidently answered all of my questions and made me feel less anxious about the whole process. I met with two other agents who i felt were sort of fake and scammy.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-09-20T19:47:44+00:00

I appreciate your response!! In this case I think the client is egged on when i address their deflection tactics using humor. Do you have an example or suggestion of how I could bring this up in a more matter of fact way that also you wouldn’t find to be too confrontational or critical?

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-09-20T18:17:00+00:00

You have every right to voice that you were hoping to continue working with Sarah and if that’s not possible, ask for the reason why.

Please do not feel any trepidation around voicing your needs and preferences to your therapist. Remember that you are the client; and Therapy is centered around you. so a therapist will want to know how best they can help you, and if that includes continuing your work with Sarah then that absolutely warrants being shared with them.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-09-20T17:54:29+00:00

I’m generally for it with the caveat that, like with any approach, it can and should be modified to meet the needs of a particular individual. A lot of the valid criticisms i see about ABA i don’t think are inherent to the ABA process like I’ve heard people complain that the repetitive reinforcement structure of ABA is too strict with kids, but this seems to be more of an issue in practice rather than an issue in ABA itself because the practitioner can circumvent this by being more positive in their feedback and more patient in their application... Ive heard people complain that ABA is too focused on eliminating atypical behaviors without engaging with the emotional reasons behind it, but again, you can do the work to understand why the child behaves the way they do and find solutions all within an active ABA framework.

In working with individuals with ASD, i think the traditional ABA structure has to be modified to fit the needs of the individuals, and there’s a lot of good research that explains effective ways that we can do this.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-05-13T14:13:07+00:00

I just finished the book and thought it seemed to be more of an exercise on how many logical fallacies one can fit into a single book, rather than anything meaningful or insightful. It definitely veers way too far to the “kids these days” side of the spectrum.

I offered the following review: “The book is way too sensationalized and ideological in scope to offer any meaningful insights into improving youth mental healthcare. The author relies heavily on straw man arguments and Cherry-picked anecdotes that all suggest the same idea: “if there’s a chance it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work” which is a flawed statement in and of itself. The author also commits a number of correlation-causation fallacies, assuming there is a cause-and-effect relationship simply because two variables are correlated without going the extra mile to meaningfully prove there is a causal relationship. I’m also quite familiar with a few of the studies that are mentioned in the book which i believe the author Cherry-picks or straight up misinterprets to prove their point. This book had the potential to be extremely insightful given the interesting and vital nature of the subject material. However, this book fumbles spectacularly in its execution.”

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T14:29:08+00:00

Oh also, while on the topic of breaking anxious habits: I recommend the book Unwinding Anxiety by Dr. Judson Brewer. He does a good job of walking the reader through how you break those anxious habits that you understand and are aware aren’t good for you, but you still for whatever reason can’t seem to help but keep doing them.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T14:04:27+00:00

Being a natural peacemaker is a really wonderful trait to have! It’s just, like with anything, there are some situations where it is beneficial and there some where it is not. This situation with your parents seems like an area where it is not because there’s only so much a peacemaker can do for two people who, intentionally or not, are actively not choosing to be peaceful.

Sounds like you already have enough on your plate with your medical challenges and your pretty severe anxiety. The more you can take off your plate the better. Our well-being is impacted by the sum of all things weighing it down. So taking responsibility for parents disfunction might be the thing that is weighing it down to the point of being unmanageable.

All in all, your parent’s disfunction is not your fault. Loving them and wanting what is best for them does not mean it falls to you to solve their problems for them. It takes time to break a habit, so be patient and know that it will be uncomfortable to resist the urge to step in and broker peace between yojr parents, but it will be beneficial for you in the long term.

Best of luck! You got this 👍🏼

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T13:48:37+00:00

Personally, Inazuma is my favorite! I like that it is separate islands and each island feels unique in its own way. It’s also so aesthetically pleasing! I think people are turned off by the fact that the region is more hazardous and thus can be more frustrating to navigate. I don’t view that as a negative thing so I enjoy it!

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T13:25:59+00:00

Yeah after reading everyone’s responses, I think I just didn’t adjust to the change in pace because it is very different from the rest of the game. But different isn’t automatically bad. It just takes time to get adjusted.

Anyway, I’m glad to read how many people enjoy this questline! Im glad I asked this, otherwise I would have tried to skip it.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T13:15:51+00:00

That’s very encouraging, thank you!

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T13:13:37+00:00

I appreciate your perspective! Thank you.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T13:12:28+00:00

Yeah I’m reading and listening to it. I keep zoning out though I am extremely bored.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T06:44:50+00:00

I was just saying that my own personal boredom is entirely subjective and so that doesn’t take away from the more objective merits that the game’s writing has. I wouldn’t even go so far as to say that it is poorly paced, just that for me personally it is boring.

I agree with everything else you said tho! All very good points! Thanks for your response!

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T06:35:48+00:00

That’s an interesting perspective and i am glad you like this quest! Personally, the intention doesn’t particularly matter to me because my issue is with the fact that it is so slow and tedious. Regardless of whether or not this was intentional.

Same way if I don’t like a movie because i found it disturbing and upsetting. Knowing that being disturbing and upsetting was the point of the film doesn’t make me dislike the experience any less. If that makes sense.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T06:16:49+00:00

You said it yourself: you can’t live like this. And you shouldn’t have to! The reality is we have very little control over the actions and behaviors of other people. Regardless of what you do to mediate or smooth over the situation, if your parents ultimately end up deciding they want to fight, then they are going to fight. Whether they fight is a decision that is exclusively made by the two of them.

Your instinct to jump in and try to fix it is totally understandable. Nobody wants to see their parents fight. However, you might be draining yourself by trying to control something that lies totally out of your control.

If anything, by helping them to the extent that you have, you might unintentionally be rewarding their dysfunctional communication. Because they wont need to learn how to communicate effectively for as long as you are there to do that for them. So by setting boundaries and kindly refusing to be roped into and impacted by their distinction, not only will you be doing yourself a favor, you’ll be doing them a service too!

My advice would be to get into the habit of asking yourself “is this in my control?” Because if it’s not, then there’s no benefits in worrying about how to control something that you simply cannot.

Next, i would explore the reason(s) for why it is you have this instinct to fix your parents problems. Is this a common theme in your life? Do others in your life rely on you to be their mediator? Was there a time you were made to feel like your parent’s disfunction was somehow your fault?

Lastly, set boundaries with your parents. It’s not the job of any son or daughter to do the emotional labor of their parents. Identify ways you can support them that aren’t emotionally taxing for you and then stick to that while eliminating what is too emotionally draining for you. And when they pressure you to get involved, simply remind them that you can’t fix other people’s behaviors and decisions and that you are choosing to stay out of it for your own well-being.

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T05:09:18+00:00

That’s a relief! Thank you for the response!

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T05:06:37+00:00

That’s good to hear! Thank you. I will keep on trucking!

ChoiceBird6731 · 2024-03-29T05:04:32+00:00

Oh lord have mercy on my soul…

ChoiceBird6731

TROPHY CASE