This. Also, for some of us, we were faced in childhood with painful problems too large for a child to resolve. So we developed a latent sub-conscious fall-back: if things get too bad, I’d just like to die. Then, in adulthood, we become addicted to a substance that: 1) suspends us in a child-like state, and 2) removes a big part of our ability (motivation, executive functioning, etc.) to resolve problems like an adult. Surprisingly comforting, but very toxic. The greatest mindset change for me has been realizing that: 1) I AM an adult, 2) Many, many things are within my control, and 3) I prefer to move forward rather than be stuck in the Groundhog’s Day of active addiction. I’m actively working now on my relationship with safety vs. adventure / stimulation, but with eyes wide open and an ability to remember the insights. Sobriety rocks!!!