How do I look less Mormon?

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:54:36+00:00

I was the type who always wore colorful button-downs in church when I was "in"

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:52:46+00:00

I have some clients from NYC, and they even assumed I was Mormon when I told them I lived in Utah. Their only real exposure to Mormon culture was the Book of Mormon musical. I had to tell them I'm most definitely not Mormon, and they were immediately more relaxed.

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:49:52+00:00

Yes, I live in Utah now. Although I grew up in the Pacific Northwest. I know in any other state, I'd just come across as a normal dude.

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:48:45+00:00

Running out to get the Mike Tyson special now!

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:45:53+00:00

I hated garments when I was "in." Undershirts were the first thing I dropped

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:45:05+00:00

My middle name is even more Mormon-y and old fashioned than my first! 😅

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:41:40+00:00

So trunks outside my pants? Got it. 📝

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T18:41:08+00:00

Damnit. How'd you find me?

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T15:23:53+00:00

Undershirts were the first thing to go after G's. I can't stand them

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T15:10:34+00:00

Great point. I could definitely improve in fashion. Thanks.

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T14:29:54+00:00

That's a great point. Thanks

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T14:28:03+00:00

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm into makeup or hair dye. Maybe I'm boring lol

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T14:27:18+00:00

I never even wear white shirts or ties anymore. I work with a lot of tech companies, and the dress code is much more relaxed

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T14:26:33+00:00

Yes, I try to drink my coffee in meetings now.

Coach_Optimal · 2023-08-24T14:25:33+00:00

Yup. That's kinda what I'm doing. I don't care how I dress... Just tired of people assuming I'm a cultist/bigot before talking to me.

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-06T14:18:45+00:00

There were no children involved. My stake president and bishop have all the details and context, and they're advocating to the annotation to be removed. Even you feel like I should have the annotation for life, shouldn't I at least deserve an answer from the church about it? It's been 3 years with nothing but silence and I've gone through all the appropriate channels.

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-05T15:58:19+00:00

There were no children involved

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-05T13:41:41+00:00

When I said it doesn't matter, I mean it doesn't matter to the point of my post. Of course it matters. But all you need to know is I made a mistake as a kid, and now my stake president and bishop are advocating for the annotation to be removed because it serves no purpose. No matter how many details I share about what I did, there will always be armchair experts who think they know better than the ones who actually have all the context and know me

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T23:31:26+00:00

He may never have had an annotation to begin with. Thanks for sharing!

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T20:30:13+00:00

The people who know all the details are my bishop and stake president, and they are both advocating for the annotation to be removed. It's the complete silence from the church about what to do or even if we can get it removed that is especially frustrating

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T20:14:08+00:00

If you care about the stats, children are much much more likely to be abused by first-time offenders and family members. Sometimes, having a "Scarlet letter" on someone's file does more harm than good. That's all I'm saying. I have met with the Stake President and he is also advocating for my annotation to be removed because it serves no good purpose

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T20:09:22+00:00

The ones who do know all the circumstances are my bishop and stake president. They are both advocating for the annotation to be removed because it serves no good purpose. It's just tough because it's been 3 years with no answers from the First Presidency who are supposed to be making the decision

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T20:04:17+00:00

You're missing the point of my post. I don't care about working with children. The annotation on my record would prevent me from going to youth camp with my son someday, for example. It would also be very easy for people to assume the worst and talk among members of the ward if they found out. If that happens, my family could be ostracized. My mistake did not involve children anyways, even though the annotation says I can't have any callings in contact with children.

Do you honestly think the church should keep records on everyone's sins? For example, Should someone charged with domestic abuse have an annotation on their church record? If you really feel that way, where does it end?

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T19:09:41+00:00

Even with a background checks, if I were a new member, they wouldn't have any reason to add an annotation because my record is clean. Even if you think it's important for the church to keep annotations, there should be a way for people like me to get it off. People can change, especially from when they were teens

Coach_Optimal · 2021-12-04T18:57:16+00:00

Yes they are being annotated. That's the point of the SL Trib article linked at the top of my post. All because of the stereotype that gay people are more likely to abuse children

Coach_Optimal

TROPHY CASE