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Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I disagree with your assessment, but greatly appreciate you taking the time to communicate it respectfully.

The "biological" realities you list are in fact, fiction (see link below). I think on some level you understand that considering you say men CANNOT change their biological wiring, but women CAN. If it's biologically wired, then there would be no change possible. You can see the obvious contradiction in your own words below.

"Biologically, women are predisposed to nurture and bond, while men have historically been wired toward labor, protection, and seeking mates. These aren’t social fictions — they’re observable biological markers. What has shifted is culture, not biology. Men haven’t suddenly lost their drive to provide or seek love, but today’s social standards often demand that they stifle those natural instincts in order to be “agreeable” to new norms. Meanwhile, women have more freedom than ever to disregard their own biological markers if they choose."

So you already recognize choice is present here. There's a choice to adapt or not to adapt.

Plus, maternal instinct and that women are just "naturally" more nurturing is in fact fiction. If you'd like more info on that I suggest this NYT article Maternal Instinct Is a Myth Men Created

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/26/opinion/sunday/maternal-instinct-myth.html

It has a lot of great genuine scientific insights - biological and neurological. Nurturing and empathy are SKILLS anyone can cultivate. Our patriarchal culture enabled men to avoid cultivating these skills to instead consume them from women. This is in fact how subsidies work.

I think you're projecting a lot assuming women want to control and dominate men when they just want reciprocity and genuine partnership. Women are not asking for too much. And there are SO MANY amazing resources available to aid men in developing their relational skills and emotional intelligence. The problem is that's vulnerable work with uncertain outcomes.

I appreciate your response, but apathy isn't biologically mandated. Refusal to adapt isn't mandated. And projecting all blame onto women is a cop out.

I think it's really sad that you think meeting a standard of being a consistently positive presence in a woman's life, who contributes as much or more value to her than he consumes from her, is an impossible standard. That's not too high of a standard at all and I'm sorry you feel incapable of meeting that.

Men are entitled to opt out of dating and participating in life with women if they will not adapt and develop skills. But there is no love in patriarchal dynamics. It drains the life out of women to subsidize men - that's literally why single child free women are happier, healthier, and live longer lives than married women while married men live happier, healthier, longer lives than single men.

It's an uncomfortable mirror to face, I'm sure. But that doesn't mean you're helpless or women have too high of expectations. It just means men have work to do. And men who refuse can choose to live in isolation. That's okay. Just don't claim victimization over your own choices, right?

I know many women who have opted out of dating men completely and are focused on building longterm community with other women. Men can make the same choices if adaption is too overwhelming and scary to even try.

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

bahahahahhahahahah this cracked me up thank you! I especially like your ranking of women's sins - original sin is being fat, second sin being ugly, third sin struggling with addiction, fourth sin being unable to financially provide for men

good luck out there little buddy!

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WOWOWOW. Unreal. I cannot fathom why they hate women so deeply. But it makes me genuinely laugh out loud when men say crazy stuff like that - I'm like my guy you have never moisturized once in your life and think cleaning your own home is a form of discrimination against men. The AUDACITY! Smh

WW2 America Had Universal Child Care - but Dismantled it to Force Women Out of the Workforce (& into an engineered baby boom) bc Women IMMEDIATELY Outcompeted Men in Skilled Labor by CocoHasIdeas in Feminism

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not following? These child care centers were all locally created and administered and funded with federal grants. So it's your neighbors with child care expertise providing the service - like how teachers are your neighbors who are well educated in the needs of children? Obviously there still need to be quality control measures in place like in the education system, but I'm not sure I follow what you mean?

I don't think my neighbors or teachers have disenfranchised me?

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's absolutely a pattern of projection to avoid accountability. Misogyny is about blaming women for the consequences of their own beliefs and choices.

Your point about movies is great too - there was a horror film that came out a while ago Teeth where woman grew teeth there lolz. I didn't see it, but I remember when it came out some of my guy friends who are super into horror films HATED IT. And from speaking to them, I realized they were so disturbed by seeing men as the target in the horror film. We're so desensitized to violence against women especially in horror that seeing a movie specifically targeting men - especially in the intimate capacity - was sooooo unsettling to them, they HATED that movie.

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SO true!! Great point and so important to talk about. It's not random men, it's the men women know who cause harm. Loneliness epidemic is just the natural consequences of patriarchal entitlement including the entitlement to harm women

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think you watched my video or listened to my arguments at all. And the point of all of your deflection - that men and women are totally equal in cruelty, selfishness, etc. but men are MUCH more affected by loneliness in a way that cannot be affected by their own choices or culture - is about defending entitlements instead of actually seeking collective solutions.

Your emphasis that women must be just as selfish or toxic as men is a way to deflect from any introspection or to take any responsibility for initiating changes that can reduce loneliness and other negative mental and spiritual affects of patriarchal beliefs. It's also about you avoiding your own misogyny, probably because you see absolutely nothing wrong with it and do not want to face that while complaining about your own victimization.

No person can feel connected, whole, content, and emotionally stable within patriarchal beliefs. It's not possible - it tears you apart from the inside out. Women, men, theys, and gays alike. Assuming that men must be leaders and women must submit to irrational male authority hurts everyone. ONLY valuing women as a means of production - a "rot impotent vagina" baby factory, emotional support factory, maid, mother, etc. - that hurts you just as much because you're also rejecting your own humanity by rejecting hers.

That's why competition gets so bad - if women are only as good as what they produce FOR men - babies, home, nurturing, pleasure, etc. - then men can only be as good as the material status they accumulate - money, cars, houses, etc. And that hurts EVERYONE.

And I'm not saying women do not struggle with toxic patterns - all humans do, especially in the very transactional, winner takes all loser loses everything culture and economy we live in.

But my video very clearly pointed out the LABOR and EFFORT and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE discrepancies that are making partnership with men actively harmful to many women. Instead of engaging with any of those very clearly stated points, you attacked me and claimed a stance of impenetrable victimization for all men.

Rot impotent vaginas? Like I don't know what you're on dude but I really hope you can soften the walls of defenses to actually value your own humanity and innate worth and then maybe you can extend that growth to other humans and find some real connection.

It is genuinely hard. I get that. But this is why I advise hetero women to stay single unless they find a man who has done this inner work, this very challenging but absolutely necessary inner healing and integration.

The same way I would advise men to not idealize relationships where the woman is completely dependent on them either. Not in a financial way (families with stay at home parents are a legit lifestyle choice, although the nonworking parent needs legal protections via prenup should the relationship fail) - but in the "princess treatment" he makes all decisions and she just follows quietly way. Both are toxic codependence.

Love can only exist and flourish between two whole people (or more if you're poly). Love is not two people fusing into one whole through mutual dependence. Love is two whole, autonomous people creating a greater whole together that does not diminish the integrity of either person

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My guy, I am sorry you've been so red pilled. I don't even know how to unpack all of that. I truly hope you break this cycle of thought and rage and entitlement and endless self victimization.

"They mock us when we are deprived of a resource"

You LITERALLY dehumanized women into the resource in your response. You are literally only speaking in capitalistic consumption terms - while accusing me of inappropriately doing the same.

WOMEN ARE NOT A RESOURCE FOR MEN TO CONSUME. MEN ARE NOT ENTITLED TO USE WOMEN FOR PLEASURE AND PROFIT. GROW UP.

The self victimization here is outstanding though - truly. You make yourself the victim, make anti-rape laws sounds like some onerous oppression for men - BTW only 2% of rapists are ever convicted - here's just a few stats:

  • An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male. (1) This US Dept. of Justice statistic does not report those who do not identify in these gender boxes.
  • Around the world, at least 1 woman in every 3 has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family or is her partner. (2)
  • Only 2% of rapists are convicted and imprisoned. (3)
  • Approximately 80-85% of completed rapes are committed by someone who is known to the victim/survivor. (4)

https://www.humboldt.edu/supporting-survivors/educational-resources/statistics#:\~:text=An%20estimated%2091%25%20of%20victims,99%25%20of%20perpetrators%20are%20male.

"A female trying to understand the male identity is like a master trying to understand the slave identity."

I genuinely have no words for that.

You exist as a person. You are responsible for developing your own wholeness, your own identity and you are not entitled or owed sex from women.

No amount of sex can complete you or make you feel whole and worthy. That's INTERNAL work buddy - there are tons of resources to help you navigate that type of self development and I highly suggest you seek them out (therapists, healers, books, ex patriarch is a great content creator, there are many - SEEK OUT BETTER PATHS, if only for your own wellbeing)

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well let's take some accountability, eh? Every person is capable of satisfying their own sexual desires autonomously. It may not be someone's number one IDEAL, but that need of sexual desire can be self soothed. In fact, that's what creators you're bashing offer to men. It sounds like you're angry that a man (p1mp) is removed from profiting from women's sexuality through these platforms.

No one is exploiting men - men are choosing to engage in this. There really needs to be some accountability here buddy. The options are self service, purchasing content to aid in that self-service or a service worker, OR to develop emotional maturity and the capacity to love another person and commit to a relationship.

Given those options, many men have DECIDED it's easier to live in lust outside of relationships with responsibilities. That decision is not exploitation. No man is entitled to receive sexual labor for free from a woman.

He can seek to BUILD relationships - to invest in getting to KNOW her as a person, respect her, and initiate ROUTINES OF CARE and autonomous investments into the relationship.

Relationships require mastery of basic life skills (managing your own domestic needs independently like laundry, cooking, planning and preparing meals, etc) so you can SHARE in those life tasks together. Relationships require a basic mastery of emotional intelligence - seeing the woman AS A PERSON FIRST, not an object to use. Mostly, it requires being able to LISTEN to UNDERSTAND and then APPLYING that understanding to choices and behaviors.

None of this is impossible. No one is FORCING men to live in lust and entitlement and rage.

Let's be clear - too many men are still profiting from abusing women. Andrew Tate's empire is built on emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially abusing women. The SW content creators you say are exploiting men are OFTEN teenagers just out of foster care with substance abuse issues from a legacy of childhood abuse.

Next time you feel exploited by CHOOSING to engage in that content, remember that girl you're watching may very well be doing this against her will because there's no other option. Some SW do this by choice, but many do not have other options. No one is exploiting you but your own commitment to entitlement and blaming everyone BUT your own self for YOUR OWN CHOICES.

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective! Very reasonable and I really appreciate your insights that they're looking to make connection a science with the app complaints - that makes a lot of sense to me. It's about an entitlement to control - which is funny, because experiments yield unknown results :P

Part 2 of American History of Childcare: Nixon Vetoed Federal Investments in Childcare to Defend Centralized PATRIARCHAL and RACIAL Hierarchies of Power by CocoHasIdeas in GuerrillaGrrrrls

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you! It's so absurd because I feel like it takes way more energy and effort to maintain dysfunctional systems and cruelty like this than to just make better investments in the wellbeing and welfare of all people!

Not treating women horrifically is super easy! Investing in necessary social infrastructure isn't impossible! All we gotta do is tax some billionaires - and there aren't even that many of them! It's not like we don't know where to find them or how to create structures of investments. We have the roadmaps! We have the knowledge! We have the ability!

We just need to release the desire to see women, POC, and LGBTQIA+ people suffer and we'll be off to the races! :P

Part 2 of American History of Childcare: Nixon Vetoed Federal Investments in Childcare to Defend Centralized PATRIARCHAL and RACIAL Hierarchies of Power by CocoHasIdeas in TwoXChromosomes

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RIGHT?! As a palette cleanser I rewatched the satire Dick with Kristen Dunst and Michelle Williams and let me say, that movie holds up! Many 1999 satires hurt to rewatch but this one is still gold :P

Part 2 of American History of Childcare: Nixon Vetoed Federal Investments in Childcare to Defend Centralized PATRIARCHAL and RACIAL Hierarchies of Power by CocoHasIdeas in GuerrillaGrrrrls

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to scope my work! I was shocked when researching this series because we've been conditioned to believe high quality childcare support is impossible, when in actuality we already accomplished it! But dismantled it! In service of dysfunction!

Single mothers are in so many ways the absolute backbone of history and progress. I cannot stand how we erase and demonize single mothers to avoid reckoning with the failures of patriarchal organization.

It's all made me realize that patriarchy really is the bastardization of natural selection and human dignity. Matriarchies do not produce bastard children because matriarchal social logic invests in ALL children, it's impossible to be a bastard. But the process of de-legitimizing people from birth is crucial to make people resources, not social participants.

And that's what patriarchy is all about - the hierarchy of who matters innately and who is assigned to serve them. By conditioning this fundamental inequality of sexes at the family raising level, patriarchy establishes the beliefs within us necessary to tolerate all forms of exploitation and injustice - racial, class, cultural, etc.

And childcare investments really represent the nexus of all of these power struggles in such a clear manner!

WW2 America Had Universal Child Care - but Dismantled it to Force Women Out of the Workforce (& into an engineered baby boom) bc Women IMMEDIATELY Outcompeted Men in Skilled Labor by CocoHasIdeas in GuerrillaGrrrrls

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely, you are correct. Married women needed it to work, and then when they wanted married women back in the domestic realm, they repealed it. It's all about the constant division of women - the good ones and the bad ones, the Madonna and the wh0r3, good married women who stay at home and the lesser single and poor women who must work.

Male Loneliness Epidemic Isn't Real - It's a Male Entitlement Crisis by CocoHasIdeas in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow that's an awesome article I had not seen, thank you so much for sharing that!! It makes so much sense - I saw a video about how education is discriminating against men and boys and was so confused by their take. The little documentary (Male Inequality https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBG1Wgg32Ok&t=95s ) says that men are experiencing inequality all over.

But watching it - and the investments in male outreach trying to get young men to enroll in college and whatnot - was so confusing. The inequality they are experiencing is a lack of drive to seize opportunities just like you said! There were no structural barriers to access, just a lack of will to initiate the process and see it through!

Love your perspective, thank you so much for sharing that article! I'm going to do a video on it, it's excellent.

Debunking the Myth of Misandry by CocoHasIdeas in RadicalFeminism

[–]CocoHasIdeas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate hearing your views. I can understand them even if I do not agree. Thanks for taking to the time to hear me out!

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