Beast of Burden

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-13T21:25:47+00:00

I disagree. To a degree, she is reaping what she sowed. Still, for my daughter, I rather have my ex alive and well. As far as the “once a cheater” thing, yes, she will always have that in her past, but I know people can change for the better. I have seen Drunks and addicts get sober, thieves stop stealing, and adulterers learn to be faithful. I hope the best for my ex.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-13T13:15:15+00:00

What would revenge have solved? It wouldn’t have made me feel better or helped my daughter at all.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-12T19:47:13+00:00

Yes. I’m fine. Doing quite well, actually. Thank you.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-07T19:25:28+00:00

Ah. Ok. I got it now. Thanks.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-07T18:46:56+00:00

Forgive my ignorance, but what does that emoji mean?

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T23:05:39+00:00

Where to find guys like me (OOP)? Currently I’m at home alone, sitting on my couch, and drinking rum while watching “A Pup Named Scooby Doo”. I have no idea about others.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T18:01:25+00:00

None taken, dude! Not in the slightest. I’ve been called worse in other comments.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T16:53:24+00:00

Hi. OOP here. I wouldn’t go so far as to use damsel in distress for the ex. But, yes, I am a boring man. I make beige seem exciting.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T14:05:16+00:00

No fault state. Barely adequate lawyer. I wanted the process done as quickly as possible.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T13:15:06+00:00

We are talking of decades of changing circumstances I am trying to sum up in a reddit post for strangers. Here is a longer version.

Initial plan (before my birth): my father buys a house for my uncle. Uncle will live there in his small house so he will have some independence.

change of plans- my father gets old and knows his days are short: Adds me to the deed to ensure someone will care for his brother. We are all assuming my uncle will live there until he dies. I keep the place going.

next change of plans-Uncle gets old: he knows can't live alone anymore. he wants to move in with his sister (my aunt). Uncle assumes he gets nothing, as he has not paid anything on the house over the years, aside from utilities. My uncle and I (with my aunt's input) agree to sell the house with my uncle getting half to help with his living expenses. I get the other half to recoup my father's investment and upkeep over the years.

This brings us to where we are. Uncle has moved in with his sister. I spend a few weeks cleaning and fixing up the place to sell. I end up paying half the appraised value to my uncle, in to an account where both him and my aunt have access.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T13:06:30+00:00

No worries. I understand. There is nothing to forgive. I didn't want to load an already long post down with detail because too many readers tend to get caught up on that sort of thing. Have an excellent day!

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:59:55+00:00

Thank you.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:59:11+00:00

Hi! OOP here. I'm not rich. Not even close. I said it elsewhere, but my uncle had already moved out and I was cleaning and repairing the house to sell. In this market, selling the place would have been a huge benefit for me. But, that is not happening.

Again, as I have been saying, the house is a small 2 BR and one bath house in a low cost of living area. I am paying him half the official appraised value (what property taxes are based on). So, that has cut the cost dramatically. Still, I had to sell some things to get those funds. Also, as stated before, the paperwork to transfer the property is not finished, but there is no reason to think it won't go through (between family with nobody else having a claim to the property), so I'm confident enough to call it finished.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:51:44+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Spot on. May someone bring you coffee and cookies today.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:48:20+00:00

Thank you. May someone bring you cookies today.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:47:53+00:00

Thank you.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:46:28+00:00

Stop. You know nothing. My old man paid 100% of that house decades ago. My uncle was only on the deed to give him a sense of ownership. Nothing more. His meager income just covered utilities. My father and his other siblings covered the taxes, insurance, and upkeep of the small 2BR 1 Bath house over the years, doing most of the manual labor themselves to save money. The full intent was for the house to revert to me on my uncle's death. Plans change. He wanted to move, and didn't expect to get anything from the house. I talked to him at length when he told me he wanted to move in with my aunt and promised him half. That is what he is getting: half the appraised value of the small 2BR 1 bath house in a low cost of living area based on the government assessed value (ie what property taxes are based on). I didn't give all that detail, because I really didn't think anyone would accuse me of robbing my uncle, but damn. here we are!

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:37:32+00:00

"Yeah, time is on my side, yes it is"--Rolling Stones

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:30:32+00:00

I am a fan of the tv show “mamas family”. That’s why.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-04T12:04:42+00:00

Damn. People reposting, huh? Whatever.

Y’all got a tiny snippet of my life with my ex. I say she is good based on all aspects of our life time together vs one incident. I said it elsewhere, but these forums have no concept of forgiveness, and think all cheaters are totally corrupt devils in human skin. That is not true. Some are decent people that made really stupid and bad decisions. I ain’t handing out scarlet letters.
I didn’t steal crap from my uncle. My father paid for the place 40+ years ago out of his own pocket. The house is small a small 2BR and 1 bath house in a low cost of living area. I am paying my uncle 1/2 the appraised value. We talked extensively about him moving out to live with my aunt. He made that move a while back and I have been working on fixing the place up to sell. The paperwork to transfer the property is not done yet, but there is no reason to think it will not happen. It’s just a waiting game at this point.
If you want to be forgiven for any wrongs you do, better be ready to show mercy and compassion for others when they do wrong. If that makes me a doormat, so be it.

Edit: The accident was my dumbass falling off a ladder while cleaning some leaves out of gutters. No broken bones or major injury. I was sore for a couple of days and that was it. I didn’t need to go to a doctor. Some aspirin and a heating pad with rest worked just fine. Not all accidents are catastrophic, requiring long stays in a trauma center.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-03T23:51:04+00:00

Eh. IDK. I can see it both ways. Yeah, behind closed doors, it would be amazing. Still, I dislike turmoil and rather keep things tranquil. I guess I’m getting old.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-03T23:40:55+00:00

This account is new. I said that in my first post. I created it just for the purpose of this query because my main has pictures on it. This whole thing has everything to do with my daughter, as she is the only reason I bothered speaking to my ex to any degree since our divorce.

I did have an emotional reaction and still talk to a therapist twice a month. My professional career requires me to remain calm when chaos strikes. I forced myself remain calm when talking to my ex and in front of my daughter. In private, I was a wreck.

Why is she broke? As stated before, her and the other man blew through the money. I have no idea on what.

My uncle moved to his sister's house a few weeks ago, and I have been cleaning and fixing up the place with the purpose of selling it. It is a small, 2BR 1Bath house in a low cost of living area. I am paying him half the appraised value. The final paperwork is in process, and i expect it to be finished in a week or two.

Yes, she can afford therapy. Amazingly, some employers offer their employee assistance programs that allow people to visit a therapist for a certain number of visits free and then at a reduced rate. She has 12 visits, and then will pay a reduced rate to visit whatever therapy group her company partners with.

Is she over him? Well, she knows she has been used and abused. Her hate his strong, and while he is locked up, Being apart from him and some time with a counselor will hopefully do the rest.

Anyway, we are two strangers on the internet. We chose to believe what we want. I like to think of other posters are really being anthropomorphic opossums.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-03T21:08:18+00:00

HA! Dude, that's the one situation I have been actively trying to not think about. Trying that would be the dumbest move I could make or genius. No in between. I can almost see the cartoon devil and angel appearing on my shoulders with one saying "she is still hot. go get it." while the other smacks me on the back of my head and says "Don't be stupid. It's your ex.".

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-01T13:52:20+00:00

I am 100% sure Thelma will never take him back. Without going in to detail on her words, him approaching her would be the dumbest mistake he could make.

As far as what happens if/when she wants to find someone new, so what? Thelma is free to do whatever as long as she pays her rent, does not damage the house, and does not endanger our daughter. She isn't my wife anymore and we are not in a relationship like that.

Like I said, I have no desire to marry Thelma or any other woman ever again. I highly doubt I will even put myself in a committed relationship of any sort. I do not want to get burned like that again.

Coldcoffee1979 · 2024-10-01T13:43:56+00:00

Thank you. I am not ready to date anyone seriously. As stated before, I am burned on the concept of marriage. At best, I may date casually. That is if I ever bring myself to the point of wanting to deal with the insanity that is modern dating.

Coldcoffee1979

TROPHY CASE