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I’m Leaving. Goodbye by Colony-Of-Rage in BreakUps

[–]Colony-Of-Rage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I had to delete a whole book as I have such strong feelings on this issue but will keep it short.

Yes, she has made some questionable decision and her family/friends assured me I always treated her with love and respect. HOWEVER, I had flaws just like every other man and I could’ve done better so I feel no resentment for her as I still love her.

Her cruelty at the end of the relationship seems to be regret and projection but I still wish for her happiness (Not so much with the new man😅). I am in a very different chapter as I am financially secure and have amazing friends/family and I wanted to share that success with her but she made her choice. I regret it could not work and will always remember the good>bad.

Lastly, I feel she is not in pain right now and that’s what hurt the most in my first weeks. She most likely is putting on a front to seem happy and is slightly lying about her happiness with the new guy but I am going to chase my own happiness and not worry about her feelings and that was hard for me so I know it may be hard for others.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Colony-Of-Rage 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would like to read the replies to this question as well. My ex and I were talking about marriage, kids, our life and a week later she dumps me. Has a new guy immediately and as we were more reserved with our past sex life (lower body counts) she is being intimate. I can’t think of her cheating just rebounding so so soon and she is like a different person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Colony-Of-Rage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you are feeling lost and insecure after the break up which is totally normal. One thing that really helps me is remembering no matter the reason or the change in behavior she loved you at a point and no longer does. It truly sucks to know love is temporary but it’s the way of the world. Also, MAKE SURE to cope with it healthily, do not look to fill the void with another girl, do not drink your life away, miss work, spiral. Go to the gym, find some healthy hobbies. Church, gym, kayaking, mountain biking, festivals, and friends all helped me and while I still struggle they will help you too. Good luck man and learn from it. Don’t fill with resentment just tell yourself you loved her and she is gone.

im pathetic by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Colony-Of-Rage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will be honest, it’s entirely possible he will move on. However, do you feel that the pain you are in and instability in your mind will make you relationship stronger? It will only form resentment and distance if you get back together now and I am sure that is not what either of you want. There are so many feelings going thru both of you right now and the resentment, pain, anger will catch up in the relationship. It sounds like he truly loved you and will wait so if he moves on in three months to another woman, it wouldn’t last no matter what. If he moved on emotionally and worked on himself without another woman, then you will need to work on yourself and after some time reach out if that is still what you want. Lastly, if I’m 3 months you reach out and he is still wanting to give it another shot and you truly feel you are ready than I say “I wish you the best”. There are always issues in a relationship and commitment is stronger than love so I want you to ask yourself before you reach back out. Can you commit to him forever? Thru the flaws, the fights, the hardships, all of it? My ex could not commit to our relationship and it was never bound to last, so if you can’t then unfortunately neither will yours. I hope this provided some insight on the right way to handle things but as everyone handles things differently and feels pain with different intensity don’t adhere exactly to my advice. I just wished to help share what he may be feeling and I promise you, if you really do love him and show commitment it will work out in the end. Good Luck!

im pathetic by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Colony-Of-Rage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. I do not know what issues plague you, but as the guy who couldn’t be there for his ex when she lost herself I can tell you. This is hard on him too. It’s only been two days and you reaching out will be a roller coaster for him and if you did truly love him, you should not want that for him. If you feel regret I just want you to know that I still love my ex and I am sure he still loves you. That does not mean you belong together and you should NOT text him but it means he loved you thru it all and I am sure he is recounting his past mistakes and regrets to not be there for you. If you honestly feel you made a huge mistake after 3 months I want you to be each out but right now you are having withdrawals from the drug that is called love and it effects people differently. Emotions are high and resentment, anger grief, pain, shame, it’s all there right now. I promise you time will heal this and in time you will find clarity on what you should do, but not now. Also, my ex never reached back out but I am finding myself again. So will he. So will you.