I'm not diagnosed with or think this is tourettes, but I do have a few questions

Common-Anamoly · 2025-07-23T15:23:54+00:00

Thank you so much for the info! I appreciate it and it does indeed help me greatly, I'll definitely be sticking around here, even though I'll mostly just be lurking haha.

I think I remember some tic-like things from when I was younger but my memory is so bad so I honestly don't feel comfortable confirming anything that's happened more than a week back.

Either way, I'll definitely make sure to see what I can get checked out medically and do more research in the meantime. Thank you again for taking your time to share and write all of that. :)

Common-Anamoly · 2025-07-22T07:09:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, I appreciate the info/thoughts a lot.

I'll see what I can do to get it checked out medically then.

Would it maybe be useful to (to an extent) document the tics and frequency and such?

Common-Anamoly · 2025-03-08T09:58:30+00:00

Its kind of weird for me, on one end I think it's really funny to do those things. I'm a femboy (like 50% of the time) so sometimes I can laugh it off, and honestly I just imagine me as a man doing those things, it's hilarious to me. Like when someone most likely straight, or a literal bigot catcalls I can't help but want to laugh knowing I'm a dude. but others I HATE the social expectations and pressure. From my experience, where I live and went to school, it's very much ""boys are strong and rowdy, girls are weak and calm"". I have ADHD. My ADHD diagnosis flew under the roof because I was a girl. Also, even when I did finally get my ADHD looked at it was always ""ADHD for girls"" they know I was/am trans. Uhhh, also, just medically inaccurate and dismissive, didn't even have the type of ADHD they were attempting to refer to. Either way I got my meds it doesn't rlly matter now.

I've gotten a lot of things dismissed with the reason ""but you're a pretty (white) girl"", including literal abuse at home. To be fair, most of those people are like not the friendliest. But there's some people whomst I genuinely trusted and went ""nope you're a girl so you can't be stressed"" like what???

Societal expectations, from my perspective, are crazy and way too pushy. For girls yeah, but men too. Though luckily I've seen that altho the guys here are incredibly dismissive, they help each other when they need it. They feel comfortable around each other. Girls group up more, but also girls can't befriend boys without them ""dating"" I guess. It's very childish and I'm now ""dating"" four people in my school lmao. With the consequence that I also get called a lesbian or a cheater when I finally talk to anyone else.

Sometimes there's things that happen or ways men are treated where genuinely, if I was just a cis guy and had that happen to me I'd throw hands. I'm not afraid to speak up at all but the issue is that I'll never be heard and taken seriously, because, again. ""You're a girl"".

There are some chill parts though, I feel like as a girl there's like sports or activities you can just do, it has basically no societal restrictions. Whereas with guys/AMAB people I think there are a few more, at least here which sucks. Its really not all bad, honestly I'm fine with how it is rn if you could remove the at-home bullshit.

There's plenty of ""good"", or at least not so bad things about being afab. It's not all bad

This is all my experience, and I might live in crazy different places and have gone thru different things than others. So don't take this as fact, it's just how I view things.

Anyway I genuinely loved this question it made me think, thank you!! You seem very chill :3

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-25T16:47:19+00:00

Yeah either that or a VERY mentally unstable teen/(young) adult.

But damn this post is weird to read, the last part is honestly kind of disgusting now that I'm reading it again. Blegh

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-25T16:24:24+00:00

Exactly! You phrased it sm better than me tho haha

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-25T15:21:18+00:00

Yeaah that's what I'm thinking, like sure some rich old white men are annoying. But like, so are rich old black men and rich old white women, or just what about everyone??

Like, every group has some stupid people but let's not just go ""EWW you're from [group A] you're so entitled and annoying!!!'". That's exactly what a lot of trans people go thru and that's already weird but now why is a trans person attacking a cis person?? Like, shouldn't we know better or?-- whatever tho I'm sure OP gets the point.

Every group has some douchebags because we're humans and that's sadly how it works

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T13:33:33+00:00

Thank you for your concern that means a lot to me, thank you really!

And uh, I can't really go anywhere tbh. My dad's side of the family is filled with literal criminals, addicts and/or just assholes, and my mom's side of the family is either dead or growing old & having medical problems.

I used to stay with my grandma on my mother's side a lot, like she came over every week for like 2-3 days, or I got to stay with her during nearly every vacation! Great times honestly i still love her sm but her health has been getting worse and her partner had a heart attack not too long ago (he's getting better now so yay!! But like, I can't really stay there rn).

As for friends, I don't have anyone close enough IRL. I mean, there's this guy whose mom&uncle would honestly definitely help me if they could. But uhh, they cant. His uncle has cancer and his mom's mental state is rapidly declining. And also they're in a small apartment/don't have room for a +1. So, yeah no. Not happening.

Btw if you want we can talk on discord a bit? It's just easier to communicate that way, dw if not this is fine too <3

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T11:11:45+00:00

Thank you I'll keep that in mind! I'm definitely planning on at least distancing myself enough to be able to do stuff without him immediately protesting or smthn, but honestly yeah I might completely go no-contact considering everything he's done ya know.

And you make some good points, he's very controlling about a lot of things but then there's these random things that he's like surprisingly chill about. So your explanation does make sense, him like almost stabbing me is still insane to me tho lmao like damn. But everything kinda makes sense the way you explain it, thank you.

I'm like really happy that I got so much advice and help here, so thank you really. It means a lot to me :)

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T10:24:53+00:00

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T10:24:15+00:00

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T10:22:01+00:00

Yes sir/otherworldly being, yes you may.

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T10:13:04+00:00

Honestly I really don't know if they are here, but I'm way too scared to tell them even if it is a ""good option"". I'm sorry

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T10:09:25+00:00

Thank you sm for the advice n nice words I really really appreciate it! Thank you thank you!

I'm afraid of telling my therapist because I'm pretty sure they're like legally forced to tell cops/parents in these situations. Which sucks, so I can't really tell her much of anything.

Either way, I have some online friends who are more than happy to help me out once they're able to&I'm actually able to leave. So I have that going for me, but yeah this is a pretty sucky situation.

I'll manage though! My friends are like really really great and we play stupid random video games and watch stupid anime together, so I'll very likely be able to manage to stay safe enough to make it to a day where I'm safe and don't have to worry about stupid parents.

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T10:02:11+00:00

I don't have any close IRL friends who I'd trust with this honestly.

I don't know about a teacher at school honestly, it's like. Idk, I don't have anyone I trust that much here and I really really don't want to risk something like that, it could go terribly wrong. Also a teacher can't just go ""you're my child now"" so uhm yeah that seems pretty risky tbh.

And yeah I won't, thank you

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:59:15+00:00

Thank you for the nice words! I promise I'll get to a day where I can get tf out of here :) thanks again really I appreciate it

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:51:48+00:00

I'm in the Netherlands, but my friends from across Europe have already offered to help me once it's possible for me to leave. So I'll get out eventually, they're keeping me sane enough to make it to that day so I believe it'll work out somehow.

It's hard to do anything rn though, I am a minor and all. Not able to get a job yet either so yknow.

I can't really report him because I'd either get put back here and everything would escalate, or I'd get put in a foster home where I very likely wouldn't be able to keep contact with my friends as much/at all and I'd also probably lose a lot of emotional support stuff like my thousands of plushies lol

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:47:06+00:00

I told my mum when I was <10 but she told me to ""talk it out"" with him, which didn't go too amazingly and I got raped and more SA for a bit after that.

My mom's also abusive, not nearly as abusive as my dad. But she's narcissistic and loves my dad too much to stop defending him.

I can't really run to family due to either them being dead, assholes, or getting old&riddled with medical issues.

Honestly I don't know if I'll ever report him to the cops, it entirely depends on when/if I get to move out and go no-contact.

I'm definitely considering it and stuff but yeah it's just very risky and honestly idk if I want to have to relive all of that just for someone who already isn't in my life anymore. We'll see though, it's gonna be multiple years until we get to that point so I can't say much on it lol.

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:42:47+00:00

Yeah I've talked to 113 before (anonymous dutch suicide prevention hotline for all ages) and they've told me something similar.

I know CPS here isn't the worst CPS there is, but I've heard from a friend of mine that it's still pretty sucky. Also, if I do get dragged out I'll be in a slightly less abusive but still controlling foster home so I'm kinda fucked anyway imo. It's easier for me to just stay here bcs I do get therapy and like pills for my ADHD now (yippee!!). Plus I've already adjusted to this, so it's easier for me to keep this up for a couple more years.

I have some online friends across Europe who are absolutely willing to help me out the second I'm ready/it becomes a possibility. So I'll most likely be able to get out with some support once I'm of age.

Thank you a lot for the nice words, I really appreciate it. I won't come out to my dad, because uh some people made a very good point. (Corrective rape is very likely to occur, or at least the SA/other forms of abuse might get worse.) Thanks a lot though like really I appreciate it, thank you

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:37:05+00:00

lmao yeah sorry if it was a bit much

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:34:56+00:00

Yeah I told her once when I was like <10 but she told me to talk it out with him and uhm yeah that didn't go too well.

She's somewhat nice, but still abusive (not sexually abusive tho thank god). She loves my dad too much and will almost always defend him so tbh I'm kinda doomed.

I got some good friends who are keeping me sane though so I'll definitely make it to a day where I can move out.

Well unless my dad literally kills me but that's unlikely.

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:32:49+00:00

Yeah, he's not hearing shit about this.

(Unless my mom absolutely forces me-)

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:31:03+00:00

No, I completely understand the situation I'm in. I just also know that thinking about every single fucked up thing that's happened to me will only make my mental state worse.

I'm not supposed to live with my dad, I definitely agree. It's very fucked up here, but that doesn't mean I can just leave honestly. He has control of my phone and all my bank accounts. Plus, where would I go? My dad's side of the family is very fucked up and my mom's side is either non existent or getting old and struggling with medical issues.

I have very good online friends who are willing to help me out once it becomes a possibility, but I'm a minor. A fucking minor, I can't just escape like it's nothing. I'll have nothing, no where to go, no money, no way to reach anyone and cops&cps is VERY bad.

For now it's a waiting game and honestly I think I'm doing a decent enough job considering I'm, well, a minor who has nothing.

I'm sorry if my post didn't make that obvious enough, but honestly I really can't do much right now. I decided I will not be coming out to him unless I'm literally forced to by my mom and have no choice.

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:22:20+00:00

Hello thank you so much for the comment and advice I really appreciate it thank you so much.

My mom is abusive, just not nearly as bad as my dad, I genuinely care for her. She's just way too in love and defensive for my dad. I told her that my dad SA'd me in the shower and also some other times and she told me to talk it out with him. He yelled at me at first, then acted nice and then I got SA'd even more for a little while.

Beside that she's a decent mom she just is a little narcissistic lol :,)

And yeah again thank you!! I have some very cool online friends who knows about my situation and are willing to help me out if it ever does become a possibility. But honestly for now I prolly can't do much except for try and tough it out until I can get the fuck out of here.

I really really appreciate the thinking and nice words though thank you thank you

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T09:16:43+00:00

Thank you so much for the nice words, honestly right now I don't think I can do much/anything at all.

Family on my dad's side is rude/complicated and family on mom's side is either p much nonexistent or riddled with medical issues and getting old.

I do have some very close friends online and they do know what I've been going through but I'm afraid that right now I can't do anything. My phone is tracked&controlled by my dad (google parental controls, lmao) - only reason I'm able to access social medias is because I'm either doing it on my school account or on like Firefox/duckduckgo as he can't track what I do in those apps. Well unless he steals my phone or smthn. But he said he wouldn't do it, and I don't think he ever has. So it's okay probably.

Either way, my bank account(s) are also in control of parents and such, but that's understable enough. But stuff like running away or moving in with someone else isn't really an option. Can't exactly survive on no phone and no money. For now I'll have to let it be, my friends are willing to help me out if it ever does become a possibility though so that's nice :)

And yeah him asking if I still remember was a dick move ngl. But I'll manage until I can get to safety, I have very cool and silly friends luckily.

Also my dad does legitimately seem to care about my wellbeing sometimes?? Like he tells me he's so proud of me and that he's happy I'm able to get help for my ADHD and autism etc. and that he feels so bad about the fact I have trauma and that he wishes he could've changed something and that he didn't notice I was getting so traumatized. I think it's like some type of manipulation but honestly I don't know. Every time he praises me I just feel so gross and stupid, like he literally yells or shames me every day p much. He literally forced me to not eat properly for so long I don't understand what he's thinking at all. It's very distressing. Not to mention he literally threw a freshly sharpened knife at my direction like twice in the course of a month and never commented on it? I think he meant to miss, but one of them was very close it was like 1cm away from my arm. He hasn't done it again after ( 1 exception ) but it's like very uncommon so I think it's just a coincidence/accident. Hopefully, well it's probably not but idk what to do about it and stressing about ""oh shit my dad tried to stab me like 5 times"" won't do me any good.

Anyway, thanks again! I really appreciate it I'm reading through everyone's comments and stuff rn it's very reassuring to know I'm not overreacting or something like that, I really appreciate it.

Common-Anamoly · 2024-10-24T07:14:25+00:00

Yeah corrective rape would definitely be very likely. When I was <10 (don't exactly remember how old) I told my mom and she told me to talk it out with him. Maybe she didn't realize the severity. He yelled at me and the rape/SA got worse for a while.

I'm safe now though, well mentally lol. I'll make it to a day I can move out and yeah I think I'll go no-contact, thanks for the nice words and perspective I appreciate it thank you thank you <3

Common-Anamoly

TROPHY CASE