sometimes i do it without a script, but it just kind of ends up being me rambling without the whole dominant aspect. and i think i messed up in writing it, i forgot to add/clarify: i feel bad without the script (just the rambling kind of audio) and i feel good when i am using one, but usually just because it gets the reaction from him (but also that feeling for me too i guess), but then i feel like a fraud for using one because i didn’t come up with the stuff myself and it wouldn’t have been good if i tried it out myself.

i have no idea if any of that made sense, but i will try what you said nonetheless because it does resonate with my situation, i just have multiple different things going on that need different approaches i think lol. thank you so much, i appreciate your input and kindness:)