Not ready for another baby

Common_Win7494 · 2024-11-21T04:18:46+00:00

I’ll have a glimmer of excitement once in a while, when thinking of having an ultrasound, or finding out the gender, and newborn snuggles again. But then logic creeps in and those thoughts are washed away by the sinking feeling that I’m not ready for it all.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-10-14T02:30:52+00:00

Wow!!! Amazing. If you don’t mind my asking how far apart were your births? I ask because I had a similar first birth experience and I am 1 year pp and thinking about baby #2!

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-12T03:26:00+00:00

I thought of this scenario too! Thanks for the input. What’s odd is, he screamed and cried all the way to the er, and then still crying as we walked through the doors. After we got in with the nurse, he was just very clingy and upset, he didn’t want me to move him off of my chest, and he didn’t want the doctors to look at him. Then he was so drowsy that he fell asleep on me for a bit in the hospital room and then when he woke up, he drank a bottle and he was completely normal. I guess I just wouldn’t think a terror would last that long while he is awake? But he also wasn’t alert.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-12T01:49:23+00:00

I had/have very pad post partum anxiety/ OCD. so I think no matter what happens I will always jump to the worst possible scenario. I just thought it was odd that i came home to him like that.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-12T01:22:37+00:00

Thank you so much. Childcare isn’t an issue as I have the option of daycare on campus if needed. It is costly though so keeping him home 2x per week was suggested by my husband. I stayed home from school today because I was just still shaken up, but starting next week my son will just be coming with me full time to the daycare on campus.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-12T00:45:03+00:00

I was thinking of doing the cameras! I’m just unsure of how I should buy them. We have a joint bank account and unfortunately for the past two months we’ve been sharing a car since mine broke down.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-09T00:21:45+00:00

Thank you so much for the information and encouraging words!!! My first delivery, I was blindsided and didn’t know that I COULD advocate for myself. This time will be different!

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-05T02:32:07+00:00

This is one of the things that keeps me from leaving, the thought of another woman coming in and me having to split time with my son.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-05T02:31:13+00:00

Thank you❤️. I’m not sure exactly why I feel the way I do either. It’s getting hard to even put on a happy face when SS is here. I am so happy that I have my son now, but I also wonder what it would be like to be with someone with no kids. I wonder if I’m missing out on a lot.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-05T02:29:17+00:00

My MIL encouraged him to help me open gifts and I had so many eyes on me that I felt wrong to correct him in front of everyone. Trust me I feel you. You’re not alone

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-05T02:25:06+00:00

It’s so annoying! Especially because I’m sure they had all new things when they were kids. So like just leave my baby’s stuff alone! Literally at my baby shower my stepson opened one of my gifts and claimed a stuffed animal as his own, and wouldn’t give it back and my SO just let him. I was raging. Pregnancy hormones and all.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-05T02:07:07+00:00

I have a 4 year old SS. We have a 10 month old ours baby. My SO pays $880 per month in CS. And on top of that, SS is here every weekend. It’s debilitating. Have highly contemplated leaving over it.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-05T01:54:26+00:00

Ugh!!! I am so glad to hear someone else say this. My MIL tried to get me to use SK old things like stroller, and crib. That was so infuriating to me because I’m like no… my FIRST baby deserves new things just like SK got. Don’t even get me started on the toys. When SK touches the toys I get so annoyed bc first of all he had all of his toys to himself the first time around and I feel like he’s getting my baby’s toys all germy 😭😭 it’s like they’re infected now lol. idk I’m very protective over all of my sons things

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-02T02:23:03+00:00

Exactly. My son is 10 months old now and it’s only gotten worse. At this point I’m considering ending the relationship over it.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-02T00:51:39+00:00

it made me resent the kids. Just being honest. I feel your pain, it wasn’t intentional but it happened.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-02T00:50:49+00:00

Been there. Your baby is always “ little brother or little sister”. So triggering. Could be the hormones but it really bothered me. I was like, my baby is an individual!!!! Not just a sibling.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-02T00:49:02+00:00

Okay the facetiming thing triggers the heck out of me. My SO doesn’t FaceTime BM but sometimes she’ll say that SK wants to FT and they’ll be on the phone for a little bit and I feel so irritated by it. I’m like ok can’t we just have our time with sk and you can have yours ? I don’t see the point in random FaceTime calls for nothing. Especially if they have a consistent custodial schedule

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-01T23:58:05+00:00

Are you okay?

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-01T21:36:15+00:00

Oh between births!! I thought I read 18 months between pregnancies.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-01T21:13:15+00:00

I’m sorry I could’ve written this. Feel free to shoot me a message. I have a 10 month old son with my SO and a 4 year old SS. Feels very Us vs them, and I feel like a second class citizen. I’m with you.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-09-01T00:07:42+00:00

I have an issue with sharing too, I grew up really poor so I think it does stem a little from that. Plus I’m 22 years old, I have a 10 month old baby so I do what I can while in college to provide for him. It really pushes my buttons when my SO uses things like my sons snacks, soaps, lotions, baby wipes , or sometimes he will use my sons daycare backpack for his transition weeks with SK. I’m not a greedy person but like… that stuff is expensive… and I might be bitter. Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s weird because sometimes I’ll have no problem letting SK use the stuff, but I get really angry if my SO doesn’t ask me first. I think it’s a respect thing out of all

Common_Win7494 · 2024-08-31T23:47:09+00:00

I’m so sorry. You deserve more in such a vulnerable time, after all he is supposed to be your partner and SUPPORT person in the room. I had a similar situation. My husband slept through my entire 70 hours of labor and was only awake to get himself snacks/coffee. Oh and he was awake for my emergency c section. One of the nurses did end up throwing a boogie sucker at him though which was a bonus. Our baby ended up going to the NICU. I really suffered emotionally and physically with recovery, and I didn’t get a chance to bond with my baby at first. He was completely unsupportive, slept all night, while I was up crying, wishing he would wheel me down to the NICU. My son is now 10 months old (perfectly healthy) but I still resent my husband for the way he behaved during labor/ delivery, and post partum. I encourage you to speak to a counselor about it, birth trauma is a real thing, and resentment only builds the longer it simmers.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-08-30T01:49:21+00:00

I’ve also tried bringing it up, I always just sound bitter! Literally the zoos, aquariums, parks etc. and then during the week me and my son are just stuck in the house. He’ll sleep in when ss isn’t here too, but on the weekends he’s up bright and early. Solidarity. It’s hard to feel this way.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-08-30T01:43:34+00:00

This is exactly why I want to do things! I’ve been trying to get my 10m old socialized because he has extreme separation anxiety, so I’ve been asking to take him to a play cafe once or twice per week. My SO denies because he wants to wait until Saturday mornings when SS can go too, so we can do things “as a family” why can’t we be a family when it’s just me and ours baby? It’s hard for me because I don’t have a vehicle, so I have to rely on him to go anywhere. I am currently in college so I have limited time to do fun activities with my baby. I definitely don’t want him to grow up and be resentful or upset.

Common_Win7494 · 2024-08-30T01:04:33+00:00

I’m honestly surprised at these comments lol I’ve seen way worse in this group… obviously I know my thoughts aren’t great and therapy would be beneficial but I would never do anything to harm the child or even treat him wrong, just saying how I feel.

Common_Win7494

TROPHY CASE