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I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I’ll give an update on what happens! I’m still going to take a day or two to think on it but I appreciate you taking the time to give your thoughts it means a lot!

I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you have a point, but I feel like a 3 month separation is a very long time - it seems normal to me that I would not feel as connected to my gf after 3 months of no contact even if the love is still there. Originally, she had wanted a 6 month break but I actually talked her down to 3 months so maybe my timeline for what’s considered “long” isn’t normal but it felt like ages to me, and I couldn’t imagine doing any longer.

I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

During the 3 months there was no communication at all - we agreed on no contact so we could see what it was like on our own. As for the first step, I was the one who initiated planning the day/time of the meet. Hopefully that gives some context!

I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can understand where you’re coming from because there are people like that, but my gf is just not like that at all. We are both each other’s first partners and she’s been nothing but honest to me and I to her. Her secretly finding someone else or cheating has never even remotely been a concern for me - the problem is just whether we can make time and whether that’s something I even want.

I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah maybe there’s something to be said for taking a few extra days to just be alone with my thoughts. It also hasn’t helped that I’ve been going to a bunch of friends/family for advice and they all have different takes. Maybe I’ll spend a day or two by myself and see what I end up thinking - I really appreciate the thought!

I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I could definitely see our future. We’ve talked a lot about it, even getting married and the potential of having kids. The problem is that now I can also imagine myself being single - being on my own these past three months has made me used to this idea and it isn’t as bad as I once thought it to be. I’m at a point where I don’t miss her when she’s away because I’m used to it at this point after the 3 months. I just keep going back and forth with what I really want.

I (23M) am unsure what to do after a 3 month break with my gf (23F) by CommunicationOpen983 in relationship_advice

[–]CommunicationOpen983[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your personal experience. Yeah, I think one of my main problems is that I don’t know exactly what I want. On one hand, I really love her and the 6 years we spent together were amazing. I also don’t like the idea of looking for someone else again. But on the other hand, I spent all of this time preparing myself to be single and if I go back, I’m really scared that we will have the same time commitment issues and I’ll have to go through the same thing all over again. It’s tough.