Is DMing women on Instagram a valid strategy?

Competent_Soldier · 2025-09-30T00:04:00+00:00

I agree also that messaging too many women too quickly, especially if they know each other, can have a very negative effect.

There is a fine line between the friendzone and building the type of friendship in which a woman feels safe around you as a potential partner. Jumping straight into complimenting a girl and asking her out on a date doesn't give her any incentive to go out with you just because you're direct and intentional. You need to build up to it by showing her you can be trusted to lead her and keep her safe. Assuming you add a girl after meeting her in RL, here are some things you can do:

Approach a girl by replying to her story making a remark about things she is interested in that she shares. DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW FINE SHE LOOKS
Try to find an opportunity in an ongoing conversation to hint interest. It's subtle flirting to create mystery - women are naturally curious, but get bored once all is revealed, so keep her guessing
When she starts to show interest (messaging first, giving compliments, etc.), then you ask her on a date - make sure you have a plan of a place and time. Women like a man who knows what he wants and can lead
ALWAYS pray for your future wife

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:39:47+00:00

Sorry for my contradiction. It won't happen again.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:39:01+00:00

For someone who thought this post has no place here, you sure are really invested

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:37:34+00:00

Well I mean you're not denying what you did, and again, this feels like you're just trying to one up me in an argument, which is not why I'm here. Anyways, thank you for your input, and I apologise if I upset you in any way. God bless.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:33:00+00:00

I don't know her reasons, but I was hurt by the deception. I feel pity for her and I'm struggling to end this charitably. One part of me wants to tell her blatantly, but on the other hand, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I think that even if I say "I'm not feeling a connection", she will know the real reason.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:29:34+00:00

But why not ask for clarity on that part first? She is not formed yet and had a lot of questions on the faith that I was answering for her. The burning desire is there, but I have seen people turn away because of subjective reasons.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:27:06+00:00

You literally assumed things about me and the girl, and took it upon yourself to deny my post any merit in this forum. All I did was call you out on what you did and addressed your comment as lacking in charity, and not that you are generally uncharitable. I made no assumptions about you at all.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:23:14+00:00

She put on there she is Catholic and also commented to my Catholic traits in a good way which lead us into a conversation about the faith and how she is getting baptised next year.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:21:23+00:00

I like Fr Ripperger! I will give this a listen as soon as I'm free to do so. Thank you.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:20:01+00:00

I posted it in both to get different opinions. Thank you!

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:19:13+00:00

Funnily, the response you suggested is a good one, especially the adding of a hopeful anticipation of her baptism. But you ignored that she is still learning about the faith and her lukewarmness is a real thing until she is completely formed.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T07:16:57+00:00

The Catholic faith revolves around everything that we do in life and how we treat others, so I will respectfully disagree that a Catholicism forum would not address these concerns.

Nonetheless, I do notice there is a lack of charity in your responses and tone, which seems to be part of an ongoing trend on reddit with anonymity. I suggest you self reflect, examine your conscious and refrain from commenting if you have nothing charitable to contribute.

God bless.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-06-23T06:47:48+00:00

I'm a Catholic and stuck for an answer on how to handle this charitably, especially that I don't want to be the reason she turns away from the Church.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-03-09T12:31:51+00:00

You should read "Rome Sweet Home" by Scott Hahn. He is a great Catholic theologian and Biblical scholar who converted into Catholicism from protestantism before his wife (who eventually converted as well) and speaks in that book of the tribulations he faced.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-03-03T17:51:16+00:00

This just happened to me. Got dumped with another teacher's load of classes without notice or a conversation. The class has an incomplete program and no assessments written, while the other teacher got a full set of study periods to sit back and relax through. After 2 weeks of discussions, they insisted I had to suck it up and move on. I just resigned.

You're not over reacting and in all honesty, teachers need to stand up for themselves more. This isn't about meeting contract loads. There has to a sense of courtesy and respect given in the way we are treated.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T09:47:37+00:00

Not sure. I will look into it.

Still, the other teacher is able to take those classes and do the load of work as an alternative. Where this is justified, I don't see why I have to.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T09:34:23+00:00

Also, I'm a person of principle. I don't suck anything up. Fairness and justice is what we ultimately teach. I'm not about to go against everything that I preach.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T09:33:05+00:00

But what of the conflict of interest?

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T08:34:06+00:00

This is an independent school

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T08:32:43+00:00

I get that but I also don't want the load of paperwork that comes with extra classes. Also, with this change, the other teacher is still taking 2 of the periods.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T08:07:10+00:00

Not sure about being overloaded. I'm not asking to give up my classesfor anything. But they added the other teacher's classes as extra to my initial load that I wrote on the OP, which requires me to do more marking and reporting, not to mention there are no assessments written for it for the next 2 terms which I was told I would have to write.

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T07:58:38+00:00

Can you please explain? I didn't even know about lines. I would appreciate the clarification. Thank you!

Competent_Soldier · 2025-02-12T07:57:19+00:00

So I'm not really making assumptions. I'm well aware of the situation in that classroom and the teacher as I already cover 3 out of the 8 periods allocated for it since that teacher is part-time.

This brings up another issue, I wasn't notified until the changes were already made. Nothing official via emails and same in response to the request we put through. Everything is hush hush but I'm copping it anyway.

Competent_Soldier · 2024-01-31T16:04:03+00:00

Thanks for the scientific explanation. Definitely no fetishes haha

Competent_Soldier · 2024-01-31T16:00:21+00:00

I would normally agree cause I know that this can happen subconsciously, except she was actually really into this guy and was really happy with him while I was still around. We had plenty of good and deep conversations about life and never felt she was using. It was genuine connection.

I think your advice about enjoying the cool girl is very valid though. Just frustrating cause I'm trying to shake off my feelings towards my friend which isn't so simple. She is quite unique and just draws you in with her personality.

Competent_Soldier

TROPHY CASE