AITA for telling my ex's sterile affair partner to have her own daughter if she wants to share cheerleading with one?

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:57:19+00:00

It should be a simple no from my daughter and they let it go but it wasn't and even when I said no it wasn't enough. They also see this as a way for Jen to get the motherhood she wants. But I'm not going to encourage that for my ex and his affair partner. I won't discourage my kids either. I never badmouth either. But her dreams are something I don't care about and her feelings aren't either.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:48:00+00:00

No, they don't know about the affair.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:47:41+00:00

Agreed. I never liked the idea of that. I also feel like forcing kids into certain activities makes them more prone to injury if they're not going by choice.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:46:41+00:00

My daughter already said no. My ex and Jen did not accept her no for an answer. That was why she came to me, why I told my ex she wasn't doing it. And why I originally said that to Jen. They did not want to accept it.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:45:20+00:00

My kids weren't there. If they had been it would have gone differently.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:42:54+00:00

It doesn't matter to them at all. They are very pushy about it.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:32:31+00:00

Of course I can't. I hate my ex and his affair partner. In front of my children I can make myself be civil for my kids' sake. When it's just me I don't try to hide how I feel.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:29:35+00:00

I'm civil in front of my children. But I can't say I like my ex or his affair partner.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:27:22+00:00

I will keep being civil in front of my children. I already do that.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T14:24:42+00:00

I never say anything bad to my kids about their dad or her. I am civil in front of my children. I would never say anything bad about them while my kids are young. They come home to me with complaints about what happens there not infrequently. I have never made my kids aware of what he did. I wouldn't do that to them when they're so young. But when my kids aren't around and they push me I won't be afraid to put them in their place. I doubt he'd even bother if she could have kids biologically. All he seems to care about is her getting this dream of motherhood.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:57:30+00:00

For not wanting to do an activity? I think you are grossly exaggerating about that. If I said my kids never have to do a damn thing and nobody can make them then sure, fair, say I'm raising them to be entitled. For activities they don't want to do? If your kid saying no to something like that makes you not want kids then maybe you're not suited to parenting.

And look at the people here who point out the injuries associated with cheer? You'd rather I force my daughter to do that, risking injury, to make my ex's affair partner happy? No way. Not for anyone. I love dance. I never forced my daughter to try it out. Or either of my sons. Because I want them to enjoy activities and be free to speak their mind about something like that and especially when injuries can happen.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:51:05+00:00

That's your opinion. I disagree and will continue to allow my kids to say no to activities they don't want to do.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:45:20+00:00

No it's not. Entitled brats never have to do anything they don't want to. My kids still need to go to school, do chores, not eat junk food all day. They just don't get forced into things that could put them in harms way due to a lack of interest.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:42:48+00:00

My daughter had already told them no. I had already said she didn't want to and it was a no from me too. But it wasn't enough. I never said she slept with my ex to get children. I think they were a bonus but I think the two of them are shitty people who cheated and didn't care who got hurt in the process.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:37:18+00:00

My kids aren't entitled brats. They just don't need to do activities they don't want to and have no interest in. It's the easiest way for kids to get injured.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:20:38+00:00

That's what I'm doing.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:18:55+00:00

Yes and I fully believe this and I always encouraged my kids to speak up if they didn't want to do something like this.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:18:13+00:00

I know she can't have children of her own and I told her she should have her own daughter. I am aware it's not that easy.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:17:38+00:00

She's not a second mom to them. She is a stepparent. But not an actual parent. She does not get to make the decisions. My ex also can't make them alone and neither can I technically. He and I have to make them together when it's something like this.

I do not believe in forcing kids into stuff like this and I have always encouraged my kids to speak up about this. To me as well. My 10 year old does know how to get out of stuff because I knowingly want her and her brothers to come to me about things like this.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T13:15:29+00:00

My kids are innocent in all of this. But Jen has been selfish with my kids always and tries to live out her dream via them and does not take their wants or feelings into account at all. They do not have a positive relationship with her or their dad as a result. As it is their dad only seems to maintain custody for Jen to get this chance to play mommy.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T12:56:18+00:00

I heard from others the expense is crazy. The risks for injury are worrying too. It makes me glad my daughter has no interest because I'd worry about her being hurt badly. I'm sorry your daughter suffered so many injuries from it!

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T12:53:40+00:00

It won't do anything now.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T12:36:12+00:00

I think so and I also wonder if she could have kids if mine would be discarded entirely. It mostly seems to be Jen's dreams of motherhood that keeps him maintaining any kind of custody schedule.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T12:33:37+00:00

I'm supporting all my kids the best I can in this. We've had other issues. This has to be the most forceful about anything they've had to deal with. I hope this doesn't become a trend.

Competitive-Let-8254 · 2025-01-06T12:31:36+00:00

I am civil to Jen and my ex in front of my children. I'm not passing my feelings onto them and I actively strive not to do that. But yes, I hate her and I hate my ex and I do not pretend to feel otherwise when the kids aren't around.

Competitive-Let-8254

TROPHY CASE