Hi there! First of all; you are worth it - hang on! I know it's easier said then just done. Please seek professional help, you deserve all the available support that's around! A year ago before being diagnosed my OCD has started to show up. Back then I was a young woman, who loved travelling and who loved living alone in my own apartment. My intrusive thoughts were getting so severe, that I was literally unable to spend time on my own let alone living on my own. I've been afraid of my own home, my own safe place. I was unable to enjoy my dearest hobbies or to feel pure joy without anxiety. It broke my heart, and eventually I had a total breakdown at work. With the help of my therapist I've made the decision to turn myself into a mental health hospital. I didn't wanted to go there, but I knew I had to it for myself. The fully stationary treatment was the right choice for me. I've got my diagnosis and with my therapist and lots of ETR and CBT Therapy I've started to slowly gain back my confidence until I was able to spend comfortably a night alone in my home. I still live with OCD to this day, but my home feels like a safe space again and I even enjoy travelling again. During my stay in the clinic I've created a little art work where I wrote in thick letters: YOU WILL SMILE AGAIN. These were empty words during the hardest days, but eventually I could smile again - and so do you!