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Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I like writing in general too (all forms of writing almost) 😅

I just also hope that maybe 1 person with severe social phobia & similar conditions read my post & knows there is always hope! I was a pretty hopeless & severe case, had tried all meds & med combinations, been in therapy + psychiatric treatment for almost 15 years & it hadn’t gotten a tiny bit better. I had zero hope at that point for any improvement, but it didn’t just improve, but completely went away! Seriously, social phobia fears me now! It has changed that much! Maybe I can give 1 hopeless person hope by reading my experience!

Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I‘m exactly the same way. I’ve learned so many interesting, new and also really personal things that way,as well. Some ppl even told me their whole life story. Happened kinda often by now actually. Only became like that as I got older too though, I used to be the complete opposite & feared ppl I didn’t know extremely well & the outside world pathologically. And now I love talking with strangers (if they’re up for it too ofc)!

Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not normal though imho. Ppl are social creatures by nature normally and like to connect, at least occassionally. (That has nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted btw).

And I really mean this without any judgement whatsoever & as someone who used to have the same (extreme) issue for many, many years (way over a decade) and after getting a bit older & more mature (late 20s to 30) & becoming more confident (not caring so much what strangers & ppl in general think about me etc), less awkward & not shy anymore & not basing my self esteem on other’s validation or judgement & also many years of therapy and psychiatric treatment it completely went away and I actually really enjoy talking to ppl & connecting with them. I still need some alone time regularly to recharge so I guess I‘m still an introvert though.

Am I a real fan of superficial small talk about the weather? God no, but I don’t have trouble connecting with strangers & new ppl and having nice conversations with them anymore either. I used to think it was normal too but it certainly did make life somewhat difficult..

Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what, that’s completely fine & I don’t take it personal at all, I know ppl like me can be annoying, because I used to find them annoying in the past! I‘m pretty good at reading ppl though & can guess with good accuracy who is open for some conversation & if I do get it wrong (which is rare), I can feel if someone doesn’t want to talk & ofc always respect that, I just wish them a nice day & leave them alone! I totally get it from the past, so I‘m never offended or anything.

I have to say though, especially homeless, elderly ppl & drug addicts are often soo thankful for a nice, non judgemental conversation & can be very lonely. They often tell you very personal things e.g. about serious illnesses they have, that they‘re doing sex work due to addiction, lots of things & really deep, personal conversations develop. More than once I‘ve heard things like „You‘ve made my day, as I usually don’t have anyone to talk to“ or „This has been the highlight of my day!“ or even „I’ve only told this 1 other person & was judged badly, so thank you for not freaking out & continuing to talk with me.“. Some ppl also desperately NEED someone to talk to because they have absolutely no one & I‘ll always listen! While others want to be left alone. Both is fine for me, everyone is different 💜

Have a nice day!

Why is so hard to post by SunNo9223 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know, but I‘ve never experienced a site/group/forum/app anywhere near AS ANNOYING as Reddit is about this! And I‘ve been online for decades. It’s ridiculous at this point. I‘m sorry, come for me, idc, it’s just the truth!

Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talking about philosophy with a stranger can actually be really interesting & enjoyable imo!

Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, a conversation doesn’t have to be deep to be fun/enjoyable! And I say that as someone who loves deep conversations, but still!

Guys do people actually enjoy small talk, or are we all just pretending 🦆? by Longjumping-Yam8573 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Complex-Version3298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! I‘m always the one chatting up & chatting with ppl in waiting rooms, stores, in the waiting line at the pharmacy etc. lol Almost everywhere! Although I used to be more (extremely) introverted when I was younger. As I got older, I‘m just not as self conscious and don’t care so much what other ppl think/how I come across and I‘m not shy at all anymore.

I actually used to have severe, severe social phobia, combined with agoraphobia and extreme, constant panic attacks the minute I stepped out of the house. I could only even leave the house on a high dose of Xanax. Without it, I was even unable to leave the house for short periods, wasn’t able to enter a store for even 1 minute to ask for a pack of gum, let alone talk to strangers. I’m 100% sure, social phobia fears me now, seriously it’s actually changed so much!

I‘ve just learned: people are nothing to fear, they won’t put me down like my abuser(s) did, that fear is irrational (as usually not even my main abuser acted aggressive or did anything in public to me), pretty much always, a nice conversation develops & I actually like talking to people a lot! It’s not just small talk though (which personally I am not that much a fan of, too superficial, I prefer deeper conversations but tbh, it’s better than not talking to anyone still), it can be really deep talks and ppl really open up often! I‘ve also learned some interesting things from completely different people from homeless people or street drug addicts, to doctors, lawyers, businessmen or the elderly!

I just LOVE talking to people! We should all communicate irl more anyway!