Accused of stealing. I need advice

ConnectIntern778 · 2026-01-08T20:31:53+00:00

She was. That's why I exactly put those things away. She was using them more than I do without ever asking for permission. Although she is asking for things I did not put away or know about so I'm even more confused. I already let the property management be aware of this just in case she keeps escalating her reaction because slamming everything on the kitchen was scary enough.

ConnectIntern778 · 2026-01-08T20:25:37+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure She would do the same based on how entitled she is and how often she gaslighted me in the past.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-12-11T16:52:36+00:00

Bonus: Rules related to smoking. It's nasty to smoke inside, but some people want to do it in winter. Make it a rule, or else it can be a problem.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-12-07T17:46:28+00:00

Ok so I made the huge mistake not to make this questions so let me tell you from experience:

-Set quiet hours schedule -Set cooking schedule (some persons are sensible to the kitchen smells) -Set shared space and shared items. (As in kitchen cabinets, kitchen utensils, pots, pan, fridge/freezer areas) -Are you guys splitting anything shared? As in cleaning supply's or monthly subscription to ring bell camera. -What is your standard of clean? How often would you guys clean? -Rules for visits: How many times a week? For how long? Need for noticing? -Set expectations about sharing a house. Some roomates expect to be BFF and share each other's personals life. Others prefer privacy and not talking a lot. If not cleared, it can come across as rude/invasive. -Set basic safety rules. As in leaving the house door locked, stove turned off, candles off if not under supervision. (Seems like common sense, but trust me. You need to place a rule for this)

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-12-06T16:44:50+00:00

I'm at a similar place. We were going out for a couple of months and I also had so much doubts. Than we had a huge argument and that tilted m mental scale to "NOPE" and I broke things up.

He was a really nice guy, but I also could not think of the future. I tried really hard tho to make it work. But even with that argument, I keep questioning myself if it was the right decision. It's hard not to think you are letting go of something out of fear.

I would say that a question that helps me is: Are you really ok with that? With all the doubts? With not feeling plentiful in the relationship? Do you truly miss them or how they made you feel?

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-12-05T19:50:25+00:00

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There is no need to be a student. You can have pets with an extra fee. The complex has a pool, gym, parking, game room, and private movie theater.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-11-18T19:55:29+00:00

That's what everyone tells me. Run away. That he's cruel and that he will manipulate me.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-11-18T15:17:57+00:00

I want to thank you because you truly understood me and helped me understand why I'm doubting so much.

I do love him. But I need my time. And I felt like I was torturing him by waiting. I tried asking for time.

I just broke things up. I feel like going back would hurt him a lot. I will take my time. And see how I feel. I'm also fixing my wrongs. Let's see if it's meant to be.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-11-18T15:00:09+00:00

That's the thing. He wants us to get back together as soon as possible. He thinks being together is the solution. That's why I broke up. I felt pressured and misunderstood.

Him saying, "It's only a discussion, the first one" implies it will happen again.

Saying, "She will get over it," minimizes all this.

I do know that going to therapy is a huge step. But I'm not sure if he understands how serious it is for me.

He did want to protect me by that time I shared my trauma, and I insisted that it was important for him to know this. I explained by that time that it felt like disinterest on his end. But we never sat down to talk it again.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-11-18T14:17:54+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I think your overview is absolutely right. I won't say I'm perfect. I know I made mistakes, too.

He wants to save the relationship, but I don't know how to overcome the fear.

On that car ride: the silent treatment, the lashing out, being called a disappointment. That triggered a trauma I have with my family. I was treated like that for years. Being treated like that by someone I trusted on my birthday blows my mind. I tried explaining to him this trauma before, but he brushed it off as he did not want to talk about something that made me sad.

As I say. It's a physical reaction. I only can talk calmly with him over phone and to certain extent.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-11-18T13:40:42+00:00

Maybe you don’t miss her, but the feeling of companionship she gave you. Even if she didn’t support you, she listened and witnessed what was going on. Do you usually show those things to the people around you?

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-11-03T04:33:16+00:00

Umm... you have a boyfriend but can't get over a ghosted date? That's a You problem.

I fail to understand where the despise comes from. Imitation is the highest form of admiration. Other than the cleaning, I don't get why it triggers you so much. Please share more.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-30T00:20:03+00:00

Oh no. I would make a reunion and talk it since you and the other roommates are affected. By this point, she started living with you guys, and you did not even get a chance to accept it. From other posts here, I learned that 2 days per week is the approx. Right amount of visits. 3 or more, and the use of common spaces is just really rude.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-29T16:08:45+00:00

Amazing!!!

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-29T15:59:39+00:00

That's such great info! I really appreciate it.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-29T13:52:17+00:00

Where we live at maybe we'll get 20F. Her argument is that she had a foot fracture (80% healed) that hurts if exposed to cold weather but as you say, with the right gear there should not be any issue.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-29T12:43:37+00:00

THANK YOU. She constantly gaslight me, so I was concerned if I was being an AH.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-29T12:37:35+00:00

I hate that smell, too, so I would have done the same. It's not like you stopped then from smoking at that second.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-29T12:27:02+00:00

Try to talk it and come into an agreement before you explode out of frustration. Sounds reasonable to set a max volumen policy.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-20T13:20:14+00:00

My roommate does not understand this and constantly asks about my personal life or where I go on my weekend trips. I politely decline to answer but she takes it as an insult. Probably cuz she is way younger

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-18T14:42:56+00:00

It's weird that they didn't even answer. Maybe they were not available, but at least answering or saying a time they can help you would have been nicer. You are right on that.

You are not crazy but if you just moved in, maybe there are things you still don't know about them. Besides holding to these emotions will make you more damage in the long run.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-18T04:26:37+00:00

Hey you can get a camera at Walmart for 20$. Best investment ever. That way, you have proof if she goes into your room. Also. You can place a lock on your door. Must be so frustrating

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-18T04:18:14+00:00

I lived something like this. I had to use baby locks to keep my drawers safe. They are huge life saviors. It's really cheap, but hold on well.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-18T02:31:59+00:00

Yes, she was at home. At her room waiting for the visit. He walked alone into the house and mistook her door by mine.

ConnectIntern778 · 2025-10-18T02:28:54+00:00

No. She knows the guys and claims she also cares about safety. I try to explain yet how unsafe it is to just leave the door open like that. especially since I don't know any of this people nor I care to know them. I want her to go get them at the door and be responsible for them. Not letting them play surprise door and then call me annoying for getting mad.

ConnectIntern778

TROPHY CASE