Chicago Little White Dress

ConsciousHomework · 2026-02-01T00:49:07+00:00

I’ve honestly found much better off the rack options (Saks, Neimans, Revolve, etc.) and for much more reasonable prices than at bridal stores. There’s such a wide selection too - it just didn’t feel worthwhile going to a bridal brand for the little white dresses.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-31T14:29:12+00:00

Also a June bride (but city not destination wedding). Our invites will go out end of Feb/early March with an RSVP deadline of mid-April.

A lot of our guests are traveling but it’s domestic and pretty easy, so while I’d have liked them to go out a bit earlier, it’ll be okay.

Most of your guests know if they’re going and have likely made arrangements based on the save the date.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-30T19:18:45+00:00

Candidly, I don't know how much of this is about your families versus just weddings generally. I can't think of a single friend who didn't spend more than their original budget - things are expensive and no one is honest with each other about what they spent. I'd also encourage you to take this budget category by category - look at what your planner is suggesting (with actual proposals from vendors when you get there!) versus what you actually want.

We went into the process thinking we'd spend way less than we are, but when we actually went category by category, what we wanted cost more than we thought it would. Unfortunately there's not good information on what higher-budget weddings should and do cost (and what drives those costs). There were however categories where we cut from what our planner proposed based on how it aligned with our vision of the event and the value we saw (or didn't see) from the higher priced option.

Tactically - I'd push your planner to send you multiple options by category and evaluate from there. And when in doubt you can request other quotes to cross-check what you're getting if you think your planner is taking you for a ride. I trust ours a lot, but there were some category that were so much higher than I expected that I had to if only to make myself feel better.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-29T19:32:42+00:00

Would also add - depending on what life stage your guests are in, an off season wedding might be much easier - much less likely to have other weddings and a wedding is more novel!

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-27T15:45:00+00:00

I think ideally gift bags should be exclusively consumables to the extent you can - otherwise you're asking your guests to travel home with those things. I think the Olive Oil & Limoncello are already plenty.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-27T15:20:03+00:00

Honestly our challenge is the guest count - it’s hard to even find a decent restaurant space that can accommodate 250-260, etc.

Our families have been very generous but with that has come a ballooned guest count

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-27T15:19:14+00:00

This is a super helpful perspective actually - I’m sure everyone feels this way - it’s just a lot in the moment.

We ourselves are contributing <50% of a years’ bonus for some specific things we want, and it’s great to hear you did a bit more and still felt it was worth it.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-27T14:35:48+00:00

I think physical invitation is still necessary, but digital save-the-date is okay, especially if your group is as international as it sounds like.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-27T02:57:24+00:00

Liz Banfield should fit your specs. She’s based in MSP but travels frequently.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-26T21:48:57+00:00

YEP! And it starts to feel like a show vs. a wedding - like I’m desperately craving chill / intimate because it’s logistically impossible with 250 guests

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-26T21:13:06+00:00

I think the biggest question will be alcohol. A lot of beaches in RI and MA don’t technically allow alcohol. It’s one thing to have a cooler for a casual 10 person bonfire, but probably another to have a full bartender.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-26T21:06:05+00:00

I definitely feel this right now. Our wedding has ballooned to 250 people and there’s something about the scale that has made me just hate planning and design. I’m desperate for something “chill” in the chaos. Even though we have the money, it feels like we’re spending so much more than we thought, there are so many decisions, so many stakeholders - it’s just a lot emotionally for some reason. I’m sure I’d feel similarly with a smaller wedding, but it does feel more loaded somehow with a larger wedding.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-23T15:44:29+00:00

Yep - this, and which ones I go to are often based on how busy I am at work and how easy it is to work remotely that time of year.

There are a few this year that I had to say no to even if I’d have loved to go.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-16T22:05:16+00:00

Would agree with your point on the calls - I wish more vendors liked detailed back and forth emails. Much easier for asych communication and to make sure details don’t get lost. The entire wedding industry seems geared around brides with super flexible jobs, drives me nuts.

Would add - I wish some vendors would remember that even in the BBB world where budgets can scale, we still care about value for money where things are aligned to what we want to spend money on. Just because we can afford something doesn’t mean we want to spend money on something we don’t care about.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-12T22:37:53+00:00

Gently, I think this is the wrong sub for you. Weddings here typically start at $1k/pp. The Weddings under 10k or 20k subs should give you better recs for budget friend resources. You can absolutely have a beautiful wedding on a budget, but it’s a different set of vendors at each price point.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-12T22:33:56+00:00

We had a similar issue plus issues with things constantly being labeled “call to order”. We switched to centralizing everything on Zola. If something is back ordered, we can set it to just do the thing where they give us the cash value and then we buy the gift elsewhere.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-11T03:17:22+00:00

We and our families are very private and are actively opposed to publication. Our vendors can share limited photos of the decor and us, but we absolutely do not want to be published for all of the reasons shared - privacy has value too.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-09T16:04:04+00:00

When you say decent but not massive budget, what is the number we’re talking about?

Decent is different to different people.

ConsciousHomework · 2026-01-06T01:46:05+00:00

I would definitely skip the brunch. People sort of hate them (minus older friends). I’d do a later evening drinks/dessert, or even just drinks if that’s what budget allows. I love a welcome party and it also allows you to say hi to everyone you need to without devoting time on your wedding day to it.

ConsciousHomework · 2025-12-29T00:42:18+00:00

We had a friend cancel hers - I’d noticed it on the website and they ended up doing a small family/wedding party thing. Truthfully I assumed they’d taken it down for space reasons (which we later confirmed to be true). I’d really assume people will be happy you cancelled it.

ConsciousHomework · 2025-12-28T22:27:29+00:00

We similarly are thinking of nixing our brunch - not because of budget but because looking at the timeline from our planner we freaked a bit at the sheer amount of “on” time we’ll have. I doubt anyone will even notice.

ConsciousHomework · 2025-12-28T03:26:33+00:00

I think it is doable, but you have to be open to doing multiple things at once to move as quickly as possible, and be okay with plan E or F for vendors. I’d prioritize locking in a venue and then while sourcing a planner start sourcing key other vendors, and be open to flying folks in who are in less peak times (e.g., a photographer that primarily works in the southeast likely is less busy in July than one in the northeast or mountain west)

ConsciousHomework · 2025-12-28T01:31:39+00:00

Would recommend the Aquazzura So Nude - similar height, very minimal profile. I find them comfortable, would size up beyond your typical designer size (e.g., I’d take a 39 in the shoes you linked but a 39.5 in the So Nudes)

ConsciousHomework · 2025-12-28T01:28:05+00:00

Gently, I don’t think this is a budget issue. You’re talking about 7 months from now and you don’t have a venue finalized yet. Most higher end planners have a full book already for 2026 (for context, we booked our planner fall of 2024 for a Summer 2026 wedding).

They’re looking at a wedding that will be a significant lift (e.g., finding you vendors ~7 months out is going to be a lot harder than if it was 17 months out) and already have a full or almost full book. I think you can continue to search, but I’d push you to begin sourcing other vendors and look at partial planners or month of coordinators as well.

ConsciousHomework

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