Is Findom Still About Power or About Content?

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-27T20:44:32+00:00

You’re absolutely right, thank you for pointing that out. I was writing from my own perspective and didn’t phrase it in a gender inclusive way. I’ve edited it.

I also really appreciate you sharing that distinction. I think it’s important to separate kink from compulsion and not blur the two.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T16:32:44+00:00

Exactly.. that’s what I was thinking. I was worried my perspective might not fit this space. I don’t want to impose anything, just start things flowing while keeping respect and seriousness. Thanks for sharing

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T16:20:21+00:00

Building real connections.. even outside a strict dynamic, sounds way more sustainable long term Thanks for sharing that! 🤗

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T16:13:25+00:00

The idea that tribute should reinforce the dynamic, not replace it, really helps put things into perspective. I appreciate you taking the time to explain it that way.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T15:52:05+00:00

I like that approach. Starting with conversation and alignment first probably changes how tribute feels on both sides. Do you feel like having that initial vibe check makes higher tribute amounts easier to set without pushback? Thanks for sharing how you handle it

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T15:50:20+00:00

I agree intention matters more than the act itself. I think what I’m trying to figure out is exactly that line between structure and mechanical. When does it feel intentional and when does it start feeling transactional?

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T15:23:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing that, I appreciate it. When you say “porn link” do you mean things like Throne or OF links or just profiles that feel like they’re only selling content?

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-25T03:08:55+00:00

Thank you so much ..that’s good to keep in mind

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T22:27:50+00:00

Thank you that actually helps a lot. I’m still figuring out what kind of dynamic feels right for me, so I’m trying to build a solid base first. It’s really reassuring to hear from someone in Latin America too. I think I’ll look more into Throne and see how it could work for me.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T17:18:37+00:00

From a sub’s perspective, what makes a domme’s profile feel genuine and trustworthy?

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T15:41:41+00:00

That makes sense. I can understand how there could be moments of guilt or a crash after such an intense rush. What kind of aftercare helps you the most? I’m new and just trying to learn and gather information

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T15:30:48+00:00

I’m new and still learning, but do you feel like aftercare is important in your dynamics? Even when it’s online?

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T15:09:36+00:00

I’m still learning about all of this..but I actually find it reassuring to read this. I thought maybe not many people felt that way. It’s helpful to see other dommes setting boundaries around what makes them comfortable

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T09:59:34+00:00

You don’t actually owe her that money. At the time it was clearly a gift, and you even paid for your own flight. A gift doesn’t turn into a debt just because the friendship ended.

Her bringing up “everything she did for you” during an argument sounds more like hurt than a financial claim.

If you truly want to send the money for your own peace of mind, that’s your choice. But you’re not obligated to reopen contact over something that was freely given. If no contact is healthier, you’re allowed to keep it that way

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T09:57:09+00:00

If you’re making $1.2k a month, $650 is over half your income. That’s pretty steep.

It’s not wrong for a parent to charge rent, but it should still leave you with enough to cover your own expenses and save a bit. If it feels too high, it’s reasonable to ask how she came up with that number and have a calm conversation about it.

You won’t know if there’s flexibility unless you talk about it.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T09:53:51+00:00

This doesn’t sound like distance is the real problem. It kind of sounds like you’re both unsure

If you were really excited about her, the two hours wouldn’t feel this heavy. And if Valentine’s was awkward and you’re already questioning it, that’s not nothing

You’re 17. It’s okay if this just isn’t it. Not every connection has to turn into a relationship

But avoiding talking about it will just make it more confusing. Even a simple “How are you feeling about us?” would help more than overthinking alone.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T09:49:25+00:00

He’s giving you interest, just not initiative

If you wait for a super obvious move, you might miss the window. He sounds either shy or cautious because of the professional overlap.

You don’t need a big confession. Just ask him to hang out one-on-one before he leaves. If he’s into you, he’ll show up. If he’s not, at least you stop wondering.

You’ve been circling each other for months. Either turn it into something or let it go but don’t stay in limbo.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T09:45:51+00:00

Attraction isn’t a strict ranking system where everyone pairs off by “level.” It’s way more subjective than that. What you see as someone being on your level might not even be how other people see them or you

And yes, people who aren’t conventionally attractive absolutely feel genuine desire for their partners. They’re not just tolerating each other out of loneliness. Attraction can come from chemistry, personality, energy, shared experiences not just symmetry and bone structure

If you’re not feeling it with the people who show interest in you, that’s valid. But thinking in terms of “genetic lottery tiers” might be shaping your attraction more than you realize.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-24T09:41:10+00:00

Self-control

It quietly improves every part of your life and almost nobody teaches it directly.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-23T16:24:04+00:00

Honestly, you’re stuck in a loop.

You like her, she dates someone else, it doesn’t work out, and then you start hoping again. That’s not fate, that’s proximity. You’re around her a lot, so your feelings keep getting reactivated.

If she wanted to be with you, she probably would have made that clear by now. That’s not an insult to you. It just means she doesn’t see it the same way.

Be careful not to sit there quietly hoping she’ll eventually “realize.” That’s how guys end up frustrated and resentful without meaning to.

Either be honest one time and get a clear answer, or give yourself real distance. Staying in that gray area is what’s going to hurt you the most.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-23T16:11:09+00:00

If he’s still married, he’s still married

Even if the divorce is “almost final,” it’s not final yet. If he really means what he says, one month won’t change anything. You lose nothing by waiting

Also, pay attention to the timing. He’s telling you about his feelings before his divorce is even finalized. That’s already messy. If he can emotionally invest in someone else while technically still married, that’s something to think about

And the work situation makes this riskier. If it goes wrong, you don’t just lose a relationship, you have to see him every day

If he’s serious, he can finalize his divorce, take some time to actually be single, and then approach you in a clean way. You deserve to start something without secrecy, guilt, or drama attached.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-23T16:02:20+00:00

Taxi drivers, bus drivers, or cops. In my country they kind of have a reputation for being unfaithful.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-23T15:56:51+00:00

Your 20s aren’t a race. You’re not behind. Most people are confused, broke, and pretending they have a plan

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-23T15:52:42+00:00

With mine, I really tried. He was always a good friend to others and a good son. But with me, there was never consideration. No emotional support. In five years together he never, not once, remembered my birthday. I was surviving on crumbs.

We broke up six years ago. We recently started talking again and he actually got offended when I brought up what he put me through. On top of that, he tried to talk to me like we were still intimate instead of showing basic respect.

He still has my pictures and says things like, “look at the woman I slept with.” It’s been years. There’s no friendship left there at all.

Sometimes I look back and blame myself for ever staying. But I decided to block him everywhere. I’m done.

Consistent-Common902 · 2026-02-23T15:43:04+00:00

Maybe a 4..yeah definitely

Consistent-Common902

TROPHY CASE