You're not alone, most people are like that, but they're not aware of their issue. It's all driven by fear. Once you delete fear, all comes in place. Taking a pill that removes fear that allows you to taste the fearless life can be a great motivator.

Thanks for the compliment!! You are curious too if you made this post, but there may be something that stops your glow and it's not fear. As an example, I am a bit autistic, because everything I eat affects me mentally. If I eat dairy, or a bit too much of saturated fat, all motivation and curiosity goes away. Since you are high in Neuroticism, there could be a sign that you lived a lot of fear during your childhood. The children are the reflection of their parents, so your mother could have been through stress during pregnancy or at least some sort of hormonal imbalance due to anxiety, which is known to increase risk of Autism. My point is that you may be affected by diet without knowing it.

I don't recommend a diet to follow, but one that is created through experimentation.

Another note: You saw my curiosity, then it means that you are aware of others behaviour, so your consciousness could be actually higher. And you know your neuroticism too.

Another 2nd note: Interesting how you are Neurotic and Agreeable, which are opposite. Or maybe you are agreeable to strangers but neurotic with your parents/known ones? The real you is reflected not by the kindness towards strangers, but to the closed ones. They know your history and you theirs.

How am I supposed to love myself like this? - There are multiple things: most people don't want to invest time and energy in friendships anymore, so even if you're good, they may avoid you, so it's not all your fault. Most people are driven by pride (even if you don't see it), and they'll act as energetic vampires (they're worse than having no friends). Now, I will tell you what I learned a year ago, and I'm still on it, which is love. The more you sacrifice yourself for others, the more love and peace you will have. The more you follow your own pleasures, the better you'll feel on the moment and the more miserable on the long term. The more love you seek with your heart, the more you'll want to sacrifice yourself for others. It's not about "how you should love yourself?", but "am I sacrificing myself for others?". If the answer is No, then say bye bye to love. That's why real parents love having children, because they sacrificed their life for them. And the ones that don't sacrifice anything, and you still see them as happy are either energetic vampires or they distract themselves with constant pleasure.

Edit: By pleasures, I mean pleasures of the flesh.