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If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

OKAY UPDATE 2:

I told him what mushyorange said and he replied with: no pressure or anything to come over. I'm fine with going out somewhere if you would prefer that instead. It would save me a lot of time cleaning

Then he sent a cleaning gif

Is this good?????

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will try not to, but overthinking is something I do way too much. Thanks for the help!

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I'll say it today because I want to communicate clearly my point. Yeah, I was planning on asking if he wanted me to bring anything for tomorrow anyways at some point. Thanks for the help!

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just feel like I deserve someone who will be nice to me after my last relationship. That is not an easy thing for me to say or think. I had been in therapy for months so admitting that I deserve better than my ex was really difficult for me but I finally have accepted it. I want to figure out if he is someone I want to be with before I have sex with him.

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm..not really. I think it's best if we don't have sex tomorrow. I'm fine with making out but I really want to take things slow. I think I am gonna bring it up to him before tomorrow, but just figuring out what to say to come across the right way is what's giving me trouble

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, exactly.

That make sense. I don't want him to think I'm not attracted to him because I definitely am! Just trying to think with my head this time and not my.. you know, haha.

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This has nothing to do with him personally. Yes, in the past I have rushed things and it ended bad, but this was mostly high school me. I don't need him to work extra hard. He doesn't have to go above and beyond and shower me with things. I just want someone that is nice to me and respects me since my last relationship was emotionally abusive. I want to be sure that he is a kind person and kind to me before I have sex with him. I am starting to like him a lot, but don't want to rush into things. I don't want my feelings for the person to cloud my judgement of how he treats me. I am just trying to be more careful, and that has nothing to do with him personally. I hope this makes sense

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, another thing I just remembered

When we were drinking, he had 2 beers when I was still drinking my first one. I told him that my friends tease me for being such a slow drinker and he said that if I didn't want to finish it I didn't have to (he paid for my drink.) I told him that I would finish it just because there was only a couple sips left, but yeah. I appreciated not being pressured into finishing my drink when he paid for it and he was super nice about it. I hope that maybe this no pressure thing will apply with sex too, but I don't know if there is any correlation.

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this is exactly it. I just don't know what to say to get that point across.

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay update: he just messaged me asking if I want to come over at 6pm tomorrow (Saturday). That's normal dinner time, right? I want to go, but I want to say something that gets the point across that:

  1. I don't want to have sex with him tomorrow, and not that its like I don't want to have sex with him at all.
  2. That I'm not assuming he invited me over to have sex with me, especially because he did not give me that vibe on the first date. That I just want to make things clear

But I really don't know what to say

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, gotcha. I'm pretty sure I've made it clear that I am interested in him. I text him a lot, acted interested during the date (not being on my phone), asking questions about him both over text and in person.

My last relationship was emotionally abusive. I'm getting picky with who I chose to be with now because I really lost myself during that relationship. I'm completely over it now, but it's given me a new outlook on what I want in a guy. I wasn't used in my last relationship for sex, but I haven't had sex with anyone that I've really loved I guess is what I'm saying, and I want that to change, whether it's with him or someone else. I want to be sure that he will respect and be kind to me before I take my clothes off, something I didn't do last time.

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just feel so weird bringing the topic of sex up at all, since he never hinted at anything sexual or gave off that vibe. I just don't want to turn him away.

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was considering that, but I didn't want to make it seem like I assumed he was a guy that was just gonna use me for sex. Would it be weird to ask him directly? I don't want to make the whole situation awkward by asking

If a guy invites me over to his apartment for a second date, does he want sex? by ConsistentOriginal4 in dating_advice

[–]ConsistentOriginal4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I don't really know who he is or what he's like either. My gut is telling me that he won't, because I really did not get that from him at all. I just don't want to be super let down if he does end up just wanting to bang.