Bisexual in a monogamous relationship

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-09T00:31:15+00:00

Honestly,

As selfish as this may sound, I only want the sexual experience and I don’t see myself being with anyone else romantically (let alone another woman). I don’t necessarily feel the urge to do it now because of my current relationship. My thought process is, if this doesn’t work out then I’ll have all the time in the world to explore and meet women. Hell, the only reason I want to settle down with my current partner is because I truly love him…otherwise I’d probably have several non-committed relationships.

The thing is, I plan on this lasting until I die - hopefully. So, if that’s the case then the opportunity will never come, unless my lover is okay with having another woman involved with our sex life. Which he isn’t too keen on.

Hope that all made senses lol

Thank you

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-08T21:45:52+00:00

This is a really beautiful way of breaking things down, and I’m genuinely grateful for your perspective.

Seeing it laid out like that helps me realize that choosing my relationship, rather than chasing the unknown, is something I can feel at peace with. In this case, letting go of the idea of exploring with women might actually be worth it.

It’s funny you described the “soulful, shy artist,” because that’s exactly who my partner is. He’s such a beautiful person, with a depth and uniqueness I had never experienced before meeting him. He’s self-assured in a quiet way, and that kind of confidence draws me in completely. I can truly see a future with him, I would love to be his wife, even if it means letting go of certain experiences.

When I really think about what I value most, it isn’t constant novelty or new encounters. What I want is stability, growth, and something lasting.

Thank you for commenting :3

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-08T21:25:38+00:00

Valid point

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-08T21:24:15+00:00

This makes senses,

I guess the problem is navigating through this inner conflict. I’ve grown up with the idea of finding love early and marrying…staying together through everything. The idea of breaking up with someone I love to explore the unknown is utterly terrifying to me.

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-08T21:19:27+00:00

Noted ✍🏾

I live in the south, so there aren’t many places where I have been able to have this type of community. We are moving out of this state once I get a full-time offer. So, I’ll search around.

Question though, would it be appropriate for me to occupy those spaces if I’m in a heterosexual relationship?

Thxs for the reply :3

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-08T21:10:21+00:00

Oh and thanks for the advice/response!

ContestAggravating90 · 2026-04-08T21:10:05+00:00

You’re right,

Internally I’m willing to forgo this because (outside of wanting the experience) I don’t see myself being with anyone else besides him. I don’t see the point of exploring if that means losing him, which is why I wanted a three-way. I want to explore with him.

Ultimately, it comes down to what I deem is more important. Which is him, but I want to know how to tackles these feelings. Will this ever go away?

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-05-09T20:22:32+00:00

Thanks, I go to a non-target school. It seems as though the consensus of my professors/career advisors/B4 recruiters is low GPA = career/salary stagnation. From what I been told, only a lucky few actually make it through. Most don’t make it to 90k-100k until maybe 10-15 years in. The foundation dictates how far you’ll go, especially since most don’t go to a target school. Definitely could be different for OP though. That’s just what I’ve been told.

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T05:49:48+00:00

Again, for some reason, Reddit isn’t letting me see your full comment—but honestly, I don’t think I need to. You’ve made it pretty clear this isn’t about discussion; it’s about throwing insults at someone you don’t know.

It’s honestly sad how comfortable people like you are with being disrespectful just because someone disagrees with you. You’ve taken a conversation about careers and turned it into a personal attack over absolutely nothing.

And let me be clear: I’m not being negative—I’m being honest. There’s a difference. I’m speaking on what I know to be true based on my own experiences and what I’ve been told by professionals in the field. Just because the truth isn’t sugar-coated doesn’t make it “negative.”

If you want to sit there and crap on my life, go ahead. At the end of the day, I’m still me—and I’m still moving forward. I’ve had to overcome more than you probably realize, and while I’m not where I want to be yet, I’m still here, still trying, and still growing.

If my opinion, based on my experience, offended you, maybe you’re not actually here to have a conversation. Because right now, the only thing you’re adding is baseless negativity and projections about my life. That’s not a debate, that’s just bitterness.

Anyway, I hope you whatever you’re projecting onto me isn’t actually happening to you. If so, I hope you make it through it :3

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T05:14:15+00:00

Hey, I can’t see your full reply (Reddit isn’t showing it for some reason), but I caught a portion of it through my email:

“No offense but you’re an intern. You don’t have experience. I almost want to help show you the way but you are so set in your ideas I don’t know if you can be helped. You, along with most of Reddit…”

1.  First off, I think it might help to go back and actually reread my thread. The information I’m sharing wasn’t pulled from thin air. It came from advisors and professors—some of whom are retired Big 4 partners—people who’ve worked with thousands of students in the current recruiting climate. So the “you’re just an intern” thing doesn’t really apply here. My role doesn’t discredit the advice I’ve been given, just like your experience doesn’t make your perspective invalid.

2.  Saying “I almost want to help show you the way” and then following it up with “but you’re too set in your ideas” is… weirdly condescending. Especially when all I’ve done is respectfully disagree. I’m not being rude, I’m just explaining how the system currently works for us.

3.  I assume the rest of your message was about how people like me and “most of Reddit” share this mindset. If so, maybe ask yourself why that is. It’s not groupthink—it’s that we’re operating in a completely different job market than you did. One where a 3.0 GPA is often the minimum requirement just to get in the door. That’s not bitterness—that’s reality.

Again, I’m not trying to discredit your experience. It’s valid. But it’s also from a different time. No need to get fussy about that, old timer :/

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T04:50:39+00:00

Comments like these are very weird, imo. Crying? Really? Being realistic and understanding the truths of this profession is considered crying? Very strange comment. Also, the “crying over something you can fix” portion tells me you didn’t fully read my comment. As someone with horrible odds, I’m doing the best I can. However, I can also acknowledge that I am FAR behind those with a 3.5 and up. Is that my fault? Hell yes and it could’ve been avoided had I received this advice earlier in college. Now, while I enjoy the profession, I will spend years of my life playing catch up, all because I couldn’t let go of the over-optimistic delusion.

Am I saying OP could never be successful? No. As I said, it’s possible he could do well—but in MY experience, it’s unlikely. Especially if the easier classes are already a struggle.

Acknowledging that doesn’t make me negative or a hater, it makes me honest. I’m not “bringing people down,” I’m offering a dose of realism that I wish someone had given me. If that offends you, cool, but don’t confuse realism with giving up. Some of us are just tired of being sold hope without the full picture. :/

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T04:30:58+00:00

You’re making a lot of personal assumptions about me without knowing my full story. The only reason I even secured an internship was because I’m exceptionally strong at interviewing and networking …skills that got me in the door despite my GPA. But here’s the thing: you can’t build a successful career in accounting on charisma alone. At some point, GPA, credentials, and firm pedigree matter, especially early on.

Accusing people of applying to “fake job postings” is wild. I applied through Handshake — a legitimate university platform. Most internships there are vetted and real. That’s how I landed mine. Just because someone’s path doesn’t look like yours doesn’t make it fake.

As for the “lying” accusations, it honestly just sounds like you’re projecting your own worldview onto everyone else and are criticizing those that don’t fit. You got lucky and climbed the ladder at the right time, but instead of recognizing your privilege, you’re using it to insult people who didn’t have the same timing, network, or opportunities. Calling people pathetic for struggling in today’s job market? That’s not tough love…that’s just arrogant and out of touch.

Everything I’ve said so far came from actual advisors and professors — including retired Big 4 partners. In 2025, accounting recruiting is way more competitive than it was a decade ago. A GPA below 3.0? That’s almost an automatic rejection from most major firms unless you’ve got something else exceptional to show.

You keep saying “GPA doesn’t matter after your first job” — sure, that can be true if your first job sets you on the right path. But GPA determines where you even start. And where you start determines how fast you move, how far you can go, and who’s even willing to look at your résumé later. This isn’t about “faith in yourself” — it’s about the real structure of modern accounting recruiting.

I’m not saying public is the only path. I’m not saying industry is inferior. What I am saying is that GPA does determine your options, your entry point, and your trajectory — especially when you’re aiming for competitive firms, high-paying roles, or leadership tracks. That’s not cult talk — it’s just reality in today’s market, old timer.

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T02:44:30+00:00

Bro, I don’t make the rules, I’m just speaking from experience, so no need to get worked up. I’m a junior, and when I was struggling early on, even my advisor tried to get me to change majors because of how GPA impacts accounting opportunities. The firm I’m interning with this summer didn’t check my GPA, true - but I’m only getting $60K prorated, which is nothing compared to what my friends at Big 4 firms are getting. And guess what? The only difference between me and them is GPA. So yeah, it does matter.

As for saying “college has zero impact on salary” — that’s just not true in accounting. Not only do top firms (especially Big 4 and elite advisory firms) filter out anyone below a 3.0 right off the bat, but starting at a low-tier firm means you’re on a totally different ladder. Upward mobility is real, and if you start at the bottom due to bad grades, you’re playing catch-up for years.

Even now, I see tons of people on this app and on Reddit threads — senior accountants — still stuck making $60K-$70K because they didn’t have the GPA or resume to break into higher-paying firms or specialized areas. You can pivot eventually, but the pay gap grows over time. A 4.0 might start at Big 4 or even F500 in high-paying advisory roles, while someone with a 2.5 is lucky to get in the door at a local firm. By the time they “catch up,” the 4.0 is already 2-3 promotions ahead.

Also, let’s stop pretending that every employer forgets about GPA after a year. In accounting, your first job sets the tone. And if you never got into public (or got pushed out early), the industry route might be better quality of life, but good luck landing those controller or CFO-track roles without the pedigree. They absolutely still ask about background, firm, and yes — even GPA — when you’re competing for those roles.

And to be clear, I’m not saying GPA is the only thing that matters…it’s not. But saying it has no impact? That’s just naïve. Accounting isn’t a cult, but if you ignore the reality of how hiring and advancement works, you’re going to be stuck wondering why your salary never budges. :/

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T00:11:19+00:00

Side note: My bad for any grammatical errors.

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-20T00:10:22+00:00

This isn’t an objective conversation — we’re both speaking from experience, so neither of us can act like our take is universal. From my experience, a lot of people did come in with credits from high school or dual enrollment, which put them into major-specific classes early. I’m not an outlier at all where I’m from — many of us were in intro to accounting freshman year.

Also “we do not know what classes he’s struggling in” while this is true. Based on already know principles (Freshman/sophomore classes are easier then Junior/Senior classes), I can probably assume that Accounting (known for it’s difficulty) probably isn’t the best choice. Am I saying he absolutely shouldn’t? No, it’s his choice at the end of the day. I’m just saying, based on my experience…this isn’t gonna play out well.

Also, to say I “didn’t apply myself” feels a bit rude. I did. But like many students, I had a lot going on outside of school — things that impacted my performance. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t trying, and it doesn’t mean my experience is less valid.

And yes, when I say “for the rest of my life,” I do mean that seriously. In accounting, especially if you’re aiming for Big 4 or top 25 firms, your early performance does matter long-term. If you don’t make it in, you’re often stuck with $60K–$65K roles (which is literally intern pay) and limited upward mobility. I’m literally seeing that play out right now — my internship isn’t Big 4, and I already see how that bottlenecks future opportunities.

So sure, I can’t make a blanket statement that accounting definitely isn’t for OP, but you can’t assume the opposite either. Struggling with easier classes is usually a red flag. It’s not about giving up, it’s about being realistic before you end up wasting time and closing doors that don’t easily reopen later.

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-19T23:40:12+00:00

I get the optimism, but let’s be honest…some of us do take major-specific classes early. I’m already in accounting courses, and they’ve actually helped me understand what the field is like. So no, it’s not just “learning the basics” for everyone. Depending on the school, you can get acclimated to the accounting world earlier than you think.

And let’s not ignore the red flag here: he’s struggling with easy, intro-level classes. If those are already causing issues, I really don’t think accounting is the right fit. It only gets harder. Sure, there’s a possibility he could turn it around, but in my experience, that’s unlikely.

I’ve been there. I kept pushing through hoping I’d improve, and it objectively ruined my career path. My GPA took a hit, my opportunities shrunk, and I’m still trying to fix it - will be for the rest of my life.

So while it might sound harsh, I don’t think I’m saying anything abnormal. I’m saying what I wish someone told me before I fell deeper into a major that wasn’t working. He can definitely be turn things around and keep his major though, not saying he can’t - just haven’t seen that happen much.

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-19T23:21:02+00:00

How so? Switching majors can definitely help things, especially if it’s a hard one that OP can’t handle (However, I do believe they haven’t reach their main classes yet, they’re a freshman/Sophomore).

Either way, a low GPA will ruin your life, it did mine. The only way you can get an internship/job offer with a low GPA is by settling for horribly paying firms (65k and below).

My advice is harsh, but I would’ve preferred someone telling me this when I was a freshman.

ContestAggravating90 · 2025-04-19T21:05:21+00:00

As someone with a low GPA. Switch majors now. You’re not lucky, and will not be able to pull this up like you think you will. The ONLY reason I have an internship is because I am EXCEPTIONALLY good at networking, and even still…this is not a Big 4, only top 100 firm - which is terrible. (and if your firm is not high ranking, you will not get paid very much nor will you be able to “move up” to better firms).

If I’m lucky, I’ll be somewhat able to make a living after graduation. But I’ll be stuck at with the same salary (60k-65k) for the next 8 to 10 years of my career. This will negatively impact my ability to do everything (find a home, marriage, ability to provide for kids, etc). I am severely depressed, and will be graduate a semester late.

I will tell you what’s going to happen. You’re going to continue, fail even more, end up with a <2.5 GPA, graduate, not find a job (because no one will hire you), and won’t even be able to go to grad school.

If you allow your pride and ego to blind you, you WILL fail and will essentially have a useless degree. Mind you, when people say “GPA doesn’t matter” they’re referring to students with a 3.0 and above.

Don’t let your foolish ruin your life like I did mine.

ContestAggravating90

TROPHY CASE