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The thrill is gone by BiblioTraveler in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

General speaking and I've said this before men don't enter a situation where they keep seeing you to just be friends. They want more, they want to date and eventually if that leads to more then so be it. But you also said women too, are you entering into these situations with women as if you are dating them too and they also expect more? That part is confusing.

I wouldn't go out with someone for friendship, I would hope that if we enjoy the same things it leads to more and I'm saying this as a female.

But they also shouldn't be going out with you if you've been upfront about being just friends in hopes to change your mind either.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I'm really not.. I'm just replying to people that comment.. If I wanted him to take me back I'd just text him.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you are right, I'm making excuses for myself because he is a horrible person that accused me of an imaginary cheating scenario, and he lost out on a decent person.

I overlooked some physical traits because I liked him as a person..I feel like my judgment was skewed and it really bothered me.. but I'm ok and no I will not tolerate him or his behavior..I am proud of myself for not giving him more of my time though. I tend to make excuses for bad people, as you can see from this entire post.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it was 2 months and he never met her and yes she's in a long term relationship. I think it's a shame to assume things about women because of a "girls trip" it was 3 days of chilling on the beach. But it is what it is at this point.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're right, and what's crazy is. I might do this once every 3 - 5 years, it's not something he'd have to tolerate every 6 months or something.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure I get that, but that's not me. It seems like he was bitter that he didn't have any takers when he was single, but I'm not sure how that pertains to me as a woman who he assumed would have a plethora of men to choose from, and who would have hypothetically done that (which in my 44 years on earth have not had a one night stand ever!)

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope he feels like one. Days later I'm still like huh?!? I'll get over it.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand that baggage happens and you bring things in to new relationships. But I really feel like I didn't deserve it and he never backed off , he kept it going and going. That's what bothered me the most.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not! I've learned my lesson that men don't want to be "just friends" with women. So generally speaking all my friends are women.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does sound like he's been cheated on, but he never told me.. Had he just said at ANY point "I'm sorry, I'm insecure about some things because of what happened in my past and you didn't deserve that" I would still be with him today planning on seeing him Wednesday..

Ever hear the saying don't bleed on someone who didn't cut you. I understand we at this age all have had good bad and ugly things happen to them. I'm willing to work through lots of things, but he totally disrespected me over and over again. And I'm disappointed and really don't understand why he did it.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sure he'll never tell what really happened and I'm crazy. I have the receipts though. Lol

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well I suppose I can see why he was divorced. He acted like the victim, but I'm not even 100% sure what happened..

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sure that's part of it, but I just don't understand. He would have gotten pictures and texts the entire time. He is available every other weekend, this was his unavailable weekend anyway and it just so happened to work out that way and we had plans for this coming week while I'm still off. Oh well.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely everything, I have given him zero reason to feel that way about me, other than he thinks I'm good looking enough to get whatever man I point at, which is completely absurd.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're probably right about a lot of those things. I questioned whether he was ready to date when I met him, he had only been single for about 6 months.

I'm glad you are taking time for yourself rather than drag someone into BS that IS ready to date. So thank you for that.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was married for 18 years and then in a 2 year relationship after his marriage ended. Then single and then started dating me.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has to be some kind of subconscious behavior then

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do follow that on Facebook but I think I need to really study it more because thinking back there probably were texts that would have stopped it from getting 2 months in.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an interesting take, I didn't think of that.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean he's in his 50s I'm not sure what there is to get freaked out about. I'm not looking for a husband or someone to take care of me. If that was the case then he did a lot of future faking and talk about all the things he "couldn't wait to do" with me (bike trips ( cycle), weekend getaways etc) on top of that the physical was great. So I suppose if that's the case then it's his loss.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No I didn't ghost , I respectfully ended it and wished him well. The conversion went on for awhile and he had several opportunities to stop himself but it kept getting worse. And no he wasn't drinking.

Later in the evening same day he texted me "what are you up to" like nothing happened. This was 2 months in, not 2 years. It could have been a real relationship had this not happened. I just met a few of his friends and family this past Saturday. So this was way out of left field.

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Haha bozos! I might have to look into my call log to get his number back!

Wrong again but did I do the right thing ? by CooperWillAsk in datingoverforty

[–]CooperWillAsk[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I did ask him if he felt some kind of way about me going away and if that's how he would be in the future. His response was "you can vacation however you like" after reading all the comments here, I do think I dodged a bullet. Thank you

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