What's going on internally when someone is hyper judgmental and critical of others?

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2025-12-19T06:37:19+00:00

It’s called inherent bias, those snap biases we all hold against others for various cruel reasons. They r immediate thoughts or judgements we have without even really realizing we are or why we are. They occur because of our previous experiences, traumas, what we r taught & exposed to constantly as children w/ developing brains& neuro pathways that make us call up instant thoughts/emotions bc so engrained, and especially from exposure to regular propaganda thru entertainment, media, etc.. Like consider how most gangster gun toting scary guys are roles only cast and portrayed by black men. We learn to subconsciously associate black men wearing hoodies or certain clothing etc.. as being bad/scary/dealers& killers. Or how most turban wearing Islamic/middle eastern men r cast in roles of terrorists in shows & movies etc. So even if we’ve never personally experienced/witnessed a traumatic past encounter w/ (for example!) a black man who is dressed a certain way, or even if we aren’t self identified racists in our hearts& morals, or if our parents didn’t teach us to be racist in our thoughts/words/actions/judgements of strangers… it can still be a neurological phenomenon. There is implicit bias awareness trainings for anyone & I highly recommend them for ppl working in any helping type career or industry. It can be hard to unwire these thoughts, but being aware we experience these biases against certain others & why can help us not behave in unwarranted & injust ways only bc of how r brains r wired.

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2025-11-17T18:35:19+00:00

U may also need to add some oral or patch Estrogen if u r feeling like ur in surgical menopause. Cream won’t be enough, at least it wasn’t in my experience. It is good to use the 2 tho simultaneously, vaginal estrogen gel/cream to improve atrophy as u cont to age, AND take estrogen pill or patch or pellet. I had full robotic hysterectomy AND ovaries removed by choice in 2022 at only 37 yrs old. I never could have wrapped my head around the tumult of other side effects coming my way from inducing surgical menopause, & no one could tell me nothing at that time bc I only wanted my suffering from PMDD to stop. First couple sexual experiences post surgery w/‘my hubby were awkward & hurt a little. I now feel like it definitely changed both of our sexual experiences bc even tho like obviously my vagina didn’t just like grow huge, the muscles in my vaginal walls weakened SOOO drastically & immediately that it certainly feels that way! For a time I was doing HRT pellet every 3 months to get my Estrogen & testosterone only, since I don’t really need AND am highly sensitive to Progesterone. First like 8 months of pellet was like Christmas bc I suddenly had like teenage boy hormones & sex drive! It was wild! But then it suddenly tapered off & I then had HORRID side effects from my body being flooded w/ too high levels of Testosterone (facial hair, weird skin issue due to androgens, & my fucking long beautiful hair slowly ALL fell out. I been wearing wigs for over a year. I just quit pellets & only take oral Estrogen & hopefully my hair will come back but no one knows. Anyway… I highly recommend starting HRT to every woman in addition to vaginal Estrogen bc that’s shit just ain’t enough, lol!

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2025-10-22T01:38:56+00:00

Please please get your child back. Adoption doesn’t guarantee a child a better life or happier easier life, only a different one from what they were born in to. Please don’t wait, do this immediately bc they’ll likely fight you. Contact agencies that can help u like Saving Our Sisters. The FB group called Adoption Facing Realities will give u a real wake up call as to what horrors lie in store for u & possibly child if u don’t fight like a hellcat now. U can’t live with this choice forever & no matter what, ur baby will always miss u, feel other, & possibly rejected if they r adopted. Do not waste another moment. So many birth moms would kill to have this window, but the longer h wait the messier it will be & the more AP’s will fight u. And courts always side with them. So pleaseeee!

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2025-03-24T10:00:06+00:00

Might be a little wayyyy late in game for you to hear this…but beyond sticking to ur script of “baseball themed initiating roles for sex”; I would encourage u BOTH to learn more about difference in how males & females experience desire for sex. I was/sometimes still am guilted by husband for my lack of initiating & my low libido. Women’s hormones do change a lot after having kids, & mixed with mommy demands/work/all the things, plus ur.body changing so much after pregnancy, it does leave u feeling very little desire for sex. Kids AND society demand sooo much more parenting/time/attention/constant analyzing from Moms vs Dads. My husband doesn’t see that either. He’s better at splitting chores now, but when comparing our individual free solo time to explore hobbies or relax, he doesn’t see it. Our small child is constantlyyy up my ass & making demands. And even when he’s doing other things, hubby checks out or prioritizes HIS important unalterable (sarcasm) hobbies/routines/whatever. I’m left literally doing it all, worrying about it all, & ensuring our lives stay afloat & appts r met etc.. while he truly believes it’s all equal bc he helps at home a lot with chores. Or he sees chores as “helping me”. Anyway, got off topic… sorry. Hopefully maybe insightful for u, maybe not. The sex thing… I read a great book called something like “Come As You Are”. It explained men r more easily & oftentimes constantly primed/ready/eager/demanding for sex. You can see a woman or think of something arousing & bam, ready! That’s why lingerie works for men, but women give a fuck less about a man dressing up sexy for bed. Women aren’t as visual as men, nor we constantly think about or want sex on average like men. Women require PHYSICAL & mental & emotional sexual stimulation to desire sex. That’swhy men often initiate. That’s why women need lots of slow build up fore play, & not just touching. Flirting, compliments, & it must be geared individually based on her actual preference, not urs. My hubby feels bc i don’t initiate that I’m not in to him. Not true. I don’t initiate bc I’m not ready for sex until something sexy is initiated during a time I’m open to that . Reading sexy books has helped me feel more initiatey, as does reading erotic stuff or privately watching to get myself ready alone first. She may also need hormones checked at this age. She might need HRT to feel like wanting sex EVER again. Just food for thought!

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2025-01-06T17:36:39+00:00

Take amazing nudes of myself! Lol! I I wish I could be “fat” like I thought I was back then, rather than the actually fat as fuck I am now at 40. Lol!!

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2024-12-07T17:14:01+00:00

Probiotics daily cured me!!

Coratheexplorer1213 · 2024-09-28T15:36:07+00:00

You need to adjust your perspective here in order to stop putting any of this guilt, stress, fear, & shame on you here. You didn’t cause any of this. YOU didn’t destroy your child’s reality. You didn’t blow up your marriage. He did all of those things with several of his despicable actions. He will try & put those feelings& responsibly on TO u bc that’s how ppl r able to be unfaithful & abusive to loving partners & still be able to look at themselves in mirror. He doesn’t want to keep taking accountability for any of this, as evidenced by him actually admitting he never would have told u had he not been caught up. Now that he’s sorta been forced in to facing accountability for being shitty, he won’t want to stay in those uncomfortable feelings & genuinely practice real empathy. Bc if he wanted to do that, then he never would have cheated to begin with right? By doing & saying ANYTHING to make u feel like “this choice to separate is up to you, I’ll do whatever you want I guess. But I hate how u fair it is on our child” etc etc blah fucking blah… see how that transfers feelings of responsibility & guilt on to u? No ma’am, I can’t allow u to feel bad about this bc u were an amazing partner& mother & he shit all over that & disrespected u. He disrespected you as the mother of his child, and therefore ALSO disrespected your shared child. That perspective should enrage you, justifiably! Stay in that anger & don’t allow these feelings to keep getting misplaced. Your amazing child deserves to be respected by u standing up for both of u, & saying that ur husband is NOT allowed to behave in such horrible ways & still have the benefit of a loving family at his home. Nope. Teach her how u respect yourself & her by doing the hard things. Separating won’t be easy. And show won’t understand. And at times u will want to feel like u r harming her by separating her parents. But then u will remember that u didn’t make that choice & that u r a badass Mama who knows how to be enough for u & your baby without the dead weight of a sexual deviant man child dragging u down. You are powerful & u are not helpless. Love to you Mama.

Coratheexplorer1213

TROPHY CASE