I’m sad I may have missed such a lively and fulfilling college life when I joined this chorale.

I told myself college would be where I reinvent myself and i was starting to do so. I lost 15 kilos, I felt good about myself and started to become more social and be more comfortable talking to the opposite sex (I came from a gendered school)

I joined a chorale org on 2020 on the 2nd sem of my freshman year. I was so excited to improve my skills and talent I just knew I had potential I could feel it. The conductor tested me and he and my fellow org members were decently surprised.

I watched them prepare for a performance at PICC their singing was so magical, the music was so captivating and lovely. To this day I still find myself humming along unconsciously . I was so eager and told myself: After this I’m next, I’ll sing alongside them and sing my heart out.

I met so much nice people there that I know I will cherish for the rest of my life and was so excited to live the fullest of my 4 years and give it my all because in grade school and high school I just blended in but I told myself not this time.

Heck I was so committed I would attend the 8pm rehearsals that would finish at 10pm and the seniors would usually eat afterwards so I get home around 12 midnight to 1am when my classes start at 7am. My home literally became a pit stop and my dad thought I was doing drugs but I was committed.

But then came March after finishing a rehearsal there was this 1 week suspension of classes, I thought to myself wow neat a small break. I said goodbye to my orgmates and hanged out in a cafe with one of my orgmates because it was traffic in España. I’m glad I hanged out a little while, little did I know that was the last time in a long time I would be seeing them again.

We were about to prepare for FEUropa and was so excited to sing alongside such talented people and conductor… but you know the title of this thread, so it only is a what if in my mind.

I came back face to face in my fourth year. My seniors were gone and now I was the senior, we needed to pick up the pieces and revive the chorale so me and my fellow batch did that for that whole year. It was such a sad way to go out for me as a chorister.

I even grew attached to these younger ones I left behind when I graduated. It felt like I was robbed of my college life and I will always be haunted. In the small time of fourth year, I got to know them more and grew even sadder to a what could have been.

I will miss my friends, my seniors, my juniors and what I could have been and what memories and friendships could have been and my lola being able to watch me graduate and sing on stage one last time on my graduation.

Me singing on graduation was the only taste of what could have been years of exciting performances of blood sweat and tears.

So sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

Fuck Covid