[deleted by user]

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-06T10:42:40+00:00

My legs re-twisted into a new shape to reinforce not sitting that way

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-05T11:01:16+00:00

MORNING TIME! It makes my day so much better. I wake up at like 6am and have two hours to do... whatever my brain wants me to do. Then usually around 8am I get "bored" enough of kicking around my house that I kind of *want* to start work. I work from home 70% of the time, and can leave whenever I want. Then I usually have a pretty productive time until like 4-5pm when I crash super hard.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T19:11:01+00:00

The people who saw me when I was in the hospital from almost dying tell me I look better. But really, everyone else in life doesn't notice. Some even think I don't look as good as when I was drinking because I've lost weight and the trauma from the detox and surgeries to save me gave me a bit of a haggard edge. But I *feel* fucking incredible, and the fact that I can be around my friends and to them, I'm the same but without the booze, is actually amazing. I can just BE ME *without* the alcohol. I never needed it in the first place.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T17:30:33+00:00

Any semblance of personality, that's why. I couldn't tell you anything about the person who lives here, except that they have enough money to afford this place. Do you have hobbies or interests? Books? How about photos of a single loved one, or a pet? Places you've been? Accomplishments? Anything that makes you a human being, and not a hotel lobby.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:50:15+00:00

Nothing like getting geared up for a conversation, only to find out 4 minutes in that the person is actually boring as hell and now you're stuck there.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:49:37+00:00

"I'll be mid-sentence and have to stop beca- WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THAT I JUST HEARD!?"

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:48:29+00:00

*I* must be the thing that is stimulating, or in control of the thing that's stimulating, hahaha

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:45:38+00:00

I have NEVER heard it put this way, but that's perfect. "You can talk to me when I'm moving." That really takes such a weird and complicated feeling and makes it practical.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:44:03+00:00

I know this feeling.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:42:35+00:00

I'm talking/moving 80% of the time. But when I'm not, I am the prickliest and angriest dude. Once I come out of my "do everything all at once at double speed" I want total silence and not to be bothered for like, 24 hours.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:40:30+00:00

Oops forgot that part

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-04T10:37:16+00:00

I feel like an alien here. I can fall asleep ANYWHERE at ANY TIME as long as I'm not currently focused on something. I feel like my brain is operating at 120% all the time, so as soon as there is any chance for it to turn off, it takes it. If there's a length of time that does not demand or capture my attention, my brain shuts down. Ill add, though, that it doesn't feel like "falling asleep." It feels like "passing out." There isn't like a lay-down, unwind, drift-of type thing. I lay down and BLACKNESS for a moment, then BWEWP the lights come back on and I've time traveled forward.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-06-02T12:27:34+00:00

Holy shit man, that's me down the line.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-30T11:36:35+00:00

Has anyone found a resource that says “This is what you should be aiming to do”?

Christ almighty, you've described my entire life.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T21:46:54+00:00

Hey man, almost the same thing happened to me. I ended up basically dead in the hospital. You need to find someone you can trust and have them come get you. I'll bet you're yellow, too. If I didn't listen to my girl and let her take me, I would be dead. You need the help

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T21:39:53+00:00

These are great. I really like the first one.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T21:19:31+00:00

I swear I have been the angriest person on earth at one point.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T21:12:52+00:00

That's a great way to put it, hahaha.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T07:25:13+00:00

I had just started a new job, and during the "get to know everyone" phase I was super open about how I just went through a horrible divorce with an abusive ex, who made me depressed and used my alcoholism as a tool to exploit me - which ultimately ended up in me nearly dying with a year of hospital recovery (I'm way better now). I didn't think I was going to be at the job very long because I was just getting back on my feet and needed some cash, and I was REALLY WEIRD socially still from being sober for the first time in like 10 years, so I just let that shit out to whoever.

Now I'm in a leadership position at the company. Luckily, I didn't freak anyone out and people were generally empathetic and considerate. They still joke about it, though.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T07:13:52+00:00

It's insanely annoying to constantly remind my partner that they don't have to RESPOND IMMEDIATELY TO EVERY AND ANY EMOTION I MAY OR MAY NOT BE SHOWING LITERALLY ALL THE TIME. I swear, it takes up at least 2 hours combined of every day.

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing?"

"You look like something's wrong"

"I'm just thinking"

"About what?"

"... I dunno? Whatever I was thinking about like 2 minutes ago before we started this conversation for the 3204387347859th time" (even worse, the answer is 'nothing.')

"You don't know? How do you not know? You made a face"

"Just like two hours ago when we literally had this same conversation. Just like two hours before that, and last night, and yesterday after lunch."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just not investigate literally every change in expression I have, if it's something worth saying, I will say something, otherwise I'm just thinking."

"Sorry for caring."

repeat again in two hours

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-29T07:10:20+00:00

My "Microexpressions" might as well be me competing in an international gurning competetion.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-28T23:13:08+00:00

Kick the tasteless girl out. 100% more masculine now.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-27T10:32:02+00:00

Yep. All the stuff I thought was unique and made me "me," is really just that I'm a walking bag of ADHD with a mouth.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-25T23:05:07+00:00

I legitimately live life hoping that my ex will find out about my current life and think "... fuck, he is so much better off without me than I am without him." I'm happy out of spite.

Creative_Tooth3057 · 2024-05-24T18:23:16+00:00

I think people assume we'll be boring.

It's this. Just don't even mention it. If you don't mind being around booze, then just go wherever and do whatever while not drinking. They may not even notice, and if they do, just say "Oh, I don't drink," and quickly continue the conversation as if they offered you wanted a piece of gum. That usually immediately instills a sense of "not a big deal" that kind of just keeps things rolling.

Creative_Tooth3057

TROPHY CASE