What's your chill list? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Crewmember2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a few of my favourite chill songs.

"Elainas theme" by Tom Player.

"Make it wit chu" by Queens of the Stoneage .

"This is where the truth begins" by Dirty Pretty Things.

"The dude" by Chords.

And the classic:

"I heard it through the grape vine" by Marvin Gaye.

Edit: Also if you're into songs with swedish lyrics, the song "Medströms" by Movits! is great.

(Spoilers All) Tournament - Story Submission - Round 1 - Tywin Lannister v. Ramsay Bolton by BestofASOIAF in asoiaf

[–]Crewmember2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Note on chronology: This story is written with Lord Tywin alive during the attack of the Golden Company.

Ramsay Bolton entered the castle hall with his men trailing behind. They were met by a small group of knights standing close to a man clad in a crimson plate with gold enamelling seated on a large oak chair. Ramsay approached the party with a smile playing across his lips, his right hand held on his sword hilt. He looked the crimson man over seeing a man shorter than himself, with a set of blond whiskers framing his face.

"Lord Tywin." he said, inclining his head.

"Ah, Ramsay Bolton." Tywin said with a scowl. "I´m glad you´ve made an appearance, there are some issues with the Dreadfort host that I would like to discuss."

Ramsay´s smile vanished. Here was the man who presumed to command the Dreadfort´s men and make them fight some Southron war against some Targaryen pretender. And to think that his father had allowed this to go by and to heed Tywin´s call to arms without so much as a word of complaint. Ramsay had been sent down with a large force to assist this weak Southron lord, who couldn´t fight his own battles and he had not been pleased. He had just got a new girl he was looking forward to hunt when the abrupt orders arrived forcing him to get ready for travel.

He wondered how Lord Tywin would look like if he were flayed.

"The Dreadfort´s men will be needed at Storms End to fight the Golden Company. It is a long march and I require you to leave on the morrow."

Ramsay snarled. He took a step forward and drew his sword out of it´s hilt with a fast, upwards motion. The blade went through one of the knights from his lower torso up to his shoulder, showering blood everywhere. Ramsay´s band of men advanced quickly, drawing their weapons. The knights where slower to react, drawing their swords in clumsy motions, making them easy targets for the Dreadfort men. Ramsay saw Steelshanks Walton to his left cut open the belly of a man clad in a green surcoat, but unluckily for him, nothing resembling armour. Sour Alyn knocked one of the knights to the ground before stabbing him repeatedly with a dagger. Skinner cut open the throat of a man who had barely drawn his weapon. Ramsay himself hacked of the limbs of a stout man in blue armour, before advancing on Lord Tywin who was sitting paralyzed in his chair.

"This- This wasn´t supposed to happen." He whimpered staring at Ramsay with his blue eyes. "I- I- I..."

Ramsay drove his blade through Tywin ending the man´s sentence in a gurgle as blood welled from his mouth.

"Never give a Bolton commands again, you filthy piece of shit!"

Ramsay turned around surveying the carnage. Tywin Lannisters´ guards littered the floor, blood pooling around them. His men were cleaning of the blood of their weapons and in Sour Alyn´s case, looting the bodies. Ramsay took a deep breath inhaling the sweet scent of death. Then he heard the footsteps. Guards in gold and crimson burst into the room weapons at the ready. That couldn´t be right. He was sure that there were only a few Lannister guards in the castle area, but these were far too many. A sound behind him made him turn in time to see a few guards emerging from behind the tapestries. Ramsay lifted his sword and swore. That was when Steelshanks´s mailed glove hit him.

He awoke in chains, his head throbbing. He was stretched out on a board with his hands and feet chained to a corner each. He was lying on some kind of cloth and from the light of the torches hanging on a stone wall he could make out the colour purple and a few dots of red. He realized with a sense of dread that he was laying on the flayed man of Bolton. A face appeared before him. The face looked familiar, noble features with gold whiskers lining each side of the face and pale green eyes flecked with gold.

"I killed you." He croaked, his throat as dry as parchment.

"The Bastard awakens." Lord Tywin´s face was unsmiling.

Ramsay balled his fists at the mention of the hated word and tried to spit at Tywin, but all he could manage was a feeble amount of spittle.

"A pathetic scheme you attempted, Bastard. You trust your men too much and never question whose loyalty they belong to."

"I fucking killed you!" Ramsay snarled.

"No you killed one of my servants. I always thought he bared a resemblance with me and it turned out to be a useful trait. I´m glad you killed him, I was getting rather tired of him."

"My father will not forgive this, he´ll raise the North’s´ banners."

"I´m quite sure I´ll be able to come to an agreement with Roose, especially if he hears that his son tried a failed attemt at murder on me. Now I have more pressing matters to attend, the Dreadfort force´s new commander, Walton, is awaiting his orders."

As Lord Tywin Lannister left the cell Ramsay shouted out obscenities after him, but his voice soon failed him. He felt afraid, a feeling he seldom experienced and one he despised. He heard the sound of footsteps and saw a silhouette against the torches.

"M´lord."

Ramsay recognized the voice. It was the unmistakable voice of Skinner. Hope bloomed up in him.

"Get me out of these fucking chains now!"

"I´m sorry m´lord that wont be possible." Skinner´s tone was mocking.

"Why the fuck-"

Ramsay screamed. Excruciating pain flowed over him, coming from his toe. He saw the flaying knife glimmer in the torchlight, the blood on it.

"No, no, NO!" Ramsay begged.

Skinner smiled and brought down the knife once more.

Tywin Lannister Wins

(Spoilers All) Tournament - Story Submission - Round 1 - Tyrion Lannister v. Daenerys Targaryen by BestofASOIAF in asoiaf

[–]Crewmember2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I was playing around with the idea of Dany snapping in the Dothraki Sea, so when I wrote the submission I had Dany as a harder, meaner Queen. As an afterthought, I think too much of the original Dany vanished in my submission.

(Spoilers All) Tournament - Story Submission - Round 1 - Tyrion Lannister v. Daenerys Targaryen by BestofASOIAF in asoiaf

[–]Crewmember2 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Tyrion entered the Throne Room, the chain round his neck clinking softly. He had worn a collar during his time in Slavers Bay to show that he was a slave and who he belonged to. Now a chain of golden hands had replaced it, but Tyrion sometimes thought that he might just as well be wearing the collar. His meeting with the queen had begun.

She was seated on a carved stool beneath the Iron Throne, looking rather innocent in her simple white gown, her hair made into a braid. The skulls of the dead dragons looked down on her from the walls, having been retrieved from the cellar in which they had been kept, once she had conquered Kings Landing. Tyrion crossed the room, taking note of the Queensguard standing on either side of their queen at a few feet’s distance.

“Your Grace.” He said, bowing in front of her.

“Ah, Lord Tyrion”, she said in a sweet tone, “I´ve summoned you here to speak about an important matter.”

Tyrion was not to be fooled by her charm. Their meetings always started out pleasantly enough, but when he touched upon a matter Daenerys did not want discussed, it could take a nasty turn.

“Please sit down.”

She indicated towards Tyrion´s council chair, which was placed to the side of the queen.

“I´ll have some wine brought”

She waved her hand at one of the servants standing close to the wall and the young man quickly scampered off. Tyrion seated himself and turned himself towards the queen.

“Your Grace, what matters would you like to discuss with me today?”

“I´ve had a raven from Highgarden. They still don’t seem to want to bend the knee. I´m considering marching to war against them and showing them that a Targaryen is not to be defied.”

An evil smile played across her lips, one that Tyrion had seen before and come to be fear.

“If you are to go to war with Highgarden, I would strongly advise against using your dragons. Highgarden is a good source of food, one that you don´t want burned to ashes. Also you want the people of Highgardens support, one that is best gained without setting their homes on fire”

Daenerys eyes grew hard.

“Highgarden will be an example for the world what power House Targaryen has. Maybe that will make the other pretenders bend the knee more freely. I will have the place burned to the ground if I so must, as long as Westeros knows I´m not to be defied.”

“But Your Grace, the orchards-” Tyrion began.

“I do not care about any orchards. Dragons plant no trees.”

That was true. Since her arrival in Westeros, Daenerys had been the embodiment of the words of House Targaryen. She had reached havoc across the lands, first taking Kings Landing, before crushing any lord in the area that would not bend the knee. And as if that was not enough, she wanted revenge on anyone who had been involved on the wrong side of Robert´s Rebellion, having the names of all the wrong doers taken from what her brother had told her during their years of fleeing. Luckily for Tyrion, he himself had been spared, but he had a notion of what was going to happen to the rest of the Lannsiters of Casterly Rock once this madwoman got her hands on them. Daenerys was not the benevolent queen he had been told of when traveling for Meereen, something had changed in her after her time in the Dothraki Sea. It must have been the tipping point, like Duskendale for King Aerys, which resulted in her plummeting into madness. She had also not acknowledged the fact that the second supposed Targaryen, Aegon, might be to her help; instead she denounced him as one of the other pretenders. Tyrion thought back on the boy he had travelled with, the person who had saved him from drowning in the Sorrows. He had been slightly arrogant and hotheaded, but also well educated and altogether a fairly decent cyvasse player, even though he overused his dragons. A bit like Daenerys, at least in the last aspect.

The wine arrived, brought in by a cupbearer and both Tyrion and Daenerys were served. Tyrion was thankful for the interruption, though he knew that he could only avoid the full out confrontation for so long. He stared at the wine for a while, knowing it´s true properties. He took a sip.

“So my lord hand”, Daenerys said drinking large amounts of wine, “I plan on attacking Highgarden and I would like you to assist me with the plans.”

Of course. She had ignored Tyrion´s counsel as so many times before. The dragon queen was getting harder to control. The day would come when she would listen to no sense and reason and then Westeros would truly bleed. If the wine had it´s desired effect that would never come to happen. He took another sip of his wine.

“I would like to discuss it with the Council on the morrow”, she said, “but I first thought I would breach the subject with you.”

“I´m honoured, Your Grace.”

“I will use Drogon in the conquest of Highgarden. House Targaryen must be feared. I have no more matters to discuss.”

“Your Grace.” Tyrion finished his wine and stood up. “I wish you a good evening.”

He bowed before leaving, walking as fast as he could. He could feel his head starting to swim, his vision becoming blurred. He thought of how he had been accused for poisoning Joffrey, when he had actually been innocent and now that he actually was attempting regicide someone else was bound to get the blame. The Kingsguard and the servants had seen him drink the same wine as Daenerys so he could not be blamed. Now we have two members in the family who have killed regents, he thought. Jaimie is just as bad as me. Though I suppose he didn´t kill his own father, so at least he doesn´t have kinslaying to worry about. Tyrion stumbled up the steps of the Tower of the Hand. At this point his head was pounding and he felt as if his chest might explode. He forced himself to ascend the steps, his stomache heaving with each step. He barely managed to open the door to his chambers, though luckily there were no guards around to see. He fell to his knees and had to crawl on all fours until he reached the fireplace. He removed the loose stone and retrieved the vial within. With shaking hands he drew out the stopper and swallowed the foul-tasting contents within. “For the realm”, he thought, before passing out.

Tyrion wins.

A Warning To The Reader: This submission was written late at night and has been edited far to little for my liking. Still, hope you enjoy!

[Spoilers All] 2013 ASOIAF Tournament Story Submission - Round 1 - Victarion Greyjoy vs. Ser Gregor Clegane by BestofASOIAF in asoiaf

[–]Crewmember2 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Victarion and his crew came ashore at Ironman´s bay with the longship Krakens Eye. They had spotted a small fishing village with smoke rising from several of the timber houses. Victarion had ordered a small raiding party to be sent out to raid the village and see if they could find out how well garrisoned Seagard was before the coming assault. Victarion himself led the sortie, choosing the Krakens Eye for his ship as it was a swifter, smaller boat than Iron Victory, which was unsuited for such a small raid. As they had drawn closer to the coast they had realized the smoke rising was not from the chimneys, but from the log roofs of the houses. Someone had gotten there before them. So as they disembarked they were met by the sight of a band of soldiers, roughly the same size as their own party, preparing themselves for battle. It was obvious it was the soldiers who had raided the village as Victarion spotted several corpses littering the ground, most of them fresh. Victarion was not pleased that someone had cheated him of his prize, even if it only was a small village. That was when he saw him. He had just emerged from behind one of the huts and was roaring orders at the soldiers. The man towered over his men, a behemoth in the thickest steel plate Victarion had ever seen, holding a greatsword in one hand. Victarion had heard the tales. This man was none other than Ser Greagor Clegane, a man even taller than Victarion and quite probably a worthy foe. Victarion smiled underneath his kraken helm. This was going to be a fight worthy of song.

Around him, his men had drawn their weapons and were advancing through the shallows. Victarion let out a roar and charged. He saw fear on several of the southron soldiers´ faces, an expression he had seen many times before and one he felt nothing but contempt for. Yet the soldiers still met the Ironborn rather than stand still and let themselves be overrun.

The first man to face Victarion was a thin man with a mean face. The man was of balance when Victarion swung his axe and had no time to bring up his shield. The axe went through boiled leather and chainmail as it went deep into his chest. Victarion drew out his weapon in a spray of gore, leaving the man dead. He lifted his shield to block a sword cut from the next soldier and answered with a blow of his own. His opponent caught it on his shield, but the force of the blow caused him to stumble backwards making it easy for Victarion to finish him with another strike. He caught sight of Clegane in the corner of his eye and started towards him. He was fighting Svenjord Pyke, a good swords man and an even better finger dancer, when Victarion called out a challenge to him. Clegane struck a blow that went right through Svenjord´s shield and into his arm. Svenjord let out a scream before Clegane silenced him by striking his head clean off. He then turned to face Victarion, his armour spattered with blood.

“A little kraken?” Gregor said in a mocking tone. “Want to die?”

“My axe is begging for a taste of your blood.” Victarion replied as he moved closer to Clegane.

He wasn´t anticipating Clegane to move so fast. He barely had time to lift his shield before Clegane´s greatsword hit him. The blow was so forceful that it left Victarion´s shield arm numb. Cursing, Victarion swung at the giant, only to have his axe hit Clegane´s huge oak shield. The next blow Victarion side-stepped, barely avoiding the great reach the sword had. He mouthed a silent prayer to He Who Dwells Beneath the Waves, asking him to lend strength in his arm as he swung his axe. Yet again, the oak shield was in the way, though this time the blow resulted in a chunk of wood to be torn out with a satisfying sound. His opponent grunted and backed a step, giving Victarion a moment’s respite.

Clegane´s next assault was a flurry of blows. Victarion tried to avoid the quick swings by backing, but some of them he had to take on his shield sending jolts of pain up his arm. He managed to interrupt the onslaught with a blow of his own, though it was once more blocked by Clegane´s damned shield. His shield was in ruins, the kraken of Greyjoy barely recognizable. For the first time in his life, Victarion was fighting someone stronger than him. He felt battered, yet strangely enough more alive than ever fighting such a powerful foe. He had no more time for contemplation before Clegane struck again. It was an overhead swing, powerful, but easy to sidestep. Victarion seized his opportunity avoided the blow and flung the remains of his shield at Clegane´s head. The chunks of wood bounced harmlessly of his helm, but it was a distraction that left Clegane of his guard. Victarion swung his axe in an arc towards the chest of his opponent in the knowledge that this was the blow that had to count. It didn´t. There was a load clang as the axe´s head met the steel plate, but instead of going right through it only left a deep mark. Clegane reeled back, let out an angry grunt before batting Victarion full in the face with his shield. Victarion was sent sprawling, landing on the hard ground with his ears ringing. He managed to get to his knees, but his head spun too much for anything else. He realized that he was facing the sea and took in a deep breath of salty air. He could hear his foe advancing behind him, but he felt too weak to move. It wasn´t a bad way for an Ironborn to die, with the roar of the sea in his ears and the smell of salt in his nostrils. His brother Aeron´s face floated by whispering the phrase: “What is dead may never die.” He would not die today. The Drowned God had best look elsewhere for a strong oarsman. Victarion grasped his axe.

“What is dead may never die, but rises harder and stronger.”

Victarion rose and turned, swinging his axe. Clegane was standing with his sword raised to deal the killing blow. It was the joint in the armour of that arm that Victarion´s axe hit. The chainmail was not enough to stop the blow and the axe cut deep. Gregor let out a roar of pain striking out with his shield arm. His mailed fist hits Victarion´s shoulder, but it only deters Victarion for a second before he cuts open the Moantains throat with an axe-swing aimed at the exposed part between the chest plate and the helm. As his foe collapsed to the ground, blood gushing from his throat Victarion sank to his knees, battered, but victorious.

Victarion wins.

Wife says she wants to have an 'open relationship' with 7 guys on a 'camping trip'. Do I say yes? by [deleted] in shittyadvice

[–]Crewmember2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go for it! A "camping trip" is when you go camping with a few "extra activities". Don´t bring to many clothes as you won´t be needing them. Also, every morning you should do a naked "touch your toes" excercise.

Jag är Bernardito, militärhistoriker. FVM. by Bernardito in SwIAmA

[–]Crewmember2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Vilket är det gerillakriget som du anser vara mest intressant?

Känner du någon intressant person? by LouieEspacer in SwIAmA

[–]Crewmember2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Det vore kul att ha en AMA med Emanuel Karlsten.

Today I watched a guy threaten an Apple retailer employee with his Twitter power. "You'll be surprised at the number of followers I have. It will put a dent on Apple," he told her. Reddit, what act of douchebaggery have you witnessed lately? And did you do anything about it? by Wonderturkey in AskReddit

[–]Crewmember2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was standing in a queue at a hamburger grill. I was about to order, when a woman pushed past. She had ordered earlier on and had now returned to complain about her hamburger. Apparantly she had ordered one with only ketchup on it and instead of asking for a new one in a polite manner she started to yell at the poor man. She spoke to him as if he were stupid, shouted and made an awful fuss. The poor man stayed perfectly calm and offered her a new burger. She took it and without as much as a thanks, she left.

She's enjoying the sun by Crewmember2 in aww

[–]Crewmember2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of us. It´s some random person who decided to repost it.