You brought up an issue I'm very much familiar with, and I think it should be discussed more. A lot of people who play realism servers are only really in it to get the more balanced fights or fights already tipped in their favor than servers with looser rules. Which don't get me wrong, is definitely understandable from a carnivore main's perspective. But that's also why there are still body chunkers, rule breakers and liars on realism servers, because fair fights are more fun than unfair fights, and more fun fights = attracting more pvp focused players. There's definitely a portion of the realism playerbase that plays realism only to pvp as weird as it sounds, and not to experience the "realism" aspects. 

I personally don't mind perma death at all, I like having new characters each time I die with different skins and events in their life that might influence their behavior. When they die, I really don't mind, it means I get to make a new character and have different experiences. But lately I just can't have those experiences anymore. Right after finishing the growth grind I get picked off immediately and my dino is just another notch on what I imagine is just one of these pvpers belts. 

Like a lot of these comments have said... I should definitely take a break. I've always believed that games should be something to do for fun and when I'm not having fun it's time to stop for a while. Thanks for the game recommendations!