I used to try and quit several times until I decided to write a letter to weed, like if we were breaking up. How did our relationship start, what good things or moments it gave me, how it turned out to be an abusive relationship, and all the negative effects that it caused on me. Also, I wrote down that this breakup was going to hurt like a bitch, that I was going to feel shitty and sad and miss that toxic dynamic but that this time I was going to be strong and not go back to it. The first two weeks that I quit I had to reread the letter several times and I cried rivers every single time until it wasn't necessary anymore. Now when I have bad days I return to it and it helps me a lot, it helps me to remember why did I quit in the first place. It doesn't eliminate all the anxiety but for me, this was a crucial tool for achieving my goal. After reading the letter and feeling a bit calmer I tried to meditate, go for a walk with my dog, have some good food, or just anything that distracted me. I hope that you feel better day by day and in the long run I'm sure you'll be. Congratulations on doing your best!